zuhair vazir May 20, 2004
Tags: illness , mental disorders , victimhood
I am a victim of madness, brought upon by very powerful media. Madness, as you may have realized, is a nature. It has been termed as a disease of the brain but eventually it acquires the attributes of disposition. I did not recognize this nature and consequently
yet unconsciously accepted it as a regular existential stance. I did not know when the mental state made its smooth but painful transition. I suffer from severe migraines, indecisiveness, confusion, lack of pattern and also from contradictions in nature along with several other predicaments related to mental activities, but societal and cultural influences and precincts never allow me to actively think that my thinking design is being altered permanently, until maybe now.
The symptoms of madness are apparent in my routine life, in terms of paranoia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, anxiety and the need to adopt certain instruments to drown the inner voice temporarily amongst various others. To think, then, is not an option; instead I want stimulants to drive my thoughts and assessment pattern. The aide approaches in the form of various tools that assist in slowing down the thought process and eventually making the entire process dependant upon it by providing the brain with only the bare essentials and taking away its capability to reason and rationalize (activities that augment my state as a human being). The tools begin by reducing my human needs to a fundamental level – where existence is also dependant upon pleasure – and then move on to decrease all mental needs to an animal platform. Consequently my brain finds it easier to fulfill its information needs just by being receptive to an inferior outside stimulus and would lessen its own efforts towards creating an internal spur, so to speak.
An outside stimulus in this case would be the media whose programming becomes even more effective when intoxicants impair the thinking process and the filtrating ability of the brain. When this happens my brain accepts almost everything especially when ‘everything’ is being ornamented and broadcasted with elements that I find pleasing on an animal level. Therefore when I say ‘I’m going mad’, it is the brain putting up a resistance against the intolerable (by conditioning) elements, that have conveniently made their way into my brain through continuous programming that appears to be amazingly attractive on the surface. This in turn gives birth to the contradiction in my nature that becomes a source of constant dilemma and despair.
Therefore to perpetuate the ersatz fuelling of the brain through various stimulants, I am about to ingest a semi-synthetic chemical compound in an attempt to further become dependant on intoxicants and become even more receptive to the programming with a notion of filial piety.
When Morrison said, “I’m not mad – I believe in freedom” he probably meant freedom to become an animal.
The symptoms of madness are apparent in my routine life, in terms of paranoia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, anxiety and the need to adopt certain instruments to drown the inner voice temporarily amongst various others. To think, then, is not an option; instead I want stimulants to drive my thoughts and assessment pattern. The aide approaches in the form of various tools that assist in slowing down the thought process and eventually making the entire process dependant upon it by providing the brain with only the bare essentials and taking away its capability to reason and rationalize (activities that augment my state as a human being). The tools begin by reducing my human needs to a fundamental level – where existence is also dependant upon pleasure – and then move on to decrease all mental needs to an animal platform. Consequently my brain finds it easier to fulfill its information needs just by being receptive to an inferior outside stimulus and would lessen its own efforts towards creating an internal spur, so to speak.
An outside stimulus in this case would be the media whose programming becomes even more effective when intoxicants impair the thinking process and the filtrating ability of the brain. When this happens my brain accepts almost everything especially when ‘everything’ is being ornamented and broadcasted with elements that I find pleasing on an animal level. Therefore when I say ‘I’m going mad’, it is the brain putting up a resistance against the intolerable (by conditioning) elements, that have conveniently made their way into my brain through continuous programming that appears to be amazingly attractive on the surface. This in turn gives birth to the contradiction in my nature that becomes a source of constant dilemma and despair.
Therefore to perpetuate the ersatz fuelling of the brain through various stimulants, I am about to ingest a semi-synthetic chemical compound in an attempt to further become dependant on intoxicants and become even more receptive to the programming with a notion of filial piety.
When Morrison said, “I’m not mad – I believe in freedom” he probably meant freedom to become an animal.
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