Shopping with Perveen

You bandit. Too much money. We go.

Toilet brushes, Perveen, they’re only toilet brushes…

Too much…he want too much…

But it’s only ten rupees more…

No…I not pay that…

Perveen…I’m paying not you…

Humph…we go look next place…same-same brushes more cheap…



So how much for three toilet brushes? Eighty rupees?

No no no Mr Chris you not do it like this…

Huh?...so how I do it?

No say so much money. These bastards they steal of you.

So how you do it?

Tell fifty rupees he say no you walk away and then he say OK fifty.

But fifty is too cheap…

No cheap right price…

But I see other woman buy one toilet brush for fifty…

Humph…



Can I see a pressure cooker please? Five litres…

This no good pressure cooker. Chinese. Very rubbish.

Looks OK to me…had same-same in Gilgit…

No, they rubbish. Look this one…

This same-same Perveen, Chinese…

Better Chinese not rubbish Chinese.

How much this one?...OK…Six hundred?

Bloodys! No any pressure cooker six hundred! Bloodys!

Well how much do you think Perveen?

Five hundred…only five hundred.

Hmmm…OK…errr…my servant says five hundred.

Four hundred fifty.

PERVEEEN!

Humph.



That looks a nice blanket…we need sheets and blankets for new bed…

Maybe better blankets next place.

But they will have same-same blankets next place…

No same-same, better…

How better?

Very better…



Show me best number one blankets no rubbish…

Hmmm…look same to me…

Very better colour…how much? Nine hundred?! You Bloodys, all Bloodys!

No bloodys Perveen…

Yes all bloodys, thieves…bloodys thieves…eight hundred…

But it says on the shop ‘Fixed price’…blanket label says nine hundred…

Bloodys…label is lie, all liars and thieves…

OK I’ll take it…nine hundred and show me sheets also…

You very bad Mr. Chris…no listen me…

Humph…



Brown curtains will match the sheets…

I no like…

You no like?

No like brown colour.

You no sleep this bedroom.

Humph…



Show me these curtains…

But they are very expensive Perveen…

Guests no have cheap curtains, very bad. Very bad.

Guest not know if cheap.

People look curtains, maybe think you cheap man.

What people? Who look curtains?

All people look curtains. All Pakistani people look curtains.

Why?

Cheap curtains maybe you poor.

I am poor…

No say this…these bloodys understand… maybe problem for me…

Problem for you?

These bloodys think you rich…I work rich man…no work poor man…

Aaaaah…

Red curtains OK…

Expensive?

Little bit.

How much are those red curtains? Huh? 2000? For two or one? ONE?!

This good curtain.

No Perveen I am not paying 4000 for two curtains, and I want brown.

Brown very bad.

PERVEEN!

Humph.



You bastard, thief.

Perveen…he wants twenty rupees only.

Fifteen…fifteen from Farid gate to house.

Here…twenty rupees…

Humph!!