It is Never OK to Hit a Woman

Is it Never OK to hit a Woman?

Well according to Chris Rock (American comedian) if she is nagging then at some point you should be able to smack some sense in to her. On a serious note does Islam and Quran permit us to physically harm our wives? If it does then I certainly missed it in my reading. What I did find were numerous verses in Quran and Ahadith (sayings attributed to the prophet PBUH) that instruct men to take care of their wife, be good to her, be kind to her, give her security and protection, fulfill her needs to the best of ones capacity, guarantee her Mehr (dowry gift), be compassionate and kind to her parents and when needed take care of them in their old age.

The confusion comes when some vested interests do absurd and incorrect translations of a specific verse of the Quran. Allah SWT says in Quran (I will write the Arabic verse in Roman and then will attempt to explain the intention of the verse).

"Alrrijalu qawwamoona AAala alnnisa-i bima faddala Allahu baAAdahum AAala baAAdin wabima anfaqoo min amwalihim faalssalihatu qanitatun hafithatun lilghaybi bima hafitha Allahu waallatee takhafoona nushoozahunna faAAithoohunna waohjuroohunna fee almadajiAAi waidriboohunna fa-in ataAAnakum fala tabghoo AAalayhinna sabeelan inna Allaha kana AAaliyyan kabeeran"

Translation is:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc.). Regarding the woman who is guilty of lewd, or indecent behavior, admonish her (if she continues in this indecency then), stop sharing her bed (if she still continues doing this lewd behavior, then), [set forth for her the clear meaning of either straighten up or else we are finished and when she returns to proper behavior take up sharing the bed with her again], but if she returns in obedience (to proper behavior and conduct) then seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great

Here I will quote the good Sheikh Yusuf Estes who gives an excellent elucidation of this verse, he says :

"The operative word in this verse in Arabic is "daraba." While there are literally hundreds of uses for this word varying from "tap" to "walk in stride" to "strike at something" to "set a clear example", the only meaning that can be assigned to something in the Quran must be according to the rules of Quran. And Allah has used the same word a number of times with a consistent meaning. Let us examine them.

Here is what we find from the scholars of the Arabic language:
Daraba (to have intercourse, not to beat)

Raghib points out that daraba metaphorically means to have intercourse, and quotes the _expression darab al-fahl an-naqah, ’the stud camel covered the she-camel,’ which is also quoted by Lisan al-’Arab. It cannot be taken here to mean ’to strike them (women).’ This view is strengthened by the Prophet’s authentic hadith found in a number of authorities, including Bukhari and Muslim: "Could any of you beat your wife as he would a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?" There are other traditions in Abu Da’ud, Nasa’i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad bin Hanbal and others, to the effect that he forbade the beating of any woman, saying: "Never beat God’s handmaidens."

Source: al-Qur’an: a contemporary translation by Ahmed Ali, Princeton University Press, 1988; pp78-79

Daraba (to set forth, to make a clear statement or proclamation)

One of the key rules of understanding words of the Quran is to go to other places in the Quran to investigate the usage in other places. This word is used by Allah in other places in the Quran to mean "set forth" or "sets up for you" or "makes known to you" - as is demonstrated in the following verses:

Surah Ar-Ra’d (13:17) yadribu Allahu al-amthala "Thus Allah sets forth a parable"
[here the word "yadirbu" is from the exact same root da-ra-ba]

Surah Ibrahim (14:24): Alam tara kayfa daraba Allahu mathalan .. "Don’t you see how Allah sets forth a parable?.."

And again in the next verse: Surah Ibrahim (14:25) wa yadribu Allahu al-amthala li-naasi

"..and Allah sets forth parables for mankind.."
[again the word yadirbu is from da-ra-ba]
Surah An-Nur (24:35) wa yadribu Allahu al0amthala lin-naasi
"And Allah sets forth parables for mankind.."
Surah Ar-Rum (30:28) Daraba lakum mathalan min anfusikum
"He sets forth for you a parable from yourselves.."
Surah At-Tahreem (66:10) Daraba Allahu mathalan lillatheena kafaroo..
"Allah sets forth an example for those disbelievers.."
In fact, the word daraba has not been translated to mean (beat) or (hit) or (strike) in any other verse of the Quran except this one.

The words for (beat) as in [to hit] is yatakhabbatuhu which is found in Surah Baqarah 2:275 ... kama yaqoomu allathee yatakhabbatuhu ash-shaytanu mina almassi..

"..like the standing of someone beaten by the devil (Satan) leading him to insanity."

And in Surah Ta Ha 20:18 Allah Says, "Qala hiya Aasaya atawakkao Aalayha waahushshu biha Aala ghanamee waliya feeha maaribu okhra."

"This is my stick, whereon I lean, and wherewith I beat down branches for my sheep and wherein I find other uses."

As you can see, these are not even related to the word (daraba)."

