My Ruined Breakfast

This week has started of most interestingly. I wake up one sunny Karachi Monday and smack there on my precious Dawn is a picture of the President urging us to let him stay longer for a stable and democratic Pakistan. My boiled eggs didn’t taste quite as good after that.

The referendum is all over the place. A great many Pakistani’s are all for Mr. Musharraf and honestly speaking, with good reason too. He handled most fronts these past few months pretty well and most important, he gave it to them annoying Indians real good in their own land. While I was one of those raring to hug the man to pieces back then at that mind blowing news conference he had with stupefied Indian paper's editors, I want to know who is paying for the ad that ruined my breakfast. Is the money coming from Musharraf's money saved during his career in the armed forces or are we, the taxpayers paying for it. I carry out a survey of sorts about this. Most people shrug and say they don’t really care as long as there is stability eventually. Very amusing, albeit curious.

One friend from Lahore snorted (if that is possible online) when I asked him who paid for that godforsaken ad. He guffawed and said that there was no public transport in Lahore all day that day as the vehicles meant for getting the common man to work, were being used to send the poor beguiled common man to Musharraf’s first ever rally. He didn’t bother answering about the ad. Can someone explain to my 20 year old befuddled brain why a man who had till now done all the right things (is it just me or does that sound evil) suddenly is acting like a moron twisted from the depths? A military ruler takes over a democratically elected government, which is trying to do away with him. This man is met with great euphoria. Yours truly broke open a few cans of diet coke in joy watching the khabarnama that fateful day of October. Yours truly feels very silly now. This man then takes over the post of President and that poor chappie Tarrar goes off without a peep. There's not too much of a peep from the people of Pakistan either. We accept the man almost as whole-heartedly as we did back then in October and don’t much comment on his obvious twisting of the rules and that silly, useless constitution. Why then, for GOD'S sake is the man hell bent on ruining whatever goodwill he has? Tariq Aziz for Christ’s sake. We accepted him then without a legal reason to do so and we have all this time without much ado, why in the name of the god lord above does he want us to vote him in as well? I mean, do we look stupid? Actually, keeping in view the present furor amongst most to vote for him, that’s a question best left unanswered.

Friend from Lahore snorts some more and says it’s the Strong Fauji- Harassed Civilian mentality. They’ll smile and wave the gun at you and you'll let him for want of a better country. Then they decide you should also like them. After that they would like votes, please. Public rallies and referendums. It is then that you realize things are somehow not right. Sac and SameeJB were not acting like upset aunties when they bitched about Musharraf these past months. They knew something we’ve just realized. Maybe, just maybe Asma Jehangir is not just a cranky woman and neither is my father being picky for the sake of being picky- their vehement disgust at the General's 'well thought out gimmicks' is now suddenly making a lot of sense to me.

A girl I met on the bus Tuesday morning on my way to university said most aptly "this whole thing about the Faujis bringing stability is like Sharaon wanting peace and love in the world." I argued with her saying Musharraf had done us much good and that we had no alternative really. She gave me a painfully pointed look and said “precisely, my dear child.” For want of a better leader we will choose the General, this is the general mood in Pakistan. We have convinced ourselves that civilians in power are useless and thus the army will lead us to a prosperous future. Does no one see the subtle yet firm bulldozing we are being subjected to? Don’t we see that by accepting Musharraf in the referendum, on a certain level, we condone individuals and condemn the institutions we should be strengthening? What guarantee Musharraf won't turn into a monster with a sleazy smile and curled moustache some time in the next 5 years? What will we do if he does?

My best friend and I have plans of having a picnic the day of the referendum after which we will go vote. We will eat cake. She will vote for him because “there is no other choice and he does come out better if you compare him to those two duds running the country before. Mushy baby is our ray of hope.” I agree, but something inside finds it hard to digest that a man who is trying to supersede the elections and is using the state machinery to secure a place for himself, sincere or not, will be a ray of anything but doom in the long run. I understand that the man is having sleepless nights over running the country- what makes anyone think he’ll know how to? Yes, he means well. Didn’t all the rest also?

I will vote against the man. He may be sincere and on the right track and even what the nation's majority wants, but the idea of someone playing with the institutions of my country puts me off. Sincere he is, but his sincerity alas, involves besides tampering with the laws and constitution, making an ass out of my countrymen and me. And the sad bit is that many of us don’t even realize what he is doing to us. I will also not vote for him because nobody ruins my breakfast like that.

I go back to university on Wednesday to hear that my whole class, save 4 people, are planning to go voting together- a party of some sort and everyone will vote for Musharraf. The man appears to be a chocolate hero at Karachi University. I ask the four people not going why they are not and find out they don’t like the man much. I tell them their apathy is dangerous. Stand up and be counted even if no one is willing to count you. They give me dirty looks. One girl in a burkha tells me why she should bother when it is obvious he's going to stay. I am suddenly very afraid. I sense my country heading towards the sad and bad things I had only read about in Pakistan studies classes till now. What is wrong with us as a nation? Dissent, inquiry, some rebellion? Why don’t we do anything? Is it a national weakness, disability or are we like the exhausted, tired old man who has seen too much pain and misery and now just wants things to be alright without having to move or think? How very sad that our misery is being played upon so supremely.

In any case, here's congratulating you on a great victory General Mush. Take us for as big a ride as you want to, we cannot help that much. But know, my dear man that some of us will stand up and be counted. Whether you like it or not.