Kambakkht Ishq

The movie is bad right from the word go. And this is a simple fact. But even bad movies are reviewed so here we go.

Sajid Nadiadwala has given Hera Pheri (HP) with Akshay Kumar and that was hugely enjoyable. Plus the movie had repeat value. Just thinking about the sequences left us in splits. We would have lapped up HP sequels at any time. Sajid rode on that comedic goodwill.

But when he thought of making Kambakkht Ishq (KI), somewhere he lost his marbles. With no story to write about it is a tasteless khichdi. Even the addition of famous Hollywood stars didn’t add up to its value.

Granted the movie had a great weekend. It did a business of around 19 – 25 crore. That made Sajid throw a threesome party for Kareena and Akshay. Good so far. The viewers were starved of entertainment due to two-month long strike. There were no major releases with big stars. New York was the first big release and did genuinely well and still going great guns.

KI, the second big release rode on the hype of promos. The viewers lapped it up. But coming out, there were no good words for it. There is no repeat value. So, we have to wait and watch how the first week goes from Monday onwards. That will be the test of this movie.

Coming from Akshay, a sumptuous treat of comedy was expected. He made big claims to that too in all interviews. But after viewing KI, he should seriously try other genres too. Not every comedy flick is HP or Welcome. Not every time is ripe for comedy time. Akshay can’t sleep walk away with a bumpkin performance. In many frames he looks gaunt while at others he truly looks aged. Grey is much visible.

Govinda was the king of village bumpkin acts. He walked away with honors and was not apologetic about them. He fitted the role to the T. But that was the village set up. In KI, we have an international set up where money is free flowing.

Kareena is definitely a treat to watch. But she too comes across as a bimbette when she could have elevated the role to a believable level. No amount of Barbie act can add to the acting. It’s about time heroines acted their age or they will end up being zeroines. Kareena of course is famous for her size zero.

Let’s discuss the story. Sorry, there is no story. Mortar and bricks, flesh and blood, lemon and soda, ice and fire or whatever looked interesting is forced in it. There is no head or tail. Rather there is no story at all. So what do we do? Nothing, I guess.

Akshay doesn’t wish his friend Aftab Shivdasani to get married to Amrita Arora, who is a friend of Kareena. Kareena too doesn’t wish Amrita to get married but for different reasons. Akshay and Kareena meet and there begins battle of the sexes. Yawn!

Akshay is a stuntman, who is a ladies man too. Kareena is a model aspiring to be a doctor. (Things couldn’t get any weirder.) A pathetic ‘comedy’ before interval gives way to an emotional saga post interval. You would say that’s a good 2-in-1. I wish I could say that. Till now we are catching our heads trying to make heads or tails out of the story.

As the story is not moving further, songs are added. There is a large dose of ‘exposure’ too. If Hollywood lasses are there that is to be expected. But our Bebo is doing the same in micro-minis (or whatever) and a swim suit too. Even the wedding gown is a mini mini. She didn’t need a mini mini. She could have done without them too.

Gawd! Sylvester Stallone must be cringing at his blink and miss role in a foreign movie. It’s an injustice to Rambo. But the entire movie is an injustice to the VIEWERS. Did we deserve it after paying for the tickets? I want a refund (and so do many others.) The guy sitting next to me opined why did the strike end?

If I discuss the inanities in this movie, it will make up for a PhD thesis. (No one would want to read that.) Suffice it to say, we came out sane after the movie ended. I reached home, thanked God for keeping my head straight and promised myself never to KI never again.

I had a good night sleep. The nightmare was over. I awoke refreshed the next morning. There were no nightmarish memories of the movie. I watched Urmila Matondkar’s sexy act in Kambaqt Ishq song again and vowed to watch it daily to forget KI. Thank you Urmi. You saved me.

You don’t want a repeat of this. Do you? This review should be a caveat. If still you wish to go ahead, don’t say you were not warned. Enjoy if you can. Wishing you all the very best. This love is damned. Amen.