Home is where the heart is

Once again, I have been offerred an opportunity to move to another country. This time its for a job in a middle eastern country. I have to uproot my home from this country and settle down in new one within a couple of months. This is exactly the point that drives some of my friends crazy.

"Don’t you feel any attachement to the people, the places, friends at your old place. Doesn’t it hurt to leave it all behind after the time and effort spent in making a place home, cultivating relationships, making acquaintainces etc. "

"It does!"

"Then how can you leave them?"

"I don’t know. May be it is call of the wild, of finding new places, making new settlements, urinating at another perimeter. "

"Aaagh!!! How gross!!!" (Mostly from females. Guys usually chuckle at this point).

"Ok. Ignore the last remark"

Some even go to the extent of saying that I have no roots. Not to bring politics and ethnicity into this discussion, may be its because my grandparents were immigrants. Being migratory in nature (no reference to Altaf Hussain) I find it easy to uproot myself from one place and plant myself in another. Few of my friends think that in the back of my mind, I believe that my real home is in Pakistan and all these place are temporary, thats why I can move around easily. But then I have moved a lot in Pakistan as well.

Is it because of the peculiar nature of my life. I grew up in Saudi Arabia. With expatriates coming and going, my classmates kept changing every year. Very few of us remained from class I to Intermediate. This does not mean that I dont have long term relationships. Despite knowing some of them for barely 2 years in school when internet did not exist, I later on searched for them in Pakistan and to this day we remain very good friends. I am proud of the fact that I have a long list of CLOSE friends of diverse backgrounds.

In Karachi, I lived in North Nazimabad but when things went bad after Operation Cleanup, I moved to Gulshan-e-Maymar with my maternal grandparents. Afterwards, I moved into Federal B Area with my immediate family. Then I moved to London for higher education. Moved to another country for a job and in a few weeks, I am planning a move to Middle East. Frankly speaking, every new place felt a bit strange initially but gradually I always found myself settling in easily, making new friends etc. However, once settled, I always felt at home at all these places.

When I was living in an apartment in UK, I would call my ex-colleagues in Pakistan. They would ask me where are you now. And I would always reply "at home". They would always inquire "back in Karachi?" I would say "No. in my (room in a shared) apartment in London". They would always revert that "thats not your home. you are calling from your london apartment". But for me, that was home.

I remember an episode of Boston Legal where when Alan Shore is feeling schizophrenic, a psychiatrist asks him where does he live. He says in a hotel. I was mildy surprised. Now that I am paid well, I find myself living in a hotel for almost a year.

Though people used to be amused when I called my shared apartment in London as home, now they are shocked when I tell them that I am at home in a hotel. They just can’t comprehend that how can I consider a hotel apartments as a home. Another expatriate told me that since he has bought his own fridge, TV and stove, it feels like home as he feels ownership of something. Such people strike me as having chauvinistic tendencies wherein later on they will think of marriage as "take up a wife" as if they own her.

But if you ask me, have I felt at home at any of these places, well my answer is "YES, at each and every place". To me, home is a place you return to at the end of the day and be yourself.

Tail piece: I have read about Kings that they can’t lower their guards even in their palaces where they have to maintain a certain distance and decorum. Whats the use of being a king if you cant be at home at the end of the day.