Losing My Religion

To begin with, to be honest, I don’t know if I would have ever thought so deeply and been so concerned regarding what I am going to write about if my husband’s great grandfather hadn’t been a Muslim, due to which, my children today have Muslim surnames.

And when I re read these first three lines, there is that justification again…why couldn’t I just write that my children are Muslim, at least according to the law of our patriarchal land? Actually, their birth certificates say they are Hindus because if you get into the math of it that is the only dominant religion in their lives. A friend of mine created a big fuss when her son was born and insisted he be put down as an Indian…and after much ado…she succeeded!

I wasn’t born into a religious family. And nor was my husband. I remember going to the church with my maid and I also remember pleading with her to buy me a Mother Mary pendant which I then strung onto a black thread, like she did. In Sanawar, where I studied, we all attended assembly at the chapel and sang hymns along with bhajans in Hindi. But it was more ceremonial…not religious. I can’t exactly remember the first time I went to a temple…but I always believed in a God…he was there, everywhere, in us and out of us. Over the years, my belief in my God has only become that much stronger. And this God of mine doesn’t belong to any particular religion.

So, when my son, aged 6, shortly after 9/11, comes to me and gingerly asks me – Mama, am I a Muslim? I am stumped. And immediately begin telling him he is ¾ Hindu and ¼ Muslim. That’s once again, my own insecurity about the world we live in. I ask him why he asked me this question, he said, in school the kids discussed 9/11 and all believed the Muslims were very bad people and he really didn’t want to be one of them…and again, was he? So, I told him that there are people of all religions who inhabit this world and “bad” people don’t belong to a particular religion. On another occasion he told me that, in another discussion, some kids told him – Gosh, we didn’t know you were a Muslim…we hate Muslims. So, he immediately gave them his ¾ / ¼ formula and all was well…at least for now. Subsequently, he has made one shelf in his room a temple with lots of little Hindu Gods and Goddesses….

What disturbs me, is that, I don’t remember at age 6 plus, ever having these sorts of discussions with my friends. I don’t even remember having personal discussions about religion with my friends at a later age.

What disturbs me even more is that these children are quite clearly, picking up what they overhear at home.

What sort of children are we bringing up as future citizens of our country? Where is the knowledge and understanding that we are Humans first and religion, however important it might be to some, should remain in the private domain. And most importantly, where is the concept, that above all, we are Indians? This is what we all need to lay great emphasis on, in our hearts, in our homes, in our communities and in our schools.