Spit Syndrome

The spit syndrome is a disease that an average Pakistani man suffers from. This disease is characterized by excessive saliva excretion by the salivary glands. The ability of a Pakistani to generate saliva more than anyone else in the world is commendable. It would be appropriate to say that this syndrome started in the Northern areas of the country and with the influx of Afghan refugees, started the spit rampage. I prefer to refer to this with the phrase “they came, they conquered, and they left their mark!�

The streets of Karachi, and the unfortunate people who have no other alternative but to use them, are in particular, the victims of the spit rampage. Unfortunately for Karachi, she happens to be a cosmopolitan whose government has as yet been unable to assert their authority and put an end to this, despite their never-ending promises to transform Karachi into “a clean city�. One cannot even go for an uneventful stroll in the park without our spit sensors on high alert, getting the warning “SPIT ALERT!� now and then.

Perhaps the only solution to this is by providing spittoons (free of cost of course) to all the citizens so that they could use them when they themselves, or some other unfortunate fellow is in urgent need to relieve himself of the pressure generated in his mouth by the vigorous excretion of saliva.

It is perhaps safe to mention here that the women have not, as yet, fallen victim to the Spit Syndrome, but it would not take long for them to indulge in the same activity as the men in the country, seeing as how they are vying for gender equality.

Oscar Wilde wrote in his book, “The Importance of Being Ernest� that every man should have an occupation of some kind, in his case smoking, but the Pakistani men engage in the widely practiced occupation of spitting.