July 28, 2007

Letters to my unborn son – Part 1

Dearest Faizan,

Ever since I found out that you are going to come into my life, I cannot help but wonder what kind of a father I will be. Will I be the strict disciplinarian or will I opt for the cool dad persona? Will I have enough to teach you? will I live up to your expectations? Will I be a good father? There are so many questions in my head. Sometimes I wonder if it is normal to ask these questions; do all fathers to be think about this stuff? I suspect the answer is yes, but somehow I cannot stop but feel special in asking these questions as if they are being asked for the first time. This is what god must have felt before creating Adam and Eve.

I don’t expect to be the perfect father. I always joke that “every parent gets an opportunity to screw up their kids in their own particular way�, this is certainly not out of ill will, but no parent has ever been perfect, and I suspect that I will not be the first.

Faizan, the hopes and dreams I have for you are much bigger than my imagination, but for you they will certainly be trivial ideas. You my son, will undoubtedly be more educated, more articulate, more traveled, more intellectual and ultimately a better man than me. I myself have accomplished much less in life but for you I wish the world. I hope you follow your dreams, travel the world and ultimately contribute to society and help make the world a better place. I hope to teach you all I know, and encourage you to learn all I never did.

Your opinion of me will undoubtedly change as you grow up and go thru your life stages; child, boy, man, father. I imagine that you will love me as a child as all children do for their parents, but when you become a teenager you will surely rebel and consider me un-cool and old fashioned. I am not worried or afraid of this period in your life, like many other phases this too will pass.

I do wonder what you will think of me as you have children of your own. After I die and am no longer in your life will you remember me for times when you loved me or for times when you thought I was an ignorant old man from the old country? Will you consider me a good father or a bad one? Like all children you will look back at your own life and see all the things I did wrong, and how you will vow not to make the same mistakes with your own son. On that certain day when you are ready to render a verdict on the fate of my memory, I hope you read this letter.

Your Father