Traumas Tattoos and Teenage

I once read a line by Jessamyn West that “At fourteen you don't need sickness or death for tragedy.” Much has been written on the dilemmas of teenagers, but the real mystery involved in the life of a teenager always remains unsolved. Once out of that stage, people find it hard to look back and see their own reflections in other adolescent faces. Considerate ‘grownups’ are as rare as good politicians, and the problems of teenagers are larger than those of any nation.

Since laws of human nature are universal, so the basic teenage fantasies and problems remain the same throughout the globe, with slight differences of course. Major teenage issues are psychological. The foremost being an excessive uncertainty and ambiguity about their place in life. Teenagers are children no more and neither can they be categorized as adults. The adult world seems fascinating and dominating. Standing on the threshold of real practical life is perhaps the most difficult thing to manage. Especially when all one seems to have is a baggage of advice too heavy to carry on the road of desires. A teenager cannot take the advice of an adult because they are quite alien in their world. And the contemporaries are as baffled as one’s own self. Sixteen years old Amail replied to one of my questions by saying that: “I want to do what is ‘right’, but my ‘right’ and the ‘right’ of my mother are so not the same.” She made this statement about the peculiar incident of buying a new suit for her friend’s party.

Related to this doubt about one’s place in the scheme of things, is the teenage slogan; ‘no one understands me’. For pre-adolescents and teens, an identity crisis, the perils of peer interaction, acceptance and rejection of—situations, persons and ideas—are a constant source of teen stress and teenage depression. "Where do I stand?" and "How do I compare to others?" are key concerns for this age group. Choices about smoking, drugs and obligations, along with fears about violence, are common stressors .In teenage, a person explores the strange pattern of desires for the first time. The childish wistfulness gives way to obsessions and cravings. A teenager is acutely aware, rather overburdened, by the moral side of things. An awakening about one’s physical sense is quite a harassing thing for a teenager, especially in Eastern countries like Pakistan. Through international entertainment channels, internet and other tech sources, a teenager in today’s global village is much more frustrated than that of yesterday. Commercial movies show intimate boy girl relationship scenes, teacher student affairs and acceptance of teenage follies by parents at the end. The fantasies thus spawned come into a direct contrast with the socio religious norms. Ahmad Mahmood, a first year student of medical was amazed by the apathy shown by adults. “I can’t understand why cant people shun the idea of a girl friend even in this advanced age. Wherever you, whoever you meet, people treat you as heretics. Why is everyone so pretentious?”
Since adults are relentless, thus the teenagers usually stop trying to find a middle ground and tilt towards rebellion. “I realized long ago that Mama and Papa are not going to listen to me anyway,” philosophized fourteen years old Anaiz, “so I started doing whatever I pleased, regardless of what they think.” Most parents are in the habit of thinking that admonishing is the panacea of all ills. Constant reminders and reprimands harden the arrogant and naturally obdurate youth. Mrs. Ishaq shared her experience of handling two teenage sons. “I just had one rule with them—I never went into the religious implications of any act. The more I talk about religion and obligation, the more rebellious they grew. I talked of the moral issues as something that might be interesting to act upon, and it worked.” Perhaps with teenagers, pressurizing in any way can easily go against the parents. At this stage of life, nurturing the ego is as important as the light of the day. Even when the adolescents are not being admonished, they may ‘feel bad’ about one small thing or another. There are times when teenagers can even scrub floors, and there are times when picking up a wet towel can hurt their self esteem. Mr. Ali Hameedi, while talking about his teenage son, told me that he is always conscious about not damaging his son’s ego. “Still there are moments when he gets angry even at a wink.”

A perfect social life is the greatest mystery, expounded by all teenagers but never fully understood. Somehow a teenager usually holds the opinion that life is useless without money. And every one has hoards of money except him. For a typical Pakistani teenager, the best that life has to offer is usually found in United States or United Kingdom. Or if the he has patriotic tendencies, then he dreams to acquire virtually impossible amounts of money in his homeland. Possession of the latest computer, cell phone and a vehicle (bike in case of boys and car in case of girls), is not longer a luxury but a bare necessity of civilized life. Sixteen years old Komal Masood literally jumped from her chair when I mentioned that she should be grateful to her parents. “Whatever for?” she ejaculated, “Giving me food, clothes and education? It’s their duty. Besides this, when was the last time I bought a respectable labeled wear?”

It is common for teens to feel unhappy from time to time. However, a teenager may be suffering from clinical depression. According to the Ohio State University research, if it is noticed that he or she experiences five or more of the following thoughts, feelings and behaviors for two weeks or longer, then they should get serious professional help.

* Crying, sadness or a very cranky mood
* Withdrawing (avoiding friends, activities and social events)
* Sleeping problems
* Eating problems
* Declining schoolwork
* Nervous energy or a lack of energy
* Sense of low self-worth or guilt
* Fatigue
* Preoccupation with death, dying, or wanting to be dead.

Teenage with financial handicaps can be a greater nuisance than imagined. In suburbs of Pakistan, the teenagers are growing up with a roaring frustration in their hearts. They are much more exposed to drugs, smoking and gambling than a middle class teenager would ever be. Added to that would be their misfortunate access to internet and other media resources.

What then could the million dollar solution of teenage traumas? The only possibility, declared by foreign psychologists, would be involvement of teenagers in creative activities. These activities should not at any cost be dull or didactic in nature. They should have an element of fun and excitement. Community service, reading clubs and adventure clubs etc can offer some elucidation of the teenage hyperactivity.