The Terminator

During 30 years in banking, I have had many bosses, but none like the TERMINATOR, whom I shall henceforth refer to as T. He was the General Manager of a bank in the Middle East where I was working.

T was a 6 foot 3, 140 kilos, bald Scotsman with thick glasses. He called himself Terminator because he enjoyed terminating people.

Here are some episodes of Mr T in action.

(N.B : I had spent a lot of time in T’s office watching him in action)

Episode 1

One morning while I was in T’s office, he told me that Messrs X,Y,Z (an Indian, a Pakistani, and a Citizen of the country) had told him that Ms A had been sleeping with a person whom T had sacked.

I suggested to T that he should not listen to such idle gossip.

“No, No, my boy”, said T, “see what I will do”.

He summoned Ms A to his office.

In my presence he said to her “I hear you were sleeping with …..”.

Ms A was astounded. “How can you say this?”, she asked.

“X,Y and Z have told me so”, T replied.

“How can they say this ?” was her indignant response.

T summoned X,Y and Z to his office.

In the presence of Ms A and myself, T asked them “Didn’t you tell me that Ms A had been sleeping with …..?”

There was silence all around. None of us could believe that such a conversation could ever take place.

T dismissed A,X,Y and Z, and turned to me and said “I wanted to let them know that I do not like idle gossip, just as you had suggested”.

Episode 2

T put me in charge of reviewing loan proposals from Pakistan.

Three days later I got a loan proposal that I didn’t like. I sent back a “Reject” to Karachi and sent the proposal to T with a sticker saying “GM – rejected by me – FYI”.

Fifteen minutes later, T marched into my office, left the door open (so that all my staff could listen), waved the proposal and shouted “YOU have rejected this loan? “

The first thought that flashed through my head was “Oh, have I made a mistake, does T want this loan to be approved ?”

The next was “It is a lousy proposal. I will not sign off. Let T do what he wants”.

I said ‘Yes, I have rejected it because of……..(I stated my reasons)”.

“EXACTLY” said T, “Tell Karachi not to send such crap”.

If I had said something submissive such as “Oh, Sorry, I will take another look at it, maybe we can approve”, T would have terminated me.

Episode 3

My bank had under-written a share issue in Pakistan. Unfortunately, just before the issue came to market, Madam Benazir was deposed and the stock market crashed, and the share issue was under-subscribed. My bank had to put money in.

When this matter was being discussed at the next Board meeting of my bank, the Chairman asked T “Why did we do this deal ?”

T replied “I didn’t want to do this deal, Mr Chairman, but he (pointing at me, sitting next to him) held my hand and made me sign.”

My first flash thought was “What a Bastard”.

The second flash thought was “Surely the Chairman will realize that T being the GM, I cannot make him sign whatever I like”.

The Chairman moved on to the next item on the agenda, and T gave me a funny look, half relief and half apology.

Episode 4

T invited the bank’s Board for a Board Meeting in Karachi. He looked after the Directors very well indeed.

The evening before the Board was to return home, one of the Directors told T “You have looked after us so well. I will pray to Allah tonight to give you hair.”

You will recall, Dear Reader, that T was bald.

That night T roused up all his staff and procured a wig, which he put on his bald pate when going to the hotel to escort the Directors to the airport the next morning.

“Thank you so much”, T said to the Director “Allah has heard your prayers.”

Episode 5

T took his driver, a Pathan, on a trip through Scotland with his family. For three weeks this chap, one Yousuf Khan, lived in the same hotels and ate the same food, as T and his family.

I asked Yousuf how it went. (Fortunately, his Urdu and my Hindi matched somewhat, so that we could have a conversation).

“Zanab”, he said “yeh Gora to pagal hai. Mein kya karun ? Mujhe to choori kanta sey khana nahi aata hai. Pata nahin, kya kya haram bhi khilaya diya mujhe. Magar, yeh Gora dil ka sachha hai”.

Episode 6

A.P.N.Verghese was a very soft-spoken and very devout Christian from Kerala (southern state of India). He was looking after Corporate Clients in one of our big branches.

A nasty client sent a letter to T complaining about him.

T showed me the letter and thundered that such complaints were entirely unacceptable and that Verghese must be (you guessed it !) terminated.

I knew that the client was malicious, and that the complaint was unfounded. However, there was nothing to be gained by confronting T in that mood.

T summoned his Secretary and ordered that Verghese reports at his office at 12 noon the next day to discuss the client’s complaint.

