"This was the noblest Roman of them all". - (Act V, Scene V). Julius Caesar – William Shakespeare

Jinnah and his fellow revolutionaries gave everything, including a few who also gave their lives to realize the creation of a new nation. They would be turning in their graves knowing what became of their dream. A few were lucky enough to have had lived for a couple of decades after its birth. That nation, Pakistan, once was a revolutionary country, as it rebelled against the British. Its inhabitants earned the right to breathe free, a right to elect their own representatives instead of being colonial subjects, a right to have a say into their affairs, and most precious of all rights, an inalienable right to freedom of religion as was envisioned (and promised) by the founding father. Wake me up when we get there.

“I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man.� Che Guevara

Only 4 years into existence, its elected Prime Minister Liaquat Ali Khan is assassinated (and would you believe that he was killed in the park that shared his name - how so ironic). A few others, like Khawaja Nazimuddin, Muhammad Ali Bogra, Huseyn Suhrawardy, Chaudhry Mohammad Ali, Ibrahim Chundrigar, Feroz Khan Noon, also took a little ride on the pony, none of them lasting more than a few months at a time. In the 50s, we changed leaders like there was no tomorrow. Every time Elizabeth Taylor had a new husband, we had to have a new leader. It wouldn’t take long and the country will have its first Dictator Ayub Khan (no relation to Shah Rukh Khan). He fought a successful war in 1965 over Kashmir with India. Around the same time, the Arabian Gulf was developing its petroleum sector and needed skilled and unskilled workers from cheaper sources. Ayub Khan had a vision of instituting some sort of guest worker programs where certain conditions were expected from the host countries of the Arabian Gulf. When Ayub was disposed off in a popular uprising, briefly there was another, at this time only a transient Dictator, Yahya Kahn (also no relation to Shah Rukh Khan) came to power. His purpose of coming was to start a new war and during his time a not so important event took place. It was division of the country along linguistic and nationalistic lines. East by now had grown up and felt that it was time to wean off mommy’s breasts. It was a painful yet necessary separation, as it will make mommy concentrate on her other 4 young ones plus an adopted one. Yahya presented 90,000 soldiers to India as a parting present, which would also set a scene for later leader of Pakistan to have a romantic rendezvous with his Indian counterpart in Shimla.

“Amar Shonar Bangla, Ami tomae bhalobashi.� Rabindarnath Tagore

However, in a Moorish manner, Yahya did not accept separation of the East. It took an elected leader Z A Bhutto (the father of a slain Bhutto, a poisoned Bhutto, a murdered Bhutto, and father-in-law of a cinema owner and grandpa of a party co-Chairman) to recognize that yes, East in no longer East of Pakistan and that it has drifted way apart from the rest of the country that calling it East Pakistan is no