Changing Muslim Hearts

'It sucks to be Muslim.' Those were the words uttered by my 15-year-old son as we sat glued to the TV, watching coverage of the unspeakable crime that had been committed against humanity a few days before on 9/11.

So began an essay I wrote a few years ago and entered in a local contest. To my fellow Americans, I insisted that not all Muslims were bad; to my Muslim brethren, I tried to highlight the opportunity this country afforded us - its shortcomings notwithstanding - and how that opportunity was perilously under attack by the negative attitudes so prevalent among Muslims in the West.

Terrorist actions, I said, were the ultimate expression of a tendency that starts at home and insidiously plagues our lot.

Since my original essay, there were bombings in Madrid and London. The reaction from the Muslim world, especially following 7/7, is vastly different. We went from dancing in the streets to a fatwa against Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda. Muslims all over the world condemned the act. Why the change? What brought on this reckoning with the obvious?

Maybe time has shown us the hopelessness and ultimate ineffectiveness of such acts. Maybe being singled out at airports became a terrible inconvenience. Maybe parents were anguished by their children being made fun of and marginalized. Or maybe the terror tactics terrorized us - hitting too close to home, claiming Muslim lives. Or maybe we finally saw that terrorism is a totally unreliable and dangerously disloyal ally - the Iraqi insurgency uses it to decimate its own people; Pakistani extremists use it regularly for perceived political gains.

Whatever the reason for our change of heart, the trend is heartening. Let's take it to where all Muslims condemn violence all the time, without the "yes-but" syndrome that seems to have so many of us by the throat. Yes, killing is bad, we've elevated ourselves to say, but we do it because ... Let's have none of that. Let's stand up and fight for our rights, but do it through peaceful means. Let's organize, understand, lobby, read, write and get our voices heard, not our bombs.

My fellow Muslims, let it all begin at home. If we're going to live in this country and reap the benefits of a free, if imperfect, society, let's learn to love it. Or at least not hate it. Or at the very least, stifle our urges to say disparaging things in front of our kids. Muslim children often find themselves having to sustain two frames of mind: one at home for the appeasement of parents who can't seem to let go of the good old days back in the home country, and another out in the world to gain acceptance from their American peers. My guess is that oftentimes it is this dichotomy that plays into a young man's decision to seal his sense of identity through a terrible act of violence.

Let's intercept the germination of this violent intent in the young Muslim's psyche. Start by getting to know our neighbors. Learn more about this country and talk about it with our kids. By all means, criticize its shortcomings, but in a context of concern, not condescension.

It's amazing how few of us realize that our kids will never have the same attachment to our home country as we do. Give them the right and the space and the legitimacy to love America more than they can ever love your birthplace.

And finally, here is a call for a grass-roots effort by the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Offer every naturalized citizen and his or her family acclimation classes. Trust me, they will be well worth it. Teach newly naturalized citizens the language, the culture, the ways of being an upstanding citizen. And how about some anti-violence, anti-terrorism classes thrown in for good measure?

And here's a real American Dream: We can all get along. But we have to work at it. My hope is that Muslims all over will continue to condemn violence and leave a legacy of love and acceptance for their children, so that, eventually, it won't suck to be Muslim.