Bad Press

“Press is the enemy.� Richard Milhous Nixon

“I am not a crook.� Ditto

Samuel Butler, a 17th century English author once said “the most important service rendered by the press and the magazines is that of educating people to approach printed matter with distrust.� This was at the dawn of what today is the fasting growing industry in the history of the humankind. Any blog written in any corner of the world is instantaneously accessible to anyone anywhere, including in the space. With such access, the field of journalism has become crowded with pseudo-journalists and writers who shouldn’t be allowed within 200 yards of a keyboard.

Warren Buffet said something to the effect that the smarter the journalists, the better off the society. Who can argue what the press does to public opinion. Good or bad, it plays a fundamental role in not just shaping the society but also solidifying myths and hatching conspiracy theories. According to a poll, over 50% in the Islamic world still believe that Jews were responsible for 9/11. It seems very unlikely that the people pull these beliefs out of air, it’s the press stupid. Let’s get to a few of the specifics.

“28 journalists killed worldwide across world� (A headline on Geo TV Website, July 10, 2009).

“Pakistan eager to resume talks with India� (the most commonly found headline in Pakistani newspapers, repeated at least 2 times a month in every major publication.)

“PM (or some-other M) strongly condemns suicide attack on XYZ and AA� (daily headline in any Pakistani newspaper). Can someone please tell the difference between strongly condemning and only condemning?

There is no common strand in the 3 headlines above. The first suffers from unruly structure, the second from a repeat bullshit disease, and the last from meaningless preposterousness syndrome. This is the state of newspapers in Pakistan and not one Pakistani journalist has achieved any recognition for reporting; recognitions such as the coveted WPR Editor of the Year. Utterly shameless. This may be one of the reasons why Pakistani newspapers (Urdu press in particular) make great wrappers for street goodies like Samosas and Pikoras, and also because they are good at sucking hydrogenated trans-fats. Absorbing, however, would be a better term. If most Indians read Pakistani Urdu newspapers, they will be jovial about their own press.

There is so much and constant excitement in terms of newsworthy items in Pakistan yet the quality of reporting leaves oceans to cross and mountains to climb. One question that pops up in mind is an austerely spelled 3-letter word “Why�. Most intellectuals and academics blame this on the absence of properly trained journalists and unqualified reporters/writers that have flooded the journalism field. These pseudo-journalists come generally from well heeled families, and their only association with writing is connections in and access to the right places. Gone are the days when senior editors will nourish the rookies and mentor those they saw had potential. Now the newspapers that cover local issues have sprouted all over the country, which makes things that much more interesting. Anyone with a little money starts his own newspaper. Whowuda thought that Chakwal/Dhadial will have their’ own dailies? Having visited our ancestral villages near Sargodha in the early 70s, a 3 day old Mashriq or Pakistan Times would be fought over by my sister and me. The fights will now be over freshly off the press yet rotten Khabrain or some equally cheesy newspaper with out-of-focus photos of big breasted Punjabi actresses splashed on the lower half of the front page, while the headline reads “Nizam-e-Mustafa Hamara Paydaishi Haq Hay – Sufi Mohammad� (Prophet Mohammad’s system is our birth-right – Head of the Taliban). That reminds me of a visit to Sarajevo in 1987 where a theater with two adjacent cinemas had side-by-side billboards advertising “The Ten Commandments’ and a Porno. It was such a sight - Moses with his stick standing next to a totally nude female – tits n all. Who wouldn’t be speaking to god? I watched the movie Charlton Heston was in. That’s the truth.

Let’s examine how Pakistani press stacks up to press elsewhere.

Let’s start with India, because we always do. Indian press, God Press them, is another case of constipated 10-arm Kali trying to reach so many different objects but not getting any. Once you get over the pronunciation part, the rest is a piece of cake, example (“Chidambaram Wants CRFP to Play Secondary Role in J&K�). How exciting. Every major Indian paper will have half of its front page (mostly the right hand half) covered in glam photos of mega Bollywood stars even when there is no news to report about them. “Dia Mirza� shaking hands with a bunch of kids is not worthy of the front page of the centrist Hindustan Times, and I am not even an Indian. The left-hand half is 2/3 about US pushing Pakistan about something or the other, and the rest if not about Chidambaram, then it is about Pakistan supporting LeT. All the talent from India has moved if not to the US then to Canada with a hope of moving to the US. All the best Indian spellers now live in the US. Indian Press is as bad as that of Pakistan. If Pakistanis read Hindi, or even English Indian press; they will feel good about their own press. Needless to say that there are exceptions.

In Britain, because there is nothing much to report, the British press is fascinated by the events across the pond. Brits will only pick up the local scandals when there’s nothing exciting happening in the US. Recently a singer Susan Boyle has been dominating the newspapers, the airways, the internet and even the barber shop conversations. There are two major wars going on for crying out loud. Someone tell the Brits that Obama has already been elected, and it is time to move on. Malia and Sasha eating fish n chips in a London pub is not a newsworthy item. Yes, it is important that some MP from duddenshire or some little 12th century village near Oxford spent 250 quid of public funds to replace hinges in his front door. Overall, the British Press, with a few exceptions, is not any better than either the Indian or the Pakistani press. May be a tad bit better. Sure there are quality publications like the Economist but these are really not an accurate reflection on the British press. The Sun is. The Star is. Good thing that Indians and Pakistanis do read English, so they can feel better about their own press.

Now a little about the Arab press. Well, there isn’t much going on there. It starts and ends with anti-Semitism and Israel is bad. Some advertisements of properties that either do not exist or are way overpriced for a developing and backward country like Dubai where people can be arrested for holding hands on the beach. Even though they have nothing to talk about, every Gulf Arab owns at least 5 cell phones. Most important local news is texted to phones, hence so many cell phones. While one cell may be announcing the latest results of camel races, the other may be advertising best deals in cell phones. And so on. Arab Press scores so low that it is off the charts. Arabs should be thankful that their press doesn’t make to most of the world. Almost all newspapers in Saudi Arabia are pro-Government, same is the case with most of the Persian Gulf states. In Egypt, most press is state-owned but there are a few publications that are somewhat independent and even leftie, e.g., Al-Ahali and a few independent papers like Al-Osboa and Al-Siyasi. Al-Ahram is a decent publication but sometimes one has to be mindful of their so-called impartiality. Article from these publications are routinely translated for the World Press Review and give a pretty good insight into the Arab mindset. 50% - Jews – 9/11.

Then we have the New York Times, unquestionably the most influential newspaper in the world that has recently raised the tab to 2 bucks a pop. Unlike the foreign press (foreign for US based folks), every 2 bucks spent is worth every penny. Just the essays alone are worth at least a hundred dollars each. Kristof on Thursdays, Friedman and Dowd on Wednesday, Krugman and Brooks on Fridays. The international coverage is totally awesome. Who can ask for anything more?

In all seriousness, the field of journalism in Pakistan leaves a lot to be desired. For sure the progress has been made on many fronts, with tons of new newspapers and a new cohort of fresh voices, we have a long way to go, but it is my hope that we will get there some day.