The Beast Of Conformity

THE STAGE

On my way to the stage I thought I saw people staring at me. Though I walked with a swagger my mind was filled with apprehension. Were they staring at me? Or was it merely my stage-fright induced paranoia? The three over by the phones, sharing a joke. Could they be joking about me? As they huddled and giggled together, I could have sworn I caught them looking at me. I covertly glanced down to check if my fly was undone. What I saw made me smile, I had no fly! Today my costume was the skin colored leotard that the good folks at wardrobe had gotten custom stitched. Then it dawned on me. They thought I was naked! The fools actually thought that I was striding the back halls in my birthday suit! What a bunch of morons! Peeved as I was, I felt grateful for the much needed comic relief as I approached the dreaded wings of the stage.

I strode on to the stage beaming, the semi-genuine sparkle in my eye buttressing the fake half smile perched on my mouth. Holding my head high and my chest inflated I lined up my ears with my shoulders precisely as instructed. My bluster however was merely a mask that covered my fear. There was a very palpable feeling of uneasiness welling up inside of me, rising steadily. I couldn't put my finger on it but some mischief surely seemed afoot. I scanned the scenery for telltale signs of impending calamity but failed to see any. The sky above me appeared innocuously clear and innocently blue, the rolling green meadow before me seemed almost contended. The mountains to the stage-left stood mighty and immobile as always, defying the elements with their usual disdain. I shook my head lightly. No signs. I looked around more, peering at the panorama intently as I felt the wind caress me; when it finally struck me!

It was the wind! The wind was making me uneasy. There was something very odd about it. It flitted about restlessly in glaring departure from its usual purposeful march. Today it seemed jittery, scurrying around like a scarred rat in a room searching for the nearest crack to slither into. When the irrepressible wind jams its tail between its legs and scampers for cover, it's usually that grim period between calm and the storm. Maybe there was a storm coming! Maybe. I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. The storm systems at this time of the year usually arrived unannounced from behind stage-left.

Momentarily ignoring my instructions I turned around to catch a furtive glance at the back of stage-left. Nothing. No threatening darkness in the sky nor any meteorological anomalies kicking up dust like bulls ready to charge. Nothing. And so I waited, eagerly.

Soon however, the wind started to act up again. Resuming its staccato motion it started to force the blades of meadow grass to its erratic sway. The blades moved not in their usual leeward submission, but rather in a hurried jerky evasion as if dodging imaginary bullets. I was now fairly certain of some inauspicious event about to strike. The wind never got restless in vain. In fact nothing on a stage ever happened in vain!

My fragile confidence fast fading, my body now gave up the act and swiftly prepared for panic response. The erect hairs on my arms were now responding to the same cacophony that the grass jerked to and swayed about randomly. The damp turf beneath the soles of my feet seemed to be siphoning off my bravado and my legs went weightless.

Beads of sweat had started to gather on my forehead like vultures drooling over impending death. I made my way towards center-stage timidly and assumed my position. It was then that I first heard the noise.

THE AUDIENCE

The sound was barely audible over the muttering wind but became clearly discernable every time the wind stopped to grab respite from its shenanigans. It was a familiar sound that I had heard many times before. The sound of a crowd. A crowd eagerly waiting. Thousands of little murmurs and whispers united to generate a loud din. A din loud enough to traverse headwind scaling mountains and sweeping over meadows to reach my upturned ears. Oh, yes. I knew that sound, alright! There was an audience! Somewhere out there, there was an audience. But how could that be? I felt cheated.

Being betrayed is a nauseating experience. When one's trust is flouted by few villainous humans it makes one sick with distrust in humanity itself. I remembered my conversation with the Instructors like it was yesterday. "Will there be an audience, Sirs?" I had asked politely. The smiling lips on their reassuring faces had mouthed, "Do not worry Fob, no audience. You see Fob, we don't like to toss our greenhorns in front of hostile hoards. That's not how we function here. We take care of our Fobs". Those god-damned liars! They were probably seated in the audience right now, reveling in my impotence as they munched on popcorn. Treacherous little Pricks! With their fancy suits and cocky smiles, calling me a 'fob'! What in the hell's name was a fob anyway?