What I find interesting is that both our “MULLAHS” and the “ENLIGHTENED-ONE’S” are extremists in their views, hence completely ignore the vast majority of people who operate somewhere between locking the woman up in a wooden box (she is usually taken out whenever the food runs out) - and encouraging the women to choose the career of strip- dancers in the neighborhood bar. Hypocrisy is evident on both sides. MMA Mullah’s proudly parade their daughters and their wives as MNA’s while in some of their constituencies women are killed for casting a vote and not a whimper comes out from these Soldiers of Allah. On the other hand we have these “ART-ADMIRERS” who can be found gawking in the front-rows, enjoying a smashing “ART” performance by Meera, however will they ever marry their sons and daughters in the “ART” families? I’ll let you be the judge of that. It’s quite OK for sisters and daughters of other people dancing for their entertainment, would they encourage women from their own homes to join this “NOBLE” profession? They will give you lectures on how pre-marital sex is the answer to all ill’s in Pakistan, however I doubt that the same people would be too HOT to see their own sisters or daughters in a “Relationship”. Don’t be a hypocrite, if you are “ENLIGHTENED” then go on and share it with your family members as well.

See I feel like “LIBERALS” in Pakistani society are suffering from this identity-crisis. They want to wear daisy-dukes and enjoy a little cocktail but at the same time they want to be considered as the most pious Muslims as well, I am sorry but it’s either or. They want to mimic the worst-of-West in everything, but they get annoyed when you state the obvious, which is you are mimicking the West. See they should be proud of the fact that they can’t be bogged down with the ridiculous burqa or the Hijab, they should be proud of their mini-skirts and deep-necklines. Rather they get defensive and try to insist that just because they are brave and talented enough to wear revealing out-fits (is it really that hard? I mean I have been naked before, it’s really not all that hard to take off your clothes!), it doesn’t mean they are any less Muslims. Let me be the first to profess here that it’s not my place to decide who is a better Muslim. But I do have common sense and I can read so I kind of know what Quran and Hadith has said about how to be a good Muslim, I might have missed it but I don’t think shaking your bootilicious like it was nobody’s business, was listed as a pre-requisite. I could care less what or don’t you wear or how do you go about your life. I do have a problem you telling me that it’s quite OK and actually recommended islamically for women to show their cleavage. I have a problem when sheema kirmani and Asma Jehangir tries to become the scholars of Islamic jurisprudence. Please enlighten us with the nitty-gritty of kathak dancing and how there are flaws in the Pakistani-court systems, I will be all ears but when you callously start issuing “fatwas” about what Quran does and doesn’t say then I get a little annoyed. Because you see your understanding of Quran is limited to the information provided on Daniel Pipe’s website, I am sorry to disappoint you but there are PHD’s offered in just one aspect of Quran, so I don’t think you’ll get all of that WISDOM just by reading a paper-back book written by a hater.

I personally believe that it’s counter-productive to force morality on people. If you want your society to adhere to Islamic principles then that process needs to start at the grass-root level. The approach should be bottom-up rather than the other way around. You can make all the laws in the world but if your populous is not convinced that it’s some how good for them then they’ll find a work-around. My point is that if you want an Islamic society you would have to change the hearts of people by explaining their religion to them in a polite & logical manner. Muslim scholars should count their blessings that True Islam is logical and anyone with an open-mind can see the wisdom, if you think it’s hard to bring people back to Islam try explaining an elephant-GOD.

These scary looking, foaming at their mouths, condescending mullahs are doing more harm than good. We need polite, humble and eloquent scholars like Jawed Ahmed Ghamidi, Jawed Ahmed, Maulana Tariq Jameel (Disclaimer: I don’t subscribe to each and every thing these fine gentlemen have to say, but I do believe overall they are nice blokes) and others of their ilk to be the spoke-person for Islam. Islam gets a very bad rep. because of the stupidity of its followers, which in my opinion is unfair. That inanity is in full swing at both extremes.

It is none of my business as an individual as to what someone else is wearing, eating or drinking. However it becomes my business when you deface my religion with your absurdities. I could care less if you are a homosexual, you can have sex with a chicken for all I care, but if you some how try to justify your fetishes Islamically, then I am sorry but I will call your bluff. I think it’s equally deplorable to use violence against anyone just because they don’t agree with your point of view. We should have an open society where issues should be discussed.

Lewdness should be discouraged but thru reason not by force, because anything that’s forced upon is usually not long-lasting. It’s a cliché but at the end of the day it really depends upon what you believe in. See we know a lot of things but we are only serious about things that we believe in. If you believe that there is life after this worldly life and it just might be the kind that our Prophet (PBUH) has said it will be, then it’s rather stupid if you don’t play by the rules. Humans are inclined to commit sins, that is expected of us. However if we are humble then Allah SWT says that if an individual’s sins are stacked up from the ground till the highest of heavens and he/she asks me to forgive him/her sincerely, then I will wipe off his slate clean like he was a new-born (provided that he is a monotheist). All the mockers are duly warned.