Holier Than Thou

Walking through the airport fully clad in a pair of jeans and a kurta I am yanked to the side by a horrified woman who quite diplomatically asks me: “What are you: a Jew, Christian or Hindu that you are dressed this way?” The shock having worn off; the question now arises as to what is being a good Muslim or rather who must view me so, so as to make me one?

In an age where the virtue of tolerance has been hyped up one sees very little of it in praxis with every other person making bold declarations as to who is worthy of being labeled a good Muslim or a Muslim at all, and who is not. Now it is possible that the root of these rather brazen judgments is simply the fact that others are 'oh so deeply concerned with our well-being in the after life' but being a cynic I can only smirk at such a view. While my father may wish for me to be sent to heaven I really cannot see how a woman I’ve never met standing in a queue with me outside a passport office can be so distressed at the thought of my life after death so as to demand to know why I haven’t enveloped myself in a burqa.

Her exact words were “Allah kehtay hain…” but her tone left a greater impact; it was that tone of, as Matilda’s father so often yelled after her in Roald Dahl’s famous book: ‘I’m right and you’re wrong, I’m big and you’re small and there’s nothing you can do about it’. As if she possessed the sole ownership to what Allah meant in the Koran she pounced on me in every sense of the word. Well He’s my God too lady was my response. The sad part though is that while I could have excused this remark as mere words coming from the mouth of an uneducated woman, I was on another occasion approached by a fellow student in my university mosque who pompously informed me that I’m not supposed to say my prayers with my arms uncovered. I suppose lack of education has to be distinguished from ignorance.

To further clarify things is it not me now playing the same game and declaring these two women to be utter fools in the way they follow the same religion. While both these women may be more than right, the fact is that they are wrong in publicly stating their beliefs with the intention of reforming me. For by saying so to me and possibly to other people they have incurred a very dangerous response. The law of the jungle stipulates that an assault by one animal upon another will cause the latter to step up its defense which is exactly what will happen in any such case where you are told that you aren’t in effect following Islam properly. Intolerance only breeds intolerance and the result is stereotypes that are rampant in our lingo today such as ‘mullah’, ‘fundo’, ‘ninja’ and so on. It all comes down then to a vicious cycle. Getting on the defensive is one reaction, not to mention forming negative associations and developing a sense of unease when it comes to performing religious activities in effect driving you away from the very things they were trying to bring you closer to. That their efforts are counter- productive they do not seem to understand.

Perhaps their own apprehension gets the better of them. It must be of great consolation to see others to be further steeped in the ‘wrong’ than you are. The joy must overwhelm them so that they are unable to control themselves and thus compelled to point out to you what they themselves view as obvious. Ha! Ha! You don’t cover your head while I do match point moi.

My opinion is that this intolerance can ultimately be traced back to a confusion of boundaries, a misunderstanding of the concept of intimacy. Our culture is such that we do not take into account just how intimate we are with others. The same way it is deemed reasonable for a mere acquaintance to scream in horror at the top of her lungs at a public gathering her shock at why your daughter of 28 is yet unmarried, it is deemed reasonable for another to express their disdain for how you practice your religion. But boundaries must be drawn, and lines must remain uncrossed if we are to be able to call ourselves civil. No it is far from okay, in fact how dare you say to me that Allah will not forgive such and such act on my part when I have not asked your opinion in the first place. Please unburden yourselves of this heavy load comprising of my spiritual salvation; it is not for you to bear.

In conclusion, therefore, a change in attitude is required. This mindset of getting a kick out of shaming others and rubbing their faces in mud for their supposed inappropriate interpretation of Islam must be eliminated. I assure them that they will survive if they hold their tongues and the enormous effort that will go into it will not go unappreciated.