Love Means Never Having to Say You Are An Infidel!

One of the most powerful images of the Bosnian civil war was of a man
and woman who had been shot while trying to escape Sarajevo. The scene
was all the more significant because the dead were an inter-religious
couple. As Bosnia's Moslem and Christian populations destroyed each
other, the couple, a Moslem and a Christian, could not survive in a
society divided along religious lines.

While Americans can take heart that our religious divisions have not
produced the internecine conflict seen in Sarajevo, had they escaped to
the United States, this couple would still have encountered many
obstacles. American society has made marked progress towards accepting
diversity over the last 30 years. The dramatic increase in interracial
marriages proves this trend. Yet while many Americans have come to at
least tolerate these unions, inter-religious dating and marriage are
still taboos associated with a host of tribulations.

The reservations Americans hold toward inter-religious union run deep.
Will the marriage take place in a synagogue or a church or a mosque?
Will the family celebrate Christmas or Eid or Chanuka? Is such a union
recognizable in the eyes of God? These are just a few of the questions
that an inter-religious couple faces when they attempt to gain
acceptance and understanding from loved ones. These barriers are not
just conservative constructs. At places as diverse and liberal as
Microsoft Valley here in Seattle, few can claim to have never fallen
for, nor been attracted to, a member of a different faith.
Inter-religious dating is fairly common. But when taking these
relationships to the higher level in which marriage is a possible
outcome, these couples ar faced with many of the same reservations.

One of the most vexing questions to arise out of these relationships
concerns the future religious affiliation of children. Even the
religiously unobservant often feel a primordial wish that their children
share their religious affiliation. This desire is often heightened in
religious minorities, who fear that intermarriage will result in
assimilation into the Christian majority or the loss of traditional
culture. In the eyes of most, children cannot share the differing
religious identities of their parents. In a society where dual ethnic
identities are commonplace, it is unfortunate that even those who see
the universal aspect in the world's religions cling to the belief that
an individual can profess only one religious identity. While one can
claim to be both Asian and American, or English and Welsh, being both
Jewish and Moslem is viewed as an impossibility.

Our country defines itself by bringing different people together in one
polity, but needs to realize that diversity does not end with
ethnicity. Religion plays a key role in the lives of most Americans,
and the topic of inter-religious union cannot be swept under the rug.
Just as social scientists grapple with dual ethnic and cultural
identities, religious scholars must consider the possibility that
individuals can be faithful to more than one religion. While this view
may be unpalatable to those who believe that their religion carries the
only accept- able message, those of us who believe that there is truth
in all religions may come to realize that dual religious identity is not
so radical a concept.

Interracial marriages and their children serve as powerful reminders of
what this country stands for. Similarly, inter-religious unions can
only strengthen our civic ideal of a society in which different, often
conflicting, people can be brought together to create one nation. In
many ways, the death of a young couple in Sarajevo was a harbinger of
the death of Bosnian society. Strengthening acceptance of
inter-religious relationships will further ensure that such a horrific
scene will never be played out in the streets of Silicon Valley.