Sissy Fascists

This was back in 1995. A women’s organization (forgot its name), invited me to a discussion forum to discuss the “casualties of the Hudood Ordinance.” Interestingly, also present were a string of pop and television celebrities. All of them decried the Ordinance passionately. Since it was a strictly no-smoking hall, my habit (nay, unabashed pleasure, thank you very much), kept me going in and out of the hall, enough to completely miss my slot as a speaker. No problem, because I am not much of a speaker and would rather keep shut and listen.

However, I did manage to ask some of these celebrities what they really thought about the Ordinance. All of them insisted they were against it. I asked, if so, then how come none of them have ever used their art and talents to address this issue?

One of them, who these days is still pretty popular, said this is not the work for entertainers.

“Really?” I asked. “Then what the hell are you doing here today?”

He said he was there as a common citizen and not as an entertainer.

“I see,” said I, smiling. “But common citizens do not give autographs, do they?”

He smiled back, shook his head and moved on.


My eyes then fell upon another famous pop star of the time who today functions as a high profile evangelist.


Since on most occasions we had remained amiable acquaintances, we did end up talking in that hall.


“So Paracha sahib, Marx kya kheta hai?” (What does Marx say?) He asked, sarcastically.

“Marx koh choro (leave Marx),” I said, “Tum kya khetay ho!” (What do you say?).


“Same,” he said confidently. “Same as everyone here. But we being Muslims should look for a middle-ground in this issue. After all, we can’t just repeal a law given by Allah!”

“Allah ya Zia-ul-Haq?” I asked. I was expecting a cynical chuckle at best, but what I got was a tirade of references from various hadidhs and Quranic surrahs.

“But all this is useless to a person like you,” he added, after ending his passionate spiel.


“No wonder,” Said I. “Now I get it! If this is how our pop stars are thinking, I find myself to be wasting my time asking them to use there art for social and political causes. Of course you will never use your star status to talk about the Hudood Ordinance, now would you?”


Lo & behold! He said exactly what his contemporary had said. “We are entertainers, yaar, not politicians.”

Irritated, I decided to actually use a part of my unused speech on him. So this (in essence) is how I went …

“You know, our Hudood Ordinance would have been welcomed by Nazi Germany!” I said.

He was shocked: “What do you mean?”

“Well,” I continued, “Women in Nazi Germany were to have a very specific role. Hitler was very clear about this. This role was that they should be good mothers bringing up children at home while their husbands worked. Hitler saw no reason why a woman should work. From their earliest years, girls were taught in their schools that all good German women married at a young age to a proper German and that the wife’s task was to keep a decent home for her working husband and to have children.”


He interrupted: “What has this got to do with Hudood?”

“A lot,” said I. “This is got to do with a law passed by a myopic regime in a society that is becoming more and more chauvinistic and intolerant. A society you ENTERNTAINERS are also a part of.”


He stared at me. But decided to hear me out.

“As housewives and mothers, their lives were controlled. Women were not expected to wear make-up or trousers. Only flat shoes were expected to be worn. Women were discouraged from slimming as this was considered bad for child birth. Women were encouraged to have a well built figure as slim women, so it was taught, would have problems in pregnancy…….Women were also discouraged from smoking, not because it was linked to problems with pregnancies, but because it was considered non-German to do so. There used to be a song in Nazi Germany. A very ENTERTIANING song. And it went something like this: Take hold of kettle, broom and pan, then you’ll surely get a man, shop and office leave alone, your true life work lies at home.”

Finally, that cynical chuckle did arrive. But he went very serious when he asked: “So, are you suggesting that laws such as the Hudood Ordinance are a product of fascists?”

“Yes I am” said I. “Entertaining, no?”

He never talked to me after that.