One of the age old, unresolved question is about the respective roles of men and women in society. As clichéd as it may sound, it is there nonetheless. With the advancement in technology, several thousands of mechanized household gadgets were introduced in the last two centuries. Machines offered salvation through technology; scientific housework promised satisfaction through systematic and efficient methods. But still middle-class wives themselves have been voicing a discontent that could not be addressed through new purchases or better systems. They ask for things beyond scientific solutions; cooperative housekeeping, paid work, help from children and husbands, and equality in marriage. Keeping aside the working women, probing into the problems of stay-at-home wives is a lengthy debate in itself.

Before interviewing any housewife, I questioned a businessman and father of two for starters. Mr. Zain was clearly of the opinion that his wife cannot possibly work at home more than he worked all day. Plus the nerve raking dealing with customers of all types all day is more than his wife could ever bear. Mrs. Zain retorted by saying that after dealing with her in-laws throughout her life she can even face dacoits and hooligan. This is just one instance. In most cases, education for girls is considered to be something that increases their value in marriage market and helps them in times of crisis. The creativity related with a job, the idea of not stagnating at home is usually not given any attention.

The point arising over here is that being a housewife is as important a job as any in society. Still it generates feelings of boredom and at times desperation for women. It is because no value is attached to her work. A housewife is an unpaid laborer, whose efforts are seldom acknowledged.

When I talked to Irum Asim her greatest lament was that she is coped up with an unproductive work. Her creative faculties are destroyed in the routine chores, thus making her unfit for even a normal conversation excluding the talk about in-laws and children. Especially in our society we have made housework seem so dull and trivial a thing that its importance never crosses our minds. According to modern economic statistics, one of the most important services not included in the gross national product is that performed by a housewife. Although conventionally economists like to measure the value of time by its opportunity cost, it is argued that by treating employment as a housewife as an occupational-choice decision the value of her time can be identified. She is thus a self-employed person engaged in the production of goods and services for own consumption rather than for sale in market. This view is often pushed in the background by male chauvinists so as to keep the women in their place and consequently women become more confused and woebegone about their role in socio-economic setup.

Mrs. Shoaib held that true labors of the home are those of the heart; its real products are companionship, understanding, and love. But buried beneath these, like the roots of a tree, lay the great fundamental necessities of mankind—food and shelter. A woman’s children are her creative effort for society and leaving them in others hands for some outdoor job is like evoking chaos. This would, however be considered by many as an orthodox view. Modern women long to carve a niche of their own in life and require a breathing space. Moreover exercising creativity at home may become a Herculean task in itself. One friend of mine, a college woman and a teacher before her marriage, is the fond and capable mother of four boys. Her mind is teeming with ideas for her children and her community: ways to improve the schools; a plan for better milk inspection; neighborhood club for boys and their fathers; plan for cooperative buying among housewives. All these she could adequately carry out, for she is a born leader. But, after her manual labor is through for the day, she has not an ounce of energy left—she has used herself up in doing the work necessary to keep her boys and husband fed and her house in decent order.

So besides letting a housewife know the importance of her job, her recreation is also a vital issue. And by recreation I don’t mean the idle chitchat at a relative’s home but something worthwhile. In fact, the routine of housework in the up-to-date home is so systematized as to give the maximum amount of time for matters other than housework. Time for clubs, time for politics, time for play, time for reading, for travel, for motoring, for theatres and lectures and music is what little wives would all want. Housework is no longer considered an end in itself; it is merely the thing that has to be done in order that families may have attractive homes and satisfying food and clothing.

But, notwithstanding the strides that have been made in administering, financing, and operating many enlightened households, there is left, even in these, an irreducible minimum of work for the individual that sometimes reaches staggering proportions.

A woman, for instance, with six children and a husband, and with no help save an occasional day worker, and no money for the more costly labor-saving devices, simply cannot organize her necessary duties so that she will have leisure for pleasures and activities outside the daily routine. In such a household the most modest requirements for food, shelter, and clothing become a driving force that pushes aside relentlessly any irrelevant longing. In short, there is a point below which the most efficient executive in the world cannot cut costs, and steps and hours of labor. Many households face that situation. Mrs. Amna for instance, is a mother of three lads, and her husband lives abroad. She has a single room in a shared accommodation with her in-laws. She said that when going to the doctor alone is considered a luxury for her, taking time out for her minimum pleasure would become a haunting stigma.

Another devout housewife, Mrs. Saira Ahsan was very clear about her views when I questioned her about her role in society. She said that she has everything life gives at its best; loving husband, bright obedient children and a comfortable home. “But I have no personal life. I am only a piece of machinery that nobody realizes the value of, unless I should stop. There are three people who look to me for nourishing food, for clean, mended clothes, for a tidy home, and for an audience. It is an endless circle with no break in it where I personally come in at all. I get so tired trying to get the work all done that I cannot enjoy my children, and my husband must have great difficulty in recognizing that I am, the intellectual, companionable girl he married.”

Like any other problem, the solution here too should start at the grass root level, from the very place that it had begun, from the housewives themselves. Boys from a very early age are taught to take their mothers and sister’s services as a matter of course, a thing for granted. If women allow themselves to be left behind, and work so hard they would be too tired to take part in the daily lives of their children and husbands, who would simply learn to do without them. Children when they are still young enough to learn should learn how to pick up their own things from floors and help their mothers in small ways. Likewise husbands at the time of marriage should be made familiar with the concept of co-operate housing.

There are many things that can be solved with due consideration. There are others, which have gone out of control. We may find a panacea for the ills of boredom but managing a low budget with all possible human efforts may pose an irremediable grievance.