How I Deal With Unflinching Idealism

Came across this forum a few weeks ago and went through some Kubler Rossian type (though not exactly) stages that others newly discovering this site may have experienced.

My initial reaction was cautious optimism.

Was it possible? A progressive, dynamic, upwardly mobile group of MY people? Free from prejudice, petty preconceptions and bigotry, flying in the face of dogma, bent on shattering the zeitgeist and forging bonds across borders?

Where had I been? I felt like jumping up, hand raised, “Me too, take me with you, I want to join, be a part of what you’re doing!” Don’t these thoughts often assail us when we look to belong and forge links with those who might be like us?

However, is it always so Utopian? The cautious optimism was rearing its head.

First came ‘caution’ and the less pleasant surprise: Racial slurs, references to anal sex, sneering cynicism, spite, mean-spirited and hateful putdowns.

Diseased souls unwilling to tolerate high aspirations or positive and constructive thought, recoiling and lashing out at anyone trying to make a difference. This was how a lot of the world was, so why should this be any different?

It shouldn’t have been a “surprise” really; I guess it’s that naiveté that you’re aware of as a character flaw but the awareness doesn’t do much to change. Like almost everyone else I tend to view life as I’d like it to be not as it really is. This was ‘optimism’ at play.

Maybe it is not so much a surprise then but rather disappointment that something with obvious potential and promise and populated by such a sincere community has been infested by lowlife mouth-breathers.

I was getting a closer look. And my reaction was following a pattern. Caution again. Pissed-offness was the next stage. Surely there are enough Neonazi/fundamentalist/Ku-Klux-Klan type/ Hindu, Muslim, Indo, Pak, whateversupremacist groups out there for bottom-feeders to gravitate towards? Why do they have to hang around here with MY people? Can’t they leave anything untainted?

Then came acceptance and gaining inspiration from some of the great writers here, a conscious return to optimism.

After all, this platform exists. What great things could be achieved by lifting ourselves above the squalor. Standing together, who knows where this could take us, we could be a source of support for other members, learn from each other’s experiences. After all, we do share common backgrounds, similar value systems in a broad sense, have been exposed to similar influences growing up. Possible, isn’t it, that we might do something here that we can look back on with pride and satisfaction from our geriatric care facility beds?

Equally possible though is that all we’ll remember from this time is that we could not find it within ourselves to rise above small-mindedness and superficiality.

The problem of course being that grandiose thoughts and altruistic impulses don’t mean squat if not translated into some sort of action

Personally, I wish I had some answers; it’s suspect that what I’m doing or have done so far is anything I can boast about. Maybe someone who has it more together out there can help me out. Surely it’s not normal to have come a full circle and feel as clueless in my late 30’s as I did in high school?

With professional goals met, what keeps one moving forward? When I was in Med school, it used to be a partly serious-partly in jest cliché that our motivation was to come back and get involved in “mulk-o-kaum ki khidmet”. Years later, trying to live “the American dream” (more or less) while at the same time making feeble, self-conscious attempts to reach for a higher purpose seemed obviously the height of hypocrisy.

Chuck it all and go back? Call me materialistic, call me lacking in the courage of my convictions, but the truth is I don’t see myself back in the beat-up old Mazda with the “push” bumper sticker, or huddled in front of a gas heater on a cold winter’s night. I really LIKE the boxter and heated swimming pool, y’know. Worked my ass off for them too! I may be restless and unfulfilled but I’m restless and unfulfilled while being able to go 0-60mph in 5.4 seconds!

I’d like to think that what some of you veterans are doing here is looking for solutions to somewhat similar quasi-existential crap and are actually doing something about it or trying to – and this is a microcosm of society.

Maybe it’s just a Peter Pan complex and I need to get over myself and grow up or maybe it’s something that’s worth continuing to work on.

However pretentious it may sound, when all is said and done, I do believe that it’s so much better to keep idealism alive as opposed to allowing bitterness and cynicism to define and defile our outlook.