Nuclear Viagra and Nationalist Virility

Slogans, anthems and felicitations


Pride and jubilation exude from crowds of Pakistanis who walk tall, intoxicated with their new found nationalist virility. Pakistani national pride and sense of security had gone limp and shriveled up from the cold showers that came as news items from across the Rajistan border two weeks earlier when the fascist Hindu rulers administered manhood potions to their starving populace. But that feeling of impotence is unacceptable to real men, and verily, Pakistanis are potent 'He' men, no one can deny it. That temporary dysfunction was restored with six doses of nuclear Viagra which the country administered itself on the 28th and 30th of May.

I saw a glimpse of this rejuvenated virility in New York City where I attended a few hurriedly arranged 'patriotic' gatherings over the weekend. It was a reality check for a cloistered expatriate like me who has not been to any Pakistani political event since the 1977 general elections. I was reminded of much that I had left behind and lost touch with and I realized that even though we were not in Pakistan and this was not an election victory celebration, nonetheless, the basic elements of scene were unchanged even after 21 years. The slogans were a new take on the old ones and the 'celebration' was of a far more sobering event than mere election results, but the flower garlands and sweets (motichoor lado) were the same.


Mine is bigger than yours

Among squirrel monkeys of South America male aggression and dominance display is demonstrated by rival males waving their penis to each other while jumping up and down and thumping their chests and making lots of shrill sounds. The crowds of ecstatic post-test South Asians may share more with their arboreal cousins from South America than they would care to admit. Some things never change.


Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds


The perceptions of people is what makes up their reality. Thus 35 million Americans believe in UFOs and encounters with Alien beings. Hundreds of millions in Asia believe in rebirth and transmigration of souls. For centuries, scholars and scientists believed in alchemy and melted copper, iron, lead and other metals in hot furnaces in the hope of producing gold. The litany goes on.

When enough people start believing something, that belief becomes a common frame of reference and serves as a consensus about the very nature of reality itself. Thus sometimes prophesies become self-fulfilling.

If the hundreds of millions desire to withstand suffering and 'eat grass' in exchange for the psychological satisfaction of the symbolic potency which supposedly comes with nuclear tests, then they have the right to escalate the risks of annihilation for their children and grandchildren. They have convinced themselves that going nuclear is the only viable option under the present circumstances. No price is going to be too great for them to pay.

What does it really matter? As Keynes said, "In the long run we are all dead any way."