Cry No More

In the name of the eternal philosophy of life and death, of pain and ecstacy, this is dedicated to my late grandmother who died in a coma and left us barren-hearted.

Sweeter memories come to life,
When all is gone; when all is lost!
O! What a vacant, vacant strife!
O! What a heavy, heavy cost!

I often ask my heart, when I remember your grave among weeds, "Was it
disease that killed you or was it the hatred?" The only reply to my query is a
silent tear that wets my eyelashes but fails to caress my cheeks. It stops right
there, for then I remember your face...your sad, lonely face; your arms...the
weak, yet supporting arms; and your eyes...your deep and penetrating eyes. Your
memory still comforts my heart!! I remember the days of your pain. God knows
that my heart and soul suffered when I stood besides you. I wanted to heal you
but I turned to stone. I felt for you, I saw and heard, but like a lifeless body
I failed to help. I remember your words, "They who have power to hurt....." I
remember your tears that I dried. I remember your heartbeat when I hugged
you....but with all these memories comes the reminiscence of your desperation
when I sadly turned to leave and you held my hand....I came closer and you
looked at me, as though you knew it was the last time we' d meet in this world!

I can still feel the silence, the pain and the faith we shared. How cruel death
is! But is life a lesser evil? NO!! When you lay among the rose petals you were
so radient, so calm, as though your soul was free at last; free from the golden
gaol of life! When all were in mourning I silently watched you; every line on
your face, every feature, every limb was calm and tranquil, as though life had
never stained the sculpture of innocence that lay before me. With a frivolous
hope that anytime you'd wake up and call my name, I bent over you and kissed
your forehead as I always did. You never stirred from your sleep, and then I
cried bitterly....you betrayed me, too; you left me all alone when I needed your
company and you left me in a shattered world of hope!


Though at that time I could not find a remedy to my hopelessness, but
now I realize that losing you was a test of fire that strengthened and hardened
me in a perfect mould. I grew more sensitive to the pains of all men; I learnt
to leash my greed and temper; I put in my best efforts in every strife; I let
people feel my presence while I live among them; I recognized my duties towards
mankind and God; Most importantly, I learnt that no grave could take you away
from me, for you lived within me! So many times my heart fills with grief and I
want to weep, but then I remember that you lie in peace, the peace that life
failed to give you...Triumphantly I smile and tell myself...Cry no more!!