It is wisely said there are three activities a married couple should never attempt: play bridge, hang wallpaper, or learn how to drive. The disagreements can all too often prove to be murder. (http:www.snopes.com/luck/Bennett.asp)

I have been playing bridge off and on since 1968. However, the first game that I played was around 1958. A friend of mine and I got a book on bridge and acquainted ourselves with the fundamentals of bidding. We were at Warsak (near Peshawar) where the Warsak Dam was under construction at that time, and we tried to play bridge at the Warsak Club which used to organize duplicate bridge once every week. First time when we tried to enter the game we were rejected because nobody wanted to team up with the ‘novices’ that we were. After a couple of weeks, one pair of players approached us and invited us to team up with them (Their regular partners were not there that night). We played the duplicate match and lo and behold, we were second in the match (only behind the champions). Although it was not due to our ‘exceptional skills’ as due to the grievous errors committed by our opponents that we managed to score so high, we liked to believe that we were not all that bad after all.

After that, I played some serious bridge in London (UK) between 1968 and 1970. I learned to play bridge with a degree of confidence and skillfulness there. Afterwards, I played occasionally with any partner that was available at that given time. I did not play bridge with stakes. Many experts say that unless you play bridge with high stakes and manage to win more often than not, you can not be considered a good player. I play for fun.

I play bridge once a week for fun these days also. The other three players (at least two of them) believe they are better players than the others and for that reason they fiercely criticize the others. I usually discuss the hands after the game but try to avoid criticizing whenever I can. It is not easy to avoid criticism on both ends, giving and taking. It is not only heartbreaking most of the time even with the experts but it can be very dangerous also.

Myrtle Bennett of Kansas City shot her husband John to death on September 29, 1929, over a bridge hand. Her husband had opened the bidding with one spade; the opponent Charles Hoffman overcalled two diamonds and Myrtle closed the deal by bidding game (4 spades). Although John had opened with a slightly weak hand, the game was makeable. But he screwed his play and went down two tricks. Myrtle called her husband “a bum player.” One thing led to another and John reached across the table and slapped his wife several times. Myrtle said “nobody but a bum would hit a woman.” Consequently, in the fury of anger, Myrtle shot John and killed him. The case went to the court but Myrtle was released without any punishment.

Bridge is said to be a game of brains; the experts claim that it is logical and a great deal of mathematical accuracy is required to gain mastery in both bidding and playing it. It is true when one is unwittingly comparing bridge with the other card games such as poker and gin rummy. Some mathematics is indeed involved in counting the points and establishing bidding guidelines and computing probabilities of the dealt hands. But it is not necessary for a bridge player to be essentially a good mathematician or scientist. Among some of the famous bridge players, names of Winston Churchill, Mahatama Gandhi and President Eisenhower are mentioned. They were politicians or military men (Eisenhower). The nearest we come to a mathematician is Bill Gates (a computer whiz) who also plays bridge. Zia Mahmood (a prominent Pakistani bridge player who now lives in New York), one of the greatest players of the world, is a business man. Omar Sharif is a film star.

Many of those who play bridge like to think consciously and unconsciously that they are logical and ‘mathematicians of some kind.’ This makes them feel good about themselves. In real life, there is much more than bridge which makes one a good and reasonable human being.

The criticism in which most of the players indulge often leads to bitterness bordering on hatred. In this respect bridge can be very unhealthy in human relationships. One of the players in our foursome is a chemical engineer who has published some scientific research papers and taken out several patents. He rightly felt distinguished among us. So he criticized every one for infractions of bidding conventions which he himself committed frequently himself. In a way, he placed himself above the conventions. So the organizer of our weekly games started avoiding him. He would be dropped out whenever possible. Only when no other fourth partner was readily available, he was called and invited. He would then team up with me because others wouldn’t like to be his partners. Initially, he regularly criticized me for poor bidding and poor play although I would pinpoint the weakness of his arguments every time he opened his mouth for criticism In due time, he started seeing the validity of my rebuttals and stopped criticizing. Instead of criticizing, we started discussing “what ifs.” For instance, “What if, partner, I had led a spade instead of a club, etc.”

He is so much obsessed by the game of bridge that he seldom forgets a hand that he screwed up (or I failed to deliver) not that he forgets a difficult slam that was bid and made. I like to play with him as my partner because quite often his analysis is correct and he takes my comments pleasantly. Now it’s not unusual that he would repeatedly say, “I am sorry, partner, the slam was makeable but I played hastily and screwed up.” I tell him to forget it and move on. But he comes back to such hands even after weeks. One of our players jokingly asked him if he could say his prayers (namaz) without thinking of bridge hands which he screwed up or which he made against difficult odds. He said, “No.” He sleeps with bridge and wakes up with it.

Bridge has made many lives miserable and likewise many others very pleasant. I love playing bridge but I wouldn’t let it obsess me.