Unemployment Woes

Unlike most of the societies, Western mostly, where getting fired is not really a big deal, here in Pakistan, getting a ‘pink slip’ is the most unimagined thing that could ever happen to a man or woman, well mostly to men in our neck of the woods. You see getting fired is no big deal in the West where it happens all the times. I remember the first time I got fired from a job in the US of A was when as a student I worked for the University catering. After a great job, all of us servers were winding it down with the wine we saved from the dinner, our redneck supervisor came marching down the hall and hurled a mop at me and hollered to clean the dining area. The contempt and the way he addressed me got the better of me and I threw the mop right back at the “honky’ and walked away. That was the first time I heard the words, “Hey, you, you are fired!� I did not flinch, did not care a bit. I walked away riding high on the bubbly that all of us had just shared. Getting fired from not a real job was not a big deal when you are a student.

In matter of days, I got a job at the Campus Security as a dormitory security guard. That was that. I remained unemployed for a day. And the job was far more rewarding than I had just gotten myself fired from. Working in the dorms, especially on the weekends kept up busy all night; drunken boyfriends/girlfriends getting themselves ejected due to bad behavior, vandalism, false fire alarms, disturbing the peace, loud music complaints, you name it and we got it. On the contrary working in the Conference Hall was a drag. There was not a single soul save the solitary security guard and except for the prescribed rounds there was nothing much going on. No matter how hard one try to keep oneself awake, the sand man would eventually catch up and many a security guards caught the Conference Hall jinx and were fired. And that is exactly what happened to me one night. Despite my best efforts to stay up or at the least pretend to be awake failed and I was caught napping on the couch with my Economics 201 staring right in my face. I guess my choice of the read let me down there. And there I was receiving my marching orders from a ‘butch’ of a supervisor much to my dismay. Ever since that episode, I promised myself never to get myself fired again!

For the next twenty years, I made sure that no matter what happens I will never let myself in a situation where I am told to leave a job. If it all if an exodus was required, it would be I, who would decide when, and how to leave, and it worked well for me. It took a lot of sucking up, apple polishing, brownnosing, and above all the good ole English virtue of the uncommon use of the common sense that helped me stay afloat for very long time. All this time, I had resisted to be subjugated to the popular corporate culture and refuted all temptations that lead to being suave and trendy. I kept my head low, did my job, paid my bills and had fun which a normal person would have in Pakistan. And then, the greed got the better of me and I traded a decent job for a job that turned out to be the worst nightmare of my life. The allure of an automatic Honda VTi and the dazzle of six digit salary diminished my ability to see what I was getting myself into. Three months on the job, and my employer, a beautiful lady, who is now a very respectable member of our business community tells me to take off; jut like that! It was the shock of my life. I was caught unaware and worst of all I was not prepared for that untimely blow. I had no back plan; no experience how to go about without a job and above all my confidence was shattered. This rude awakening came at a time when I was peaking in my career, and was full of myself, but that unruly blow took the air right under my wings and suddenly I found myself at the bottom of the pit. I could not handle it and lost all control. Every night I would hit the bottom of Mr. Bhandara’s ill brewed alcohol and every morning I would wake up with a hangover that would dwarf Herschel Gibbs drinking problem by meters.

The ensuing struggle to get myself back on my feet was not very arduous. God has always been kind to me and it was a matter of couple of years that I managed to get me a cushy job and I was back in the business once again. This time around however, I vowed to keep a backup plan neatly tucked up in my note book. You fool me once…! It went well. I kept a tab of my savings and a mental note as to see how long my savings would last if I were to be thrown out. With that frame of mind I thrived and soon found myself basking in fame and success. Never did I loose sight of the fact that this could abruptly end one day, and that is the day which matters, everything else was simply immaterial.

It went well for a quite a while and one fine day; I got an offer for a job that I have been wet dreaming for a very long time. It was like a dream come true! I loved the place that I was asked to work for and the task assigned to me was my only passion in my life. However, unlike an impetuous teen rushing into a relationship, I decided to be careful. I did a risk mitigation analysis of my own and negotiated a package that would ensure my survival in case of an “early retirement�.

I knew from the outset that the place I am heading for is dicey if not treacherous. Yet I gambled, because I have always longed to work for this organization and I had plans to reform it. And reformist that, I believe I am, I was sure that I could make a difference. And that is exactly what I did! However my dream was short lived, when one fine day, the tin soldier, I had chosen to be a partner, decided to leave everyone in the lurk whilst he continued to enjoy the fruits of his nine years of non-labor. I amongst several others was left high and dry. My fourth sacking in two decades took place not because I wanted it or because a mop was hurled at my face, but because the new Captain wanted another team!

This time around, the sacking was not that painful. I vowed that Mr. Bhandara would not to be the beneficiary this time around. The first fifteen days went by spending time with friends and family. I became obsessed with cooling and I cooked more than a fine meal for my family and friends; much to the formers' delight! During all that time tossing and turning the burgers on my grill I had this fallacy that my phone would ring soon and someone or the other would offer me with a job. As time passed and with each burger that I served I realized that it not going to happen. With the passage of time went the phone rang sparingly and when it rang it were creditors or people who did not know of my predicament. I never gave hope, hoping that the people that I have done good over the years would come to my rescue; none did! Then the panic struck and that is where Mr. Hashwani came to my rescue, once again. And once again, I made a fool of myself; courtesy More Brewery!

Like I said before, with no social safety net in place, unemployment, in these parts of the world is no fun. Your get conciliatory calls from your friends, your co-workers and people you have favored at some point in time, but as soon as they realize that you are not going anywhere the calls eventually wane out. In the end, you actually tap your phone to see if it is working and in my case I would call my own number to ensure if it was working! And to my amazement it always worked!!

So my advice to all my brothers and sisters who get laid off work at a senior position, think out of the box and see how you can make the most of the time at your disposal. For me, I have become a cook; I cook for family and they love it; something that I have been missing for a long time which is spending time with my family. Reflect on your mistakes and see how you can correct them. And above all preserve your dignity and your values because those are more important than the dollars and cents that you put in your bank. In the end things work out recession or no recession!