Farzana Versey December 31, 2003

Tags:

href="/tag/Chowk">Chowk
Even if you want to baulk
It’s time for some lighthearted fun
A turn of phrase, a bit of pun
Did I hear you say I am a dork?

Ah, never mind
Let us try and find
What we saw in the year
That made us prick up our ear
And go deaf when we ought to have got blind.

All it took for George W. Bush
Was for Tony to give him a push
They pretended to stomp into the lair
Both Dubya and Blair
Believed that their love for war was fair.

So what does OBL do in a cave?
He certainly does not need a shave
Why don’t we leave him alone?
He is probably now an idol of stone
On a pedestal because of the Yankee knaves.

In the West they still think Arabs
Are men who love camels
They don’t care about what they do
And are not even sure if they have a loo
For them all crap comes from bearded mammals.

Saddam’s spider hole
Played a major role
He managed to sing like a lark
“I am the president of Iraq.”
Wonder where he hid the mole.

“Thank god for make-up”
T’was Madeleine Albright’s wake up
Tired, but in a trice
She’d give a run to any Rice
But only Condi can tell the Prez to shut up.

Oh California dreamin’
About a land of he-men
So they elected Arnie
And Dick got all smarmy
About his better sea-men!

I thought Punjab was doing its bit
To make Canadian laws a hit
With Daler sending hatta-katta men to Tonto
They’d get jobs a-pronto
Nah, this ain’t about being gay, but about being fit!

Will Mushy and Atal meet?
They ask as though it were a huge feat
These two are talking heads
Flip the coin and tails you’ll get
All they want is to save their seat.

Poor Nawaz in Riyadh is waiting
He has all but given up baiting
His Saudi car may be slinky
But what can he do about Pinky
Who is a master at scoring higher ratings?

This Benazir is a girl no more
But watch her as she works her lore
Of folksy Sindhi common sense
You must be really dense
If you didn’t see how she had Advani floored.

Narendra Modi has nothing at stake
Even after the Best Bakery case
He can work on the dough
With his arrow and bow
Whoever said you cannot eat and have your cake?

Everyone knows Dawood Ibrahim’s address
But they say they cannot find his nest
He comes and goes
He’s even on the phone
Methinks there is more to it than less.

It took a BA first class flight
For Liz and Arun to discover their lustful plight
The woman who dumped Hugh
Over the Divine Brown cry and hue
Just could not get over an Indian with his fire alight.

What’s with the group ‘Junoon’
Why do they sing like every night’s a noon?
They say, “sayonee-sayonee”
And quake in their own knees
No wonder the cow flew over the moon.

What’s Sharukh got that others do not
Besides a stutter and a snort?
I tell you it’s this Karan boy
Who made a star from a toy
In films that tell you your parents are still tiny tots.

So now films are proving
That Indo-Pak’s grooving
They’ll show a girl pine
For a boy who could do with some wine
Instead the fool waits for the troops to get moving.

The same’s with cricket
Shoaib is willing to teach our boys to take wickets
He may be the Pindi Express
But our Sachin knows best
How to get a Ferrari and walk out of the tax net.

They just loved Laloo in Pakistan
He was like iftaar in Ramzan
They got their man in dhoti
Eating humble dal and roti
Now they can say, “Bola na, yehi hai Hindustan”.

Indians too play games of “you are nothing like me”
For them Lahore is all about Heera Mandi
As for Karachi the less said the better
They haven’t heard about Bombay’s superior litter
And Islamabad, isn’t it Washington’s laundee?

Ah, why do we have these hitches?
It’s all the fault of the sons of bitches
Who created this big divide
And left us to fight
Over who makes worse glitches.

This is all I can recall
Excuse me, I need to take a call
Ah, he wants to know if I plan to become mellow
What do I tell the poor fellow --
That I may lose my marbles, but not my balls?

Watch what the coming year brings
And dance with the wolves while Britney sings
It could be the great American dream
To bring another country down on its knees
So, let ‘oops, I did it again’ in your ears ring.