Shikwa: My Eid wish...

Shikwa: My Eid wish...

Janab Qibla Allah MiaN:

Baad salam kai arz hai , hum sub khairiat sai haiN..pur I am sure you can see that...kyoN kai:

jehaN tairi yeh nazar hai
mairi jaaN mujhay khabar hai

Ji ji!… bilkul… aap ko bhi Eid Mubarak ho! Now I know you are kind of amused that I didn’t fast for a single day and yet I am still here for the Eid wish. You see I know a loophole. I am going to give money to feed a bhooka for a full month in Pakistan and I can get away with not fasting. Yaar Allah Mian it’s not like I didn’t want to pur right around 11 am my sugar level drops to a mere 33 and I really need some carbs.

Khair, let’s not beat about the bush. Let me come straight to why I am here.
I know I have asked for numerous things in life before. And every year during exam times I have made your life miserable -- asking for first divisions, A grades , no supply, then just 75th percentile etc.--but those days are now over...I know I did repeatedly ask you for different men to marry me at different stages of my life....saying Allah MiaN bus us ki AmmaN razi ho jayay eik duffa phir shadi kai baad bhuddi ko maiN sumujh looN gi etc. etc. --I wont bother you with those too...

I am here for just one wish. Just one wish for me, my loved ones and my fellow Pakistanis and my fellow human beings.

I just ask and pray for health for everyone. Good health. Oh..but you say maango jo maangna hai...Okay I ask for great health. I want every child to grow up healthy: Motoo and Gol Matol. I want women not to die during child delivery. I want every kid to have both his parents around. I want old people not to have strokes and spent their last days just feeling, seeing and unable to do anything else.

I know I know you are sitting there....stroking your beard in which you just recently put Sultana Mehndi and the reddish tinge is very becoming I must say...and thinking....since when did this dame become so bloody noble ? It was always…Allah MiaN...this job, that job , this laRka , that laRka, this exam , that exam ... yeh dunya bhar ki health kehaN sai aa gaee...

You see I am watching Prime TV a lot these days. Its only $19.99 per month and it brings me closer to home. And they are emotionally black mailing us through all these charities which show 4 year old kids suffering, women on dialysis, sick kids saying they want to become airline pilots...and then I see Abrar ul Haq , Imran Khan asking for donations for their hospitals...and my heart has started to think outside the box. I don’t want to feel guilty for being healthy. Now I know I have few posheeda Umraaz which only you know about but that’s okay no big deal.

So on this eid, for my eidi...give the gift of health to every lullo punjoo majha sajah...basheeraN hanifaaN dubboo khur Painch...

What do you say ? By the way if you use Laureal’s shimmering multifaceted hair color...that could do wonders too...

Sincerely,

Rakapo$h.


Jawab-e-shikwa


Noor-e-chasmi Rakaposh sullamahoo:

Let me first correct you about Sultana Mehndi…bad stuff...no can do...I only use Jamila Mehndi. It is not only buy one get one free it is also fade resistant. I usually send Israfeel to do my groceries. ( Please note : I don’t abuse my powers ).

Now coming to your request...hmm.....

Do you even have the faintest idea what would happen if I don’t take lives for even one hour ? There are going to be more people in Idaho then potatoes. If I don’t drown a ferry every now and then in Bangladesh, the moslees are going to be eating the people rather then vice versa... and its not like I like doing all that....I am forced to. The other day I heard a woman saying...Mairi AmmaN kai bara bachchay thay...maiN bhi bara hi karooN gi... , now you see there is not enough space on earth but there is a lot up here...khali plots hi khali plots....all west open...hur plot corner plot...so I am getting most of the crowd up here. They are happy . They are not complaining ...tau fir tum ko kia lupHra hai... ( did you see my indian touch there...wink wink...)..

ab chalo phooto...

aur haaN...

namaz purho...is sai pehlay kai tumhari namaz parhai jayay... (grins...and the gold tooth sends a sparkle )

later....