An All-Inclusive Rejoinder to All the Chronic Complainers

It would be a timely endeavour to submit a blunt reply to all those obtuse detractors, dim-witted pseudo-intellectuals, cynical yellow journalists, et al, who have been displaying an unprecedented zeal for reproaching the defenders of our geographical and ideological frontiers since Oct 12, 1999. Therefore, this piece of writing is meant to be a forthright rejoinder to the whole host of editorials, the multitude of op-ed columns, a huge number of letters to the editor section, discussing the role of the military in Pakistan, churned out by the media outlets over the past three years.

Enough is enough.

At the end of the day, a single phrase would epitomize most of the dissertations under consideration: harangue -- irreverent in tone, whining in nature, melancholic in character and bemused in argumentation. Actually, all this merely verifies that Pakistanis in general are chronic complainers, forever unsatisfied, never at ease, and fully devoid of analytical skills.

Shamelessly, everyone – from proletarians to assorted scholars, from Bar Councils to political commentators of diverse hues and convictions – misinterprets the pious intentions of the khaki-clad messiahs. Obstinate bias towards the garrison must be the sole explanation. Otherwise, there are no justifiable reasons to be sceptical, let alone judgmental, above all after that heavily endorsing referendum. General Rashid Qureshi, the director-general ISPR, was not mistaken when he perceptively asserted that nowadays khaki bashing had become a saleable product and to frown upon army a fashion.

To be honest, it is heartbreaking to see the country’s entire intelligentsia going insane. Strange, when the countrymen should be very proud of their multi-task Army and ought to extend it “unstinted” submission; they murmur criticism. Abysmal that instead of being grateful for a vast array of services being delivered by their ubiquitous Army, they are unrewarding and despondent. No doubt, as General Musharraf once justly declared: you people deserve to be stifled ten times over!!

Reality on the ground speaks for itself. Yet, these disdainful critics are unable to see our great Army desilting canals, constructing roads and bridges, checking electric meters, surveying and documenting the economy. The same prejudiced “non-silent minority” further demeans itself by not conferring due credit on their uniformed saviours for manning monitoring teams, herding turncoats together, assisting law-enforcement authorities to coerce dissenting elements, and not the least dictating verdicts of the superior courts on constitutional petitions.

One wonders, is it really that difficult to recognise that only in your and country’s larger interests, the agencies are regulating political activities, manufacturing competent leaders and discarding those who have drifted astray, keeping a vigilant eye on every worth-mentioning personality in the country, directing even tehsil level politicians and operating a gigantic apparatus for political intelligence? Look around, is there any other army, anywhere in the world, that tailors democracy, formulates devolution plans [and then impedes the functioning of its own creation] like yours?

Goofs, just to make your choice easier they don’t let you choose and hold all policy-making and governing seats for themselves. What more can you ask for, unthankful creatures? Is it fair and rational to be apprehensive despite witnessing the legendary steadfastness of our grand martial leaders, time and again? Have they ever let you down, may it be disciplining of unruly Bengalis, handling of recalcitrant peasants demanding their rights, hanging/exiling of elected Prime Ministers or contriving desired election results?

Apparently, you cannot sift fact from fiction. For instance, it took more than a quarter of century for civilians to devise a constitution acceptable to all political, regional and social factions. A dexterous General “amended” it apart and straightened the “chain of command” in less than two and half hours of press conference. See, cumbersome constitutional intricacies rendered superfluous, a revolutionary, wide-ranging, irreversible Legal Framework Order put in place, and the apex court relieved of constitutional wrangling – in one stroke. Can civilians deliver the organizational skills and result-oriented knack of this class?

We have to get a few basics straight. There is absolutely nothing amiss either with the moral fibre of the Army command or with its selection and training. Don’t be flippant. It doesn’t take a war course at the famous Staff College to figure out that the question of legality and illegality is a non-issue in practical terms, as long as occupants are well-entrenched with ample firepower to keep the opponents at bay. Simple arithmetic, where bullet prevails over ballot by default and/or when you are assured of the Supreme Court’s favourite “doctrine of necessity”, resisting the intoxicating allure of the top-slot, is indeed next to impossible. Thus, given the set of temptations, it is unfair to blame the generals for “reluctantly” falling prey to the circumstances every now and then. Generals in Pakistan don’t grab the power; power comes to the generals.

Furthermore, hullabaloo on the subject of that overvalued irritant known as democracy and so-called “level field”, necessitates some clearing up. In Western parliamentary system of government, elected representatives run the show; in tailored democracy Pakistani style, selected generals decide the fate of the nation. What is the difference besides intrinsic “continuity” in the latter mode? Apropos “level field”, what do you people harp on? Is it possible to level the field even more? Please, be realistic. Institutions, or traces left of them, have already been meticulously levelled, the Constitution flattened beyond recognition, judiciary squeezed to the last drop; what more can be done in this regard?

