Pakistan Political Roulette

The game is simple to master, playing is pure fun and the rewards are enormous. Membership is open and the eligibility criteria are lax. There are no written rules or regulations. Once you are in, you are really “In”. Welcome to the Pakistan political roulette.

Who gets to play? Getting into the action is based on your “nuisance value”. Warlords, tribal leaders and feudalists are the favorites. They boast the most authentic top of the line nuisance value. Candidates with a proven track record of achievements including but not limited to attacks on public and private installations are given preference. Owning a personal prison helps a great deal and possessing a private militia armed with stockpiles of heavy weapons really nails it down.

Players with a military background are especially welcome. They play by proxy, by invitation or occasionally when “opportunities” arise. Given the nature and manner of their joining, the game has to be reset. Everyone starts from square one again. For that reason accommodating them has been tough but is currently being streamlined.

Lately membership has been extended to include bearded mullahs. They do not yet fully comprehend the game and often foul it. These amateurs get booed all the time by the viewers because of their lack of team play. Furthermore, their support within the international crowd is lackluster. Most are perceived as simple-minded “jihadists” with little crowd-pleasing ability.

But be patient, these neophytes will learn and over time will get fully integrated. There is not really a huge learning curve here. It’s all easy stuff.

The game never stops even when not all can play. It is entirely understood that from time to time some players may not be able to play due to “scheduling problems”. Reasons given by players for such short-term absences are mostly “personal” such as an issuance of a fresh arrest warrant or pending jail time. These are considered legitimate reasons and do not form the basis for the players to relinquish their seat at the table. Most are able to join later at a more opportune time.

Longer–term absences are treated rather differently. For example, a player may have been out of the country for an extended period of time or have been wiped out by some catastrophic fatal event. In such cases, they’ll be appropriately represented by the nearest family member, given the fact that all family members of a player are equally qualified to play the game.

The game gets hot often and tempers fly, but the well-bred members usually are able to resolve their differences by give and take.

What is on stake? Well, the players are part of an elite club that acquires the absolute control of almost everything. No holds barred. The resources, the development, domestic affairs, foreign policy matters, and the future of Pakistan, everything is on the line.

Lifetime membership, blanket immunity from due process and a bounty of financial perks are available to the members of this aristocratic club.

On the downside, the participants are virtually guaranteed to get immensely rich in the process, a risk they are willing to take for all that trouble.

This power game has plagued Pakistan since its inception. We know the game and very well know the players. Their faces may have changed over time but their gaming strategy remains the same.

Excitement is building and the crowd is cheering. Sit tight, the next round is about to begin.