I mumbled some choice expletives to myself, making sure the unseen audience didn't catch on to my annoyance. Angered and disheartened as I was however, I realized the futility of cursing the rascals that had betrayed me. The perfidious snakes had left me hanging by a thin thread indeed, but I was not about to accept defeat just yet! I had faced adversity many times before and I had torn it asunder each time. "This time shall be no different", I promised myself. If I performed to the best of my ability, the audience would certainly be enthralled. Adulation to a performer a 'cure-all'. That was my motivation now! Adulation! I shall 'wow' the audience with such captivating a performance that the Instructors would choke on their popcorn! That should teach them!

Reinvigorated I took a deep breath and joined my hands together in my pre-act prayer. It was barely a few seconds after I assumed my supplicant posture that I was rudely jolted out of it. It was an explosive sound of immense proportions! The audience had just erupted into a thundering applause the like of which I had never heard.

"Surely they were not brought out of their seats by my silent prayer!", I wondered confoundedly. I hurriedly looked around to see if there were other performers on stage that the audience was cheering. As I looked to stage right I saw him. The very sight of him made me shiver. He was enormous!

THE BEAST

I guessed the Beast was about 12 feet tall and weighed 600 pounds. Outwardly he was very attractive. Decked up in an expensive suit, his strikingly good features and perfectly cropped hair gave him a regal appearance. He carried his mammoth frame with surprising grace and fluidity. As large as he was, he seemed quite trim and well proportioned. The Beast had now taken center-stage just a few feet to the right of me and faced the audience in a posture overflowing with conceit. The audience for its part seemed delirious and continued with its rapturous welcome for minutes on end as I stood bemused and unmoved. The Beast was responding by taking repeated bows in all directions as if he too was unsure of where the applause was coming from.

To me, this unmitigated showering of adulation on the Beast was baffling. Did the audience not see what I saw? Beneath the glamorous exterior and outward charm lay the most heinous of all Beasts. I could discern the vileness of him clearly through the weak facade offered by his clothing. Why couldn't the audience? Or could it be that the audience was entirely aware of his true nature and was actually applauding the very evil inside? Did the audience revere evil? It was a sickening thought. Well, I wasn't going to stand for it! The audience probably was too far and didn't have the perspective that I had, so they failed to see through the Beast's disguise. It was up to me to
uncover him! I decided to approach him. Taking a few steps towards the Beast I tugged at the hem of his jacket. No sooner had I done that than the crowd stopped applauding and grew attentively quiet. The smile disappeared from the Beast's face and he slowly turned left to face me.

My eyes were level with the Beast's crotch. I had to look away. Making eye contact with him would require craning my neck up high which would only make me feel smaller. I nervously surveyed the scenes beyond him. It had grown deathly quiet. The crowd was silent, the wind had stopped it's tomfoolery and the blades of grass stood motionless. The landscape seemed dramatically transformed. The rolling green meadows ceased to appear contended. They now looked like a swollen ocean in freeze-frame waiting to explode into a violent tempest. The mountains loomed too high for their own good and seemed ready to keel over and die. The sky which had turned a vicious scarlet threatened to rain blood through its cracks. Fear was all pervasive as the beads of sweat on my forehead started their inevitable descent down my cheeks. The crowd started chanting now. "Fob... Fob... Fob... Fob...". This was encouraging! The Instructors had also addressed me as 'fob'! Could they be chanting for me? Maybe they were on my side after all! The crowd's support buoyed my confidence significantly and I bravely raised my head to look him squarely in the eye. The crowd went wild.

THE FIGHT

The smile returned to the Beast's lips. He raised his massive hands slightly and cupped my face in his palms. My face was like a little apple in his giant paws. He slowly tilted my face up and the crowd kept on getting louder and louder with its chant. Our gazes were firmly interlocked and I had to summon all my acting prowess not to betray any fear. While I tried to look nonplused, the beast's eyes expressed serenity and a sense of purpose. I saw no hatred or malice in his eyes, but a determination that was almost admirable. We stood motionless for what felt like minutes but must have been seconds. The crowd in the meanwhile, was working itself into a frenzy.

Having my face nestled in the Beast's paws gave me a feeling of total subjugation. Such was the utter unpleasantness of that feeling that I resolved to bring it to an end immediately. I drew courage from the fact that the crowd was chanting my name and clenched my fists.