Fortunately, there are some hard facts that cannot be refuted. None of our egalitarian military leaders has hitherto ruled the roost longer than 12 years – in stark contrast to analogous “continuity providers” like Saddam Hussein, Muammar al-Qaddafi, Kim Il Sung of North Korea, Daniel Moi of Kenya and so forth. Let’s get things in perspective. Compared to Khmer Rouge demagogue Pol Pot or the Communist dictator Nicolae Ceausescu of Romania, our generals appear impeccable democrats, compassionate angels. Am I wrong?

By the way, why don’t you draw comfort from the invincibility of the GHQ [in politics] and periodic conquests of the Corps Commander, Rawalpindi, rather than discussing the East Pakistan tragedy? Highly consoling, as recurrently corroborated, that it wouldn’t take more than an hour for the elite Brigade 111, whenever called upon, to secure the Constitutional Avenue and flush out “miscreants” from there.

Morons, it is only in banana republics where premature retirement of the Army Chief doesn’t result in banishing of all the elected provincial and central assemblies. In “mango states”, generals don’t believe in stupid legal formalities or constitutional curbs. Over there, Corps Commanders’ conference room substitutes the constitution; the Army House supersedes the Supreme Court, and whims of the COAS surpass all legislative forums put together.

The hallmark of a righteous set-up is to never abandon like-minded, fawning disciples, regardless of their character and integrity. Observe: have the incumbent office holders disappointed their supporters by succumbing to idiotic requests in the name of morality and justice, to be even-handed in their accountability drive and lately administration of the polls?

On the other hand, relinquishing operational control of the country to the United States Central Command (USCENTCOM), granting a carte blanche to the FBI, facilitating Yankees to whisk off Pakistani nationals, is a price worth paying, an embarrassment worth enduring -- to paraphrase Madeline Albright – for acquiring tacit, if not explicit, authorization of the State Department for the ongoing parody of the democracy. Pakistan first.

What else, you -- a lethargic, untamed lot -- can demand of your Army? Keep in mind that there are few nations on the face of earth blessed with such an omnipotent uniformed force, capable of exceptionally managing national sports teams, successfully leading every single major state institution ranging from key industrial units to universities, streamlining semi-government organizations to diplomatic missions, along with running their own colossal corporate empire -- simultaneously. Believe it or not, we are lucky folks!!

Mind-boggling that notwithstanding the incredible transformation of loss-incurring WAPDA, KESC, PIA etc to profit-generating, well-disciplined commercial enterprises in less than three years, Pakistani sports at its pinnacle, remarkably sound law and order situation, marvellous economical uplift for a common man -- one can go on and on -- still there are vested interests [read, Indian agents] who dare to question the performance of the Army, and doubt the enormous benefits of the “unity of command”.

Then, what is objectionable if the top brass of Pakistan is the best-paid military personnel in the world [in proportion to the country’s per capita income]? On the contrary, we should be honoured that the defence of the motherland is being taken care of by multi-billionaires. To tell the truth, you should be delighted that your martial high command outsmarts their counterparts across the globe, as far as [personal] financial planning is concerned. Where else do you find star officers like Mansour ul Haque, Waqar Azim and Niazi [the list is almost infinitely long]?

Moreover, a healthy and well-educated population is always prone to rebel and thereby constitutes a grave potential security risk. As expected, you don’t understand, diverting much of the budget to defence, leaving precious little for health, education and social services, is not due to maladroit priorities but designed squarely to nip perils in the bud. Of course, a defiant mindset cannot be allowed to take root in the country.

Nashukras, be cheerful and enjoy the tragicomic spoof being directed by the khakis. George Orwell and Franz Kafka in one. And don’t be ‘ghaddar’ by harbouring aspirations for bringing them under any sort of scrutinizing mechanism -- ever. Patriotism and loyalty to your sacred armed forces demand unequivocal acquiescence -- do and die, not to question why. Don’t worry, if you are unable to fathom that after having undertaken an infinite number of incongruent assignments, when, where, how and who discharge the duties they are primarily recruited and trained for: soldiering? No civilian brain possesses the computing talent required to solve this complex equation.

It is treachery to insinuate that the availability of the huge manpower, the abundance of funds, lack of reasonable military errands and lust for absolute power entice our generals to engage in dirty games. Any talk of the imperative of rightsizing army for the survival of the country [not for the prosperity alone, anymore] should be dealt with ruthlessly. It suffices on your part to blindly believe that every sphere of civil life is in firm and competent hands, under direct supervision of the gallant and viable military command -- ready for every internal eventuality. Perhaps hard to perceive, but you are specially selected!!

Compatriots, better start looking at the brighter side and stop bothering the generals. It must be clear to all and sundry that in Pakistan power runs through the barrel of the gun, and a representative dispensation simply doesn’t fit in our “peculiar” socio-political culture. It is our destiny to be led by divinely chosen leaders. MashAllah.

At last, a word of caution: Watch out, infuriating khakis can trigger Ojhri camps anew [now with nuclear weapons].