Thanking and Complaining-

A young man, feeble and drained walked up to our car and begged for food. We had gone out for a family outing, enjoying and laughing all the way. Content as I would like to say I am, I still was upset and perturbed about how things in my life were going about. I did not know how to handle my troubles, which I realized were not any troubles at all.

I have it all by the grace of Allah, a happy family, a warm bed, all my favorite food to eat, loving friends, all that a normal human would need to survive in this big bad world. Then, why did I feel like crying my heart out before leaving the house? Why did I feel like breaking all boundaries set by my surroundings? Why was it that I wanted to break free of all inhibitions? Was not I getting all anyone would want? I was. Even then, I wanted out. Out from what I wonder now?

I am forced to think as I write; the sight of the poor hungry people has always affected me but never to the extent of writing about it. I do not think I can write well or express what I feel in words, but right now, I can think of nothing else to do. What I saw on that man’s face was heart wrenching, people living in the sub-continent will relate well to this, for there are countless such sights all around us.

He was walking slowly, that young man, probably tired of begging or working all day, he did not say anything, just took his hand and pointed to his mouth; indicating that he wanted food. The despair in his eyes was clear, though his eyes were dull and clouded with bleakness. My father ordered some food for him. He sat down on the footpath; not showing any fervor or an indication that he now would be fed. When his food got late in coming he got up; as slowly as ever; and went to the edge of the café. There were no emotions visible on his face, just that he was pointing again to his mouth now, silently looking over the glass to see when his food would arrive.

Finally, when the food arrived, he took his plate and went to a corner, his face void of expressions, his eyes as dull as ever. He took his chappals off and sat down, crossing his feet, ready to eat. He did not turn back and look at us. We left then.

I realized how different my world was from his. For all I know he could be a junkie or someone numb on drugs. Nevertheless, he made me think, he did not have a warm bed to sleep in at night; I did, nor did he have parents to hug him when he was sad; I did. I am sure he had never seen the love of his family, or ever had a secure relationship, his body language was that of an insecure person, and he had no friends to turn to ever to share his misery or to joke around with. He would have easily drooled at the broccoli that we refuse to eat or the warm veggies mom cooks and I make faces at, for he probably has hardly ever had food cooked by his mom’s hands. I am sure he would not have scowled at his mom, if he ever got a chance just because she wanted to call to check if I was all right or peeped in when I was with my friends to ask if we wanted anything. We take so much of our lives for granted, we expect to be loved and cared for, while that young man probably had to fight for people to even look at him.

I have a God, who tests me and checks to see if I believe in Him or not, if I turn to Him when I am upset or not, if I accuse Him of being unfair when I am hurt or do I quietly ask Him for His support and love to get me through. I have, in my 20 years seen many a men and women hungry and in rags, a common sight in my country and I had what I thought my share of ‘problems’ and ‘worries’ but never before had it touched me to the point of crying. Crying not because I saw someone who was less lucky in life than I was, but crying because my Allah had given me so much and I had taken it for granted, wanting more and better of everything always. Our Lord tests some of us by giving them wealth and some He tests by taking it away. Now, I know that I am here, in this world to submit myself to what I have, look at the blessings He gave me and overlook my unfulfilled desires as wishes to be fulfilled in the Hereafter.