Actors: Konkana Sensharma, Boman Irani, Bikram Saluja, Tara Sharma, Shandhya Mridul,Rehaan Engineer, Atul Kulkarni, Upyendra Limaye
Director: Madhur Bhandarkar, Producer:

When personal nightmares leak into the public realm via cinema and viewers applaud the finished product as a work of art, there is often a strong streak of narcissism involved. Artifice is all very well in one’s personal life; we are all actors in our private dramas, but spare us the shameless exposure that Madhur Bhandarkar has subjected us to.

Being privy to scandal is something we all enjoy, that is why gossip sells. We all love stories about who is doing what to whom, then why has watching Page Three left such a taste of bile in my mouth?

Living in Bombay, it is next to impossible not to be subjected to a barrage of innuendo about the lives of celebrities. I remember the amusement we all felt at the twist that was given to the title of the film “Kabhi Khushi, Kabhi Gam”. It is taken for granted that these people sleep around, experiment with drugs,sell their bodies, and sometimes their souls. That is the licence accorded to these public entertainers by the indulgent public. A different morality is clearly permitted. Which is why there was very little sympathy shown to Ms Preethi Jain last year, in the course of her offensive against Mr. Bhandarkar. The consensus seemed to be, “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

So what standard of morality does Mr. Bhandarkar profess to uphold in the making of this film? By normal i.e. Indian middle class standards which Konkona Sen’s character represents, everyone in the film, including her editor, lacks any decency or finer instinct. The device of making the much put-upon chauffeurs the Greek Chorus, commenting on the action is an old one. Is it their morality which is the “right” one?

Why are we then led through the morass of loud vulgarity to the denouement which was so obvious to any seasoned film-goer? If the film were intended to be a documentary, it would probably make more sense. If there were even the most minimal acting skill displayed by any of the participants, the time and money wasted on viewing it, would at least have made it partially worth while. That Konkona Sen cannot act, is now even more evident than in Mr. And Mrs. Iyer where at least her fresh face was in her favour.

The most basic requirement of story-telling is to offer at least two if not more characters or lives which one could empathise with. Good films have colours or contrasts which may be obvious or subtle, but necessary for us to feel the balance if not between good and evil, at least between the play of character and destiny. In this film, there was not the slightest attempt made to provide us these contrasts, not of light and shade, or the sense of having watched real lives being played out. Every character seemed despicable, certainly not worth even gossiping about. And then, is this what people aspire to becoming, appearing on Page Three?