The Price of Love

"Mian biwi raazi, to kiya kare ka qazi?" goes the old saying – if the bride and groom are willing, what can the priest do? Legally and religiously, not much, except solemnize their wedding. But in Pakistan, many couples still live in fear of their lives even if they have legitimized or want to legitimize their relationship with marriage -- as the so-far unreported case of young Aasiya and Abdul Kalam illustrates.

The two met in February this year at a college in Bahawalpur, where he was visiting a cousin. Immediately drawn to each other they became friends, keeping in touch through telephone and email after Kalam, a young factory worker, returned to his native Karachi. Two months later, he returned to Bahawalpur, and they agreed to marry.

Aasiya was desperate to escape the oppressive atmosphere at home. Since her mother’s death about ten years ago, Aasiya’s father Hafiz Hameed, a government school-teacher, and step-mother constantly beat her. Things became worse after the high phone bill aroused their suspicions, even though Kalam sent her money to pay it. Aasiya completed her BSc final exams with difficulty, under constant surveillance and pressure.

Her khalas, late mother’s sisters, feel for her and want to help her. One of them agreed to let Aasiya marry Kalam in her own house in Bahawalpur. Although apprehensive about her son’s involvement with a girl from an unknown family, Kalam’s mother telephoned Aasiya’s khala and they agreed on a date for the wedding. The family made preparations to welcome the bride, including getting some furniture. "We made no demands for any dowry," stresses Kalam.

In mid-July, Kalam, his parents, brother, brother’s wife, their two children and some friends, went to the khala’s house in Bahawalpur. But before the nikkah (marriage contract) could be signed General Ziaul Haq’s Hudood Ordinances reared their ugly head. "If I allow this marriage to take place, Hameed will have me arrested for kidnapping under the Hudood Ordinance," argued Aasiya’s uncle Riaz, worried about the implications of this marriage for his own daughters.

The wedding party returned to Karachi, berating the distraught Kalam for putting them all in such an embarrassing situation, and to so much expense and trouble. Back in Karachi, concerned about her son’s happiness, his mother made another attempt, and telephoned Aasiya’s father Hameed. He refused to discuss the matter.

Kalam later learnt that he had locked Aasiya up, beaten her, and forced her to sign a nikkah with her cousin – a nikkah that is illegal since her consent is not involved.

Since the contract was signed secretly, without any neighbours being invited, they are willing to testify that no wedding ceremony has taken place. In fact, Hameed has been unable to organize the ’ruksati’ or wedding reception after which the bride would go to her new home. He has cut off Aasiya’s communication with the outside world, but she recently managed to get word out apprehending that the ’ruksati’ will be conducted secretly. Her father has severely beaten her, she says, and threatened to her with a gas cylinder. She fears that ’this may be the last month of my life’.

But Hameed may not find it so easy to dispose of his daughter, who has refused to accept her fate lying down; before being locked up, she managed to contact some human rights activists. Subsequently, a local lawyer took up this case without charge and filed a habeus corpus petition to recover Aasiya from her illegal detention.

Kalam is also refusing to stand by and let her be married off against her wishes. At one point, before the lawyer had been contacted, he got a friend to telephone Hameed and warn him not to detain or mistreat Aasiya. Hameed responded by disconnecting his telephone lines. Another friend who operates a public call office near Aasiya’s house is also keeping an eye on the situation.

However, Aasiya was not presented in court on the day of the hearing last week, and amazingly, the judge did not order her production. Kalam’s family in Karachi is now getting anonymous telephone calls (made from public call offices in the Bahawalpur area) threatening to kill him and Aasiya.

The urgency now is to ensure that Aasiya is produced in court so that she can state her wishes as an adult citizen of Pakistan, so that she may be allowed to go to the place of her choice – whether it is to remain at home, or go to her aunt’s house, or with Kalam, or to a women’s shelter.

The law is on her side, as is her religion, Islam, according to which a marriage is only valid if the consent of both parties is involved. However, unless social attitudes change to incorporate zero tolerance of such cases, the ancient saga of star-crossed lovers will continue to be played out in modern-day Pakistan, at terrible cost to individual freedoms -- and the country’s reputation.

(Note: The names in this article have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved)