Simulated

The Experiment

The spherical space ship tore through the gas cloud like a bullet through cotton candy. The hot, glowing hydrogen gas remained mostly undisturbed, except for the earth-sized cross-section in front of the ship. But that changed quickly, relatively speaking, as it took the ship centuries to reach the centroid of the gas cloud. Then, without warning, the ship exploded, or at least seemed to explode, as thousands of fragments ejected simultaneously, and radiated out from the former position of the ship, in almost all directions, except those angularly close to the exact opposite trajectory of the original ship. Each fragment was itself a sphere, about one kilometer in diameter. The gas, as if trapped by an invisible net, accumulated around the fragments, so that when they left the cloud centuries later, each was itself surrounded by a smaller gas cloud, so that it looked like a very diffuse mini-planet.

Jacob woke up startled, as if someone had snapped their fingers inside
his brain. He sat up like a puppet, confused by the act, which was
not at all of his own volition. He stared dumbfounded at the angel
sitting at the foot of his bed.

"Good morning, Jacob," the angel said cheerfully.

"Er, good morning," Jacob whimpered.

"Do not be alarmed; I am here to bring you great news!"

Jacob studied the angel while he struggled for a reply. It looked
like a regular person, albeit androgynous. The wings could be fake,
but it was the luminosity of the face that was curious, as if a
halogen lamp were burning inside its head. Jacob could not come up
with anything useful to say.

"Let’s go for a walk, shall we?" the angel proposed.

"But..."

Before Jacob could complete the thought, he was standing next to his
bed, showered, clothed and apparently well fed. Scrambled eggs,
toast, bacon and orange juice he seemed to recall. But that was
absurd?

Of course, so was the fact that he found himself following the angel
through a gorgeous garden on a tiny island in the Italian alps!

"Do you know where we are Jacob?"

"I have no clue," Jacob stammered.

"We are on the island of Isolabella. These are the gardens belonging to the local monastery."

"Why have you brought me here? Am I really here? Is this a dream?"

"No, Jacob, you are not dreaming. All of this is as real as the rest
of your life has been. But we are here to talk about your future."

"What about my future?"

A sense of panic returned to Jacob. Forgotten images of purgatory
flashed through his mind.

"Your future is looking very, shall we say, luminescent. You have
been identified as a potential angel."

"What?! But..."

"I know, this comes as a great surprise, which is of course the point.
You have no ambition, no pretense, no piety really. It makes you a
perfect candidate."

"But I don’t understand; I’m not worthy; I mean, I..."

"Not to worry Jacob, I will explain everything to you in great
detail."

And so he did, as they sat down on a stone bench overlooking the
garden, with the blue lake at their backs.


The rapidly spinning mini-ship began to absorb the gas molecules surrounding it as they coalesced into a disk.
It did so very slowly, at the rate of just a few molecules per day.
Meanwhile, the ship continued to accelerate, until it reached a
velocity nearly half the speed of light. In the process, it’s spherical
body grew to over a thousand times its original size. It was heading
straight for the nearest galaxy, which it should reach in about one million
years.



Jacob got out of bed, and nearly stepped into his bed pan. He barely
swallowed a curse, as he bent down to pick it up. He carried it to
the out-house and emptied it quickly. He whispered a prayer under his
breath, then walked back into the monastery. Despite his heavy frock,
he felt a bit chilly. The sun had only just begun to make an
appearance.

"Good morning, brother Jacob."

"Good morning, brother Elk."

Jacob hurried past the monk, as he couldn’t stand him. He glanced up
at the heavy granite ceiling as he sent a silent prayer for
forgiveness upwards. He tried to explain himself to the angel in his
head; the fact that he had only been a monk for 4 weeks (not that he
was keeping track...), etc. But he quickly gave up as he knew it was
of no use. The angel had told him that he was already forgiven for
all the sins he would ever commit.

"Nothing you will do can prevent you from becoming an angel," the
angel had told him.

It was all so confusing; there was so much to learn, so much
preparation required.

"’Why the sudden need for another angel?" he had asked. Didn’t angels
live forever? ’Yes,’ the angel had said, ’but there are more people
in the world, and we need more angels to watch over them.’ What did
that even mean? To ’watch over them?’ Did that mean the angel had
been watching him all his life? It was embarrassing to say the least!
And now he was being prepared to do the same to someone else? And for
what purpose? What were they watching for? ’We look for potential
candidates,’ the angel had told him. That made even less sense. The
entire purpose of an angel’s existence was to look for and prepare
future angels? Then again, wasn’t that exactly what humans did? Make
more of themselves! Make babies, then spend twenty years carefully
raising them and teaching them all you know, so that they could do the
same thing all over again! Yet somehow it had seemed to Jacob that
angels should have some higher purpose. Weren’t they there to serve
God after all? Where was God in all this watching? Did he order it?
The angel had answered so few of his questions. And why did he accept
anyway? The angel had made it clear that he was free to refuse the
offer. He could return to his regular life, and the memories of his
encounter with the angel would be completely erased. He wouldn’t even
know that he had refused. But the promise of eternity was too strong.
He still shuddered at the answer the angel had given to his final
question: if he refused, would he still continue in some form after
his death? The answer had been short, and definitive.

Jacob ate his breakfast in silence. He was starving and the warm
oatmeal tasted better than it ever had during his 4 week stay. He
glanced at the other monks around the table. Some were chatting with
each other, but most kept to themselves just like Jacob. Brother Elk
was the usual exception, braying loudly on some subject that was
clearly failing to interest any of his listeners. Jacob turned away
and concentrated again on his food, and on his thoughts.

Jason’s day was spent studying the scriptures, praying and doing
menial labor. He detested kitchen duty; especially as he had worked
in restaurant kitchens as a teenager, and foresworn it. But here he
was, once again, peeling potatoes. What made it worse was that the
monastery refused to use any technology more advanced than a sharp
knife!

Jason finally made it back to his tiny room at curfew: 10 pm. He
placed his candle on the small table and loosened the rope that held
his frock in place. The room was just large enough to fit a narrow
bed, a tiny table and chair, and a hook for hanging his frock. There
was a small window near the ceiling, which served as ventilation.
Jason sat on the bed, and tried to ignore the lustful urges welling up
inside of him. The monks were required to remain strictly celibate;
they were not allowed even to masturbate. But Jacob could no longer
resist, and he attacked himself with an urgency he had not felt since
he first discovered how to pleasure himself many years ago. It was
then that the angel made his second appearance.

The angel’s presence was immediately manifest by the fact that the
room lit up as if the sun had been placed inside the walls. Startled,
Jacob pulled the frock around him and shivered. It was a chilly night
to begin with, and being caught in the act made him even more aware of
how cold he was.

"Don’t be alarmed Jacob. What you were doing is of no consequence."

"Well, it is against the rules, isn’t it?"

"Yes, but those are the rules of the monastery. Not the rules of God.
Still, you would be wise to obey the rules, as failure to do so will
be swiftly punished by the monks."

Jacob sighed in resignation.

"Anyway, I’m here to check up on you; to see how you are progressing."

"Well, you chose a fine moment! Do you need to be physically here to
check on me? Can’t you read my thoughts or something?"

"Yes, I can Jacob, but it is less disturbing for you if we converse in
a normal manner. I know that you have taken well to your study of the
scriptures, but you still have a lot of questions?"

"Well, yeah! Like, why do I need to study the scriptures? Can’t you
just plant them in my brain?"

"I could, but that is against our rules. You have to make this choice
of your own free will; I am not allowed to meddle directly with your brain in
any way. It is important that you acquire the knowledge on your own."

"So how long will it take then? This preparation I mean? When do I
become an angel?"

"It will take the rest of your life."

"Well, duh, but how long will that be?"

"That I do not know."

"You’re an angel! Don’t you know everything?!"

"I am not God, Jacob. Only God knows everything."

"Fine. So what happens if I die before I complete my preparations?
Can’t you prevent that somehow?"

"We will do what we can to prevent that, but you can continue your
preparations after your death, provided you did not commit suicide."

"And what if I did?"

"Then the deal is off, and you vanish."

Jacob shuddered. It seemed so ruthless!

"I thought you said that nothing I did could prevent me from becoming
an angel. Now you’re telling me that I would get punished for
committing suicide?"

"You would not be punished. But there are no short-cuts. You cannot
promote yourself into an angel by committing suicide."

"Destroying my soul is not punishment?"

"On the contrary, it is the natural order of things. When a living
thing dies, its soul, as you call it, disintegrates. It is only by an
extraordinary act of grace from God that the soul is preserved and is
given eternal life."

"Doesn’t that seem wrong to you? Why should certain individuals be
given eternal life while others are allowed to perish? And it’s not
even a reward for good behavior. Doesn’t that contradict the
scriptures?"

"God has created the universe in this way. We cannot change that. It
is the will of God."

"Ok, but which is the will of God? What you say, or what the
scriptures say?"

"You already know the answer to that."

"Then why make me study the scriptures? Why don’t you just tell me
what God’s will is, and get it over with?"

"It is also His will that we proceed as we are."

"This is pointless! How do you know His will anyway? Does He visit
you the way you visit me?"

"No. I have not met Him, nor have most of the other angels. The only
ones who have spoken with Him are the arch-angels."

Jacob was silent as he reflected on this. He felt bad for lashing out
at the angel; the angel was himself only a messenger!

"I’m sorry," he stammered. "I mean for attacking you like that. I
guess I got a little flustered by your sudden appearance."

"It’s of no consequence Jacob. It is important for you to question
these things. Only then can you arrive at your own decision."

"Oh, well I still want to do it. I mean, it’s not like I’ve got
anything better lined up!"

It seemed to Jacob that the angel smiled just briefly, before
disappearing.







The ship, still surrounded by its gas cloud, traveled through interstellar
space. It was completely invisible in all wave-lengths, as it absorbed all energy,
including any light rays that intersected its path. Only a very faint
infra-red signature would be noticeable, but it would require an
extraordinarily sensitive infrared detector to notice it. It steered
clear of any star systems in its path by making small adjustments to
its course. It’s destination was another gas cloud, in the next
galaxy over. It would take a million years or so to get there. But
there was no hurry. The gas cloud would still be there. And the
probe would get there in due course. As it traveled and absorbed and transmuted the surrounding gas, it grew steadily in size, until in a few thousand years, it would be exactly the same size as the original it was spawned from.



Jacob partially covered his bed pan with his body, hoping to shield it
from any prying eyes. But brother Elk noticed Jacob skulking down the
hallway, as soon as Jacob emerged from his room.

"What have you got there, brother Jacob?" he asked sarcastically.

"Nothing," stammered Jacob. "Just emptying my bed pan."

"Let me have a look!"

"What? Mind your own business," Jacob snapped.

"Oh? Have you got something to hide then?" brother Elk asked
delightedly.

"No, but I don’t see why I should let you look at my bed pan?!"

"Because if you don’t, I’ll tell on you anyway."

"Tell what?!"

"I know what you’ve been up to Jacob. These walls are not sound proof
you know!"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about!" Jacob said, as he hurried to
the exit door. But brother Elk was right on his heels.

"You’ve been touching yourself," he said, snickering.

"Shut up!" Jacob hissed, as he pushed open the door to the outside.

"It’s true. And if I tell on you, they’ll be quick to put you out of
the monastery."

Jacob stopped abruptly, almost causing brother Elk to bump into him.

"Is that what you want, you miserable idiot?" Jacob’s pent-up
frustrations with the monk lifestyle, and his dislike of brother Elk
broke through his shield of calm like egg yolk through a shattered
shell.

"I don’t care for you a bit, brother Jacob," brother Elk said coldly.
"I wouldn’t mind to see you go. Maybe they’ll give me your rations."

Jacob struck brother Elk in the face with the full force of his fist.
He felt like he had just buried his hand wrist deep in a rotten plum!
The bed pan, with its incriminating contents, spilled onto the ground.
And brother Elk shrieked like a baby, as he fell to the ground,
bleeding from his nose.

Jacob instantly regretted loosing his temper, but it was of course too
late. After the obligatory conversation with the head monk, he agreed
that punishment was in order, both for breaking his vow of celibacy,
and for fighting. He was confined to his room for a month, with only
one meal a day and a glass of water shoved under his door. He would
emerge only after curfew to empty his bed pan and go to the out house.
Fortunately this meant that he did not have to speak to brother Elk,
or any of the other monks for a month. He was just beginning to enjoy
the peace of it, when the angel appeared again.

"How are you, Jacob?"

Jacob looked up, too weak to show much surprise.

"I’m doing great, as you can tell. I’m having serious doubts about my
career choice!"

"Well, you made a mistake, and now you are paying for it. But you
will emerge both stronger and wiser from this."

"O great! Just what I need; another lecture."

"Don’t despair Jacob, I’m not here to lecture you. I have good news!"

"Oh?"

"The council is impressed by your progress. That’s why they sent me;
to encourage you to continue on this path."

Jacob couldn’t help but laugh.

"You must be joking! Your council considers this progress? What’s
next? A life sentence in jail? That should just about qualify me for
angelhood, no?"

"Not to worry, Jacob, your recent troubles are trivial. The important
thing is that you have stayed the course."

"Well, I’m glad somebody appreciates that! But how much longer? And
what do I have to do next?"

"Unfortunately I do not have those answers. But please take heart in
the knowledge that you are progressing well."

Jacob reclined onto his cot with a deep sigh.

"You’re not helping! I don’t feel encouraged at all."

"Perhaps a little history will make you feel better?"

"Sure, why not? It can hardly be more boring than this!"

"Very well. I became an angel about a thousand years ago. It was
shortly after the ninth great war."

"The ninth?! I thought there had been only two?"

"That’s one of the reasons for having angels, Jacob. We get to
survive these conflagrations that seem to engulf mankind from time to
time."

"You mean "wipe out" mankind from time to time?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

"So what happens? God just creates us again and again? Doesn’t that
seem a bit futile? You would think he would have learned his lesson
after the first nine times!"

"Well, yes, but he doesn’t have much choice. What else would he do?"

"I don’t know; he’s God, he can do anything."

Jacob was genuinely puzzled by the angel’s statement however. To imply
that God had no choice seemed to limit his powers; yet if he truly was
free to do anything, what would he do? And if he weren’t somehow
compelled to create humanity, why would he do it even once? Let alone
ten times?

"Excellent Jacob, you are catching on fast. Now, each time he changes
the parameters slightly of course, in the hope that somehow mankind
will avoid another annihilation."

"Is it always our fault? What about natural disasters like super
volcanoes, or asteroids or comets striking the earth?"

"He takes care of those."

"What do you mean ’takes care of’? Isn’t our geological history
replete with such events?"

"Yes, but not our recent history. Each time he re-starts time from
the point of human evolution, which occurs well after the last major
extinction event."

"ok, fine, so what ’parameters’ does he change? Wouldn’t making us
less war-like suffice?"

"It’s not that simple Jacob. If it were, the solution would have been
found already."

"The solution? But how can any problem elude God?"

"Even omnipotence cannot conjure up a solution without experiment!
The solution space has to be searched."

"But why not search it all at once? Why limit the search to this
painful sequential process?"

"It may well be happening all at once, but of course we would not be
aware of that fact!"

"We? I thought as angels you were privy to some insider information?"

"Of course I am, but even we angels don’t get to know everything. If
we did, there would be nothing separating us from God, would there?"

"No, I suppose not. Fine, so as far as we know we’re just one of an
infinite number of experiments. So what parameters are tweaked? And
why are we still so fierce as a species?"

"Because a meek species doesn’t survive very long Jacob. It is
quickly overwhelmed by a more virulent and destructive competitor.
The nature of evolution is such that if such a competitor does not
exist, it soon evolves! A meek species leaves the door wide open for
a more aggressive opportunist. So it’s own progeny soon evolve to be
more aggressive and slaughter their meeker contemporaries."

