Dreamscape

We stand and peer over the boundary wall,

My younger sister and I,

I spot a familiar face, point it out to her,

A closer look, nothing has changed

I had expected it would have grown older,

My memory has frozen the face in time.

We start a conversation, my sister seems at ease,

And the face responds pleasantly,

The give and take of interaction is proceeding smoothly,

Always an outsider, I try hard

Familiar panic wells up inside,

"Not good enough" says the voice,

Does it play only in my head?



The scene shifts and we are sitting on a red-cushioned swing,

My friend and I swing and chat,

Behind us the house is palatial,

Landscaped, sloping gardens,

Two men walk through the gate,

I wish I had a brother.

Inside the party rages and I grow more uncomfortable,

An effeminate looking man corners a girl,

And talks to her animatedly (or fakely)

It's all a hopeless put-on show,

This beautiful woman, shining and laughing

As the disco lights play on her,

An illusion is shatterd,

Is this the woman I am supposed to love?



I run to the fountains nearby,

The three of us are walking

Laughing, oblivious of the dangers ahead,

I see it first, a magnificent brute

Breaking its chains, the race is on

Why am i always at the rear?

The gap closes, I can hear the panting of the monster,

The jaws close upon my hand.

Swiftly and majestically it runs,dragging me along,

Crowds gather, a couple of people jeer,

Mocking my plight, I hear a voice say

"What a fool",

Or does it play only in my head?

And then from a hitherto inaccessible place within,

I conjure a beast, my saviour,

Battle is joined but victory is harder than I thought,

Stalemate.

In my dreams I live,

And when I wake I die,

Hooded figures jump over the boundary wall,

Where my younger sister and I stand and peer.

I'm a law student in England currently and a regular Chowk reader. I find it a really good way of keeping in touch with the thinking and efforts of people back home.