The Purdah Police

Recently, I was at the wedding of a very close friend of mine.

The entire event was completely segregated between men and women for the most part; it was not until later in the night, after all the food was served, that the arrangement was made for the groom to enter the woman’s side for photos. All the women were informed and given ample warning to don their hijabs, niqabs and whatever else they wanted to put on before the groom was given the green light, and entered a specific designated area – which itself was in a corner, visible from a good portion but not all points of the main room. As per the groom’s family’s wishes, his father and close friend also entered, followed by male members of the groom’s family.

This did not seem to sit well with certain members present at the wedding of the mindset that can be termed as "Purdah Police", who began complaints regarding the presence of the men. Perhaps it was the spicy dinner they had consumed that was causing the distressful reaction, yet the fact that they were guests at someone else’s event did not deter them from trying to impose their feelings upon the celebrating families, the very families who had thus far taken great measures to satisfy the lifestyle of their guests.

Nevertheless, something that was not bothering the bride, the groom and their respective families began bothering these folks. The close friend was specifically used as a scapegoat by some to justify their discomfort, despite the fact he stood on the side with his sister and wife, braving the brewing storm of backbiting solely for acting upon his friend’s wishes on his special day of happiness. The Purdah Police also seemed to have forgotten there were other men of the family present as well – yet it is naturally easier to nail one to the cross than many.

Given that the food had all been served, if they genuinely felt discomfort, no one would have stood in their way of leaving the event or immediate premises. However, they preferred to sit immovably and complain and pronounce edicts – in between shooting dirty looks at the groom’s friend.

This whole fiasco was not something new; rather a consistent behavioural pattern of members of the Purdah Police that have infested the Muslim community as a whole and may be as detrimental to the self and society as a cancerous tumour is to the body.

The Purdah Police often concentrate on segregating the Muslim men and women at events such as weddings, for example, and will create a brouhaha before/during/after the event if their demands are not met. Yet the (non-Muslim) male waiters roaming in the women area the whole night will generate nothing but perchance a minimal outcry, even at a firm Purdah Police officer’s wedding. It almost seems like the very definition of segregation is that between Muslims – even more so with family members – and not the non-Muslims we deal with on a daily basis; whether sitting on the bus, or at an interview, or at the store, or at work. Claims that the latter are due to necessity do not hold weight nor complete truthfulness, and if it is truly an abominable sin, then given that Allah (swt)’s earth is big, perhaps the Purdah Police should transport their mandate to areas in the world where they can deal with their own genders only – though they may conceivably have to deal with the (consequent?) homosexuality and pedophilia that is rampant in those regions.

Moreover, male members of the Purdah Police will often implement the lifestyle upon their female relatives, but not on their male ones – or even themselves, for that matter. This double-standard is all too common and furthers the stereotype of women in Islam – and in this regard, it is not inaccurate.

This extreme concentration on segregation has a two-tier effect: boys and girls will often end up looking for spouses outside their own locality of residence, or worse yet, it acts as a catalyst in leading to Muslim boys and girls marrying – if not just plainly "hooking up" with – non-Muslim counterparts. Ironically enough, some of the firm members of the Purdah Police will often resort to romantic liaisons, under the guise of “Islamic activity”, for marriage purposes. It is not necessarily wrong if a Muslim boy and girl meet at university or an event for Muslim students or wherever else and are interested in one another, provided they go through the proper means of involving their parents and gaining their approval for the union. However, it is against the theoretical "Code of Conduct" of the Purdah Police which is usually imposed upon everyone else. After all, anything not in line with the "Code of Conduct" is shunned, more often than not, as being part of that evil, blasphemous cloud of corruption known as "culture" (gasp!).

Additionally, the Purdah Police, in the spirit of their superficial religious zealousness, are infatuated with the outwardly appearance of one and all. As a consequence, they tend to be extremely judgmental, labeling people with enormous titles: a man without a beard can be called a "faasiq" without hesitation and will often be treated even worse, as will a woman without hijab, who will be considered as no better than a prostitute and will be spurned as such. And if either is to be talked to, condescendence is commonly used, particularly when it comes to discussion of Islamic matters. The attitude of the Purdah Police is strikingly different when it comes to dealing with men with beards, topis/kufis, shalwaar qameez, thopes/jalabiyahs, turbans and women with hijabs, jilbaabs, niqaabs and whatever else.

The fact remains that the outward appearance has very little relevance in determining who is more of a practicing Muslim since only Allah (swt) knows what is in the hearts, and the way that some beardless/hijabless folks deal humbly and compassionately with their fellow human beings may be much, much better in the sight of Allah than the judgmental, edict-delivering, obliging members of the Purdah Police.

At the end of the day, each and every one of us can choose how to live our lives, even if it is as sworn adherents of the Purdah Police. However, forcefully imposing the “Code of Conduct” upon others, regardless of the circumstances, is disrespectful, uncalled for and downright unacceptable.