When Verghese received the summons, he went into a paroxysm of terror. Fortunately, his immediate boss was supportive. They sat down together for four hours and rehearsed what Verghese should say if the GM asked this or that. Every possible question and answer was discussed, debated and rehearsed.

Thereafter Verghese went to Church and prayed until the Church closed.

Meanwhile, I was feeling very sorry for poor Verghese, who I knew was not at fault.

The next morning I called his Manager, a respected Citizen, and requested him to talk to T and explain that Verghese was not at fault in any way.

He agreed, and called me back saying that he had convinced T that Verghese was a good chap and that the client who had complained was ’malicious and not valuable..

However, Verghese was not aware of these happenings. He had been at Church since morning, praying. (There were no mobile phones those days !)

Verghese came from Church direct to the GM’s office, and sat there waiting to be summoned. T was busy blasting other people. The reverberations of the blastings were clearly audible to Verghese. He silently lipped “Ava Marias” and awaited his turn at the slaughter.

Finally Verghese was called in. I was in T’s office, too.

T drew himself up to his full height and glared at Verghese.

“Are you Verghese?”, he thundered.

Poor Verghese must have wished he was not ! However, he meekly said, “Yes, Saar”.

“I am told you are doing a great job”, boomed T. “This complaint is all a bit of nonsense, I hear. I will deal with it. Keep up the good work, my boy. I am proud of you.”

Verghese could not believe his ears.

Before T could change his mind, he turned around and ran out of T’s office.

Surely, this incident must have fortified his belief in Prayer.

T turned to me and said “Strange ! I was being so nice to him.”

I had no reply.

Episode 7

So, Dear Reader, you may be wondering how I survived Mr T ? Maybe by being a docile servant?

That is NOT the way to handle such a Boss.

Let me illustrate.

T ordered me to go to a Third world country and close a business deal.

“Don’t come back a failure”, he thundered “I will terminate you”.

While in the process of closing the deal, my colleague in that country suggested that we give a small bribe ($ 500) to an official, so as to get the deal through. I agreed.

“Don’t you want to check with Mr T ?” my colleague asked.

“No” I said.

The bribe was paid, the deal was done, and I returned to base.

T hugged me.

“I am proud of you, my boy” he said, “you have done a great job”.

I felt very happy with myself.

T’s next question was a thunderbolt.

“Have you paid any bribes ?”

To lie to T was an invitation for termination. Besides, my colleague might have already informed T that a bribe had been paid.

“Yes”, I said, “I bribed one chap $ 500.”

T exploded.

“You Sub-Continentals ! You are all crooked !! You are all corrupt !!! Why did you do this ???”

“I did it because I had to do it to get the deal done. You told me to get the deal done, and not come back a failure.”

“YES, but not through bribery !! Why didn’t you ask for my approval ?”

“Because I knew you would never approve bribes, and if that bribe had not been paid the deal would not go through.”

“You have lost my trust. Go away” T screamed.

I left T’s office in dejection.

Two hours later T summoned me to his office.

“I am very disappointed with you”, he said. ‘However, in view of the great job you have done so far, I am willing to overlook this incident, provided that you promise to me that you will never ever do such a thing again.”

My blood was up by then.

“I assure you that in case I need to do such a thing again to achieve the desired result, I shall do so”, I said.

“GO AWAY !!!!!!!!!”

I left T’s office.

But I was not terminated.

Episode 8

T left my bank and took up a job as CEO of a bank in another Middle Eastern country, at double the salary.

He found that this bank did not have a Disaster Recovery Site (DRS), i.e. a back-up computer system which would enable the bank to continue operations if the main computer system broke down.

He recommended to the Board that the bank invested in a DRS. The Board turned it down because it was too expensive.

A few months later there was a fire in the bank’s computer room and all systems collapsed.

All the Directors landed up at the computer room, but T was nowhere to be found. He had gone fishing in his boat, aptly named “Brave Heart” (he is a Scotsman, remember?).

Next morning when T arrived at work, he met a very irate Chairman of the bank who demanded to know why this disaster had happened.

T replied “I had told you that it might happen, and had recommended that we get a DRS system. You refused to spend the money”.

The fuming Chairman responded “Why didn’t you come to the bank when the fire broke out ?”

“What for?” responded T, “I am not a fireman”.

T was fired ( = terminated) on the spot.

However, the bank had to pay out the full salary and benefits for the rest of his three year contract, which resulted in T being rich beyond his expectations.

He now has a house in Scotland named “Brave Heart”, a pub named “Brave Heart”, and a boat (you guessed it !) named “Brave Heart” !!


Now tell me, Dear Reader – what sort of a person was Mr T ?