"By that argument the problem is unsolvable. A more aggressive
species always dominates, and eventually annihilates itself."

"Perhaps, but that is not a necessary conclusion. There may be a
solution in which the species is balanced enough between aggressiveness
and self-preservation so as to save itself from that fate."

"Right, but such a solution has not been found in at least ten tries! Anyway,
so what parameters DO get changed then?"

"Aggressiveness is certainly one of them. Altruism is another. There
are many other candidates, including genes that control frontal cortex
development, motor development and vision (more accurate individuals
are more effective warriors, but also more effective hunters!) and so
on. Basically any trait is up for evaluation."

"But since the solution is not known, wouldn’t it make more sense to
randomly tweak the genes each time? Especially if you are running an
infinite number of experiments in parallel!"

"Excellent Jacob! That is indeed the natural conclusion. And so it
seems to be the case here. Each experiment differs only in one or two
mutations from the other. Many experiments fail early on, before
humans develop consciousness or language. Very few make it into the
latter stages of civilization, and none have lasted much beyond space
faring."

"So there have been more than seven? The last two great wars clearly
did not wipe us out, and perhaps not all of the other seven did
either. But still, it sounds like this instance of earth has already
run several hundreds or even thousands of experiments?"

"Yes. Perhaps more. We tend to lose track of the ones that fail
quickly. We remember only the spectacular failures."

"Isn’t it conceivable that even with the same genes but a different
sequence of events, humanity would survive though? In other words, is
it fair to abandon the genes every time there is a failure?"

"Perhaps not, but the other experiments may be correcting for that.
In any case, the sequence of events is unpredictable, and therefore
cannot be controlled."

"You mean we have ’free will’ after all."

"We do. Even angels do, although we are not limited by the same
genetic program that informs human actions."

"I see. So what role exactly do angels play in all of this?"

"We are like referees. We’re on your side; we want the experiment to
succeed, not fail. So we try to influence people here or there, but
often we are simply shut out. They ignore us; pretend we don’t exist.
And we are prevented from acting directly to interfere with human
actions. So we are doomed to watch humanity fail."

"How terrible. And you want me to sign up for this job?"

"It’s not much worse than watching your children grow up to be
failures."

"I suppose. And there is always the possibility that magically they
will succeed this time around, right?"

"Right."

"Well, this is all very strange, but it does help to take my mind off
my recent bout of aggressiveness. At least I know who to blame now."

"You have only yourself to blame for your actions Jacob. Remember you
still have free will."

"Yes, but that is statistically meaningless isn’t it? I can’t turn
myself into a pumpkin either!"

"No, you can’t. But you have a wide enough range of available
behaviors that allow you to walk away from nearly any conceivable
confrontation without having to resort to violence. Especially in
your current environment."

"Ah, so this is a lecture after all?"

"Not so. Good night Jacob!"

And with that, the angel disappeared, leaving Jacob alone with his
thoughts once again.



The ship had reached its destination, a large gas cloud, not yet dense enough to trigger a lot of star formation. As it reached the centroid of the cloud, without slowing down, the ship blew off its shell, releasing thousands of smaller replicas that altered their trajectories slightly, in the right sequence, so as to disperse within the cloud. Each one was no bigger than a small asteroid, but would over the years accumulate enough mass from the gas to increase its size a thousand fold. Most of that mass would be used to build thousands of replicas of itself. Inside each one, ultra-powerful quantum computers kept at extremely low temperatures were running continuous simulations of Earth.

Inside one of those simulations, Jacob was floating in space alongside the angel Mitrael who had guided him during his life.

“So, Melahel, now you know everything that I know,” he said to Jacob, addressing him by his new angelic name.

“Yes, thank you for your guidance and your patience. I am grateful and honored to be a part of this grand experiment.”

And with that he vanished, appearing instantly in another simulation, where Earth was just emerging from the deep freeze of the last ice age, and mankind was about to take its first baby steps towards civilization and enlightenment.