With one swift motion I raised both my arms in between his and flung them apart. The Beast was taken aback for a brief moment but recovered quickly and smirked at me. His insulting sneer so enraged me that I stepped back, cocked my right arm and swung my fist at his midriff with all my fury. The blow however, had no affect on him and I saw his ugly smirk grow into a big toothy smile! The crowd was beyond itself now. It seemed to have abandoned its rhythmic chant now and was roaring incoherently. Suddenly the Beast pounced on me. Before I could react I found myself prone on the stage floor, getting crushed between the weight of him straddling me and the cold damp grass beneath. He started to rain his fists on me. The power of his blows was awesome. I could hear the crowd in the distance express its approval. The volley of punches continued to pummel my face. Each punch brought with it not pain, but an increasing sense of calm contentment. Soon the sight of the Beast and his pummeling paws began to

blur and the crowd noise began to recede. Before the beautiful blackness finally set in, the last thing I remember was him gently rubbing my forehead with a rag.

When I came to, the beast was gone. I smiled. I was proud of the way I had handled myself. The Beast was just too big for me so I had decided to act submissive and incur minimum damage. I had done well! Now the Beast was gone and I had lived to see another day. My wounds would heal soon enough and I would return to the stage triumphant to thrall my admirers. I rolled over and slowly propped myself up to my feet. I felt a numb sense of resignation. A strange sort of happiness. I could barely hear the crowd, it had returned to its bored whimper. I looked around. On stage-left where the mountain stood, something caught my attention. I saw a half-opened door that I didn't

recall seeing before. Curious, I walked towards it. What could be behind the door? I wondered.

THE BLEACHERS

On the other side of the door stood a smiling butler. He held his pointy nose high and his fixed smile revealed perfect gleaming teeth. "My dear Sir, have a look at you!" he exclaimed with mock disapproval. I glanced down and saw that my leotard was covered in blood and tufts of grass. "Care for a change sir, would you?" I heard the butler ask. I glanced up and saw that the butler was already holding up a new costume, a fine looking tuxedo with tails. I thanked him and entered the greenroom. As I changed into my new garb I could hear the audience quite clearly, it seemed closer than before. On alighting from the greenroom I was again met by the butler whose permanent smile seemed to express satisfaction at my new get up. "This way, my dear Sir", he motioned me to follow him. We walked through short turning segments of cardboard corridors and with each turn the crowd seemed to be getting closer.

The maze ended soon and we came upon a clearing. I was amazed by the sight in front of me. There were bleachers upon bleachers. Filled with thousands upon thousands of people! I would have never guessed the audience to be perched atop bleachers overlooking stage-left but there they were! I was stupefied. "Find yourself a seat, Sir", said the smiling butler and promptly turned around and left.

Every single person in the crowd was wearing a tuxedo identical to mine. They seemed polite and well behaved in sharp contrast to how they had behaved when I was on stage. I was disappointed that none of them recognized me as the performer they had cheered but a few minutes ago, but then I wasn't wearing the leotard anymore. I scanned the bleachers for an open seat and saw one near the very top. As I climbed my way to the empty seat I noticed that the crowd was intently looking at the stage which was currently empty. I wondered if a new act was about to begin. I arrived at my seat and took my place.

The person sitting next to me was a balding middle-aged man with a genial expression. I turned to him and said hello. "And a warm welcome to you, my friend", he replied jovially. "Would you care for a closer look?" he asked offering his binoculars to me. As I took the binoculars from him I noticed something odd. On his forehead were traces of black paint. It looked like something was painted on to his forehead and then had been hurriedly removed. "Must be a painter", I mused.

Suddenly a tremor of excitement ran through the crowd. I quickly turned to the stage and saw the new performer. He was striding confidently towards center-stage dressed in a skin colored leotard that appeared to be custom stitched. I put the binoculars up to my eyes to take a closer look. His facial expressions revealed his nervousness as he glanced around with shifty eyes. I noticed something else. Scribbled on his forehead in black paint was the word 'fob'! I was overcome with curiosity.

I turned to the bald man sitting next to me and handed his binoculars back to him. "Do you know what a 'fob' is?" I asked him. "I sure don't, brother! But I do hope the Beast knocks the shit out of him", he replied laughing. The crowd had abandoned its earlier politeness and was getting rowdier by the minute. Soon enough the familiar chant began "Fob... Fob.... Fob... ". I turned my attention to the stage again and saw the Beast turn slowly towards the fob. As the Beast cupped the fob's face in his palms I could feel a tremendous excitement rising up my spine. The bald man next to be nudged me and offered me some popcorn. I grabbed a handful and smiled at him. "You know, I wish the Beast knocks the shit out of that fob", I said. We both laughed heartily as the crowd kept on getting louder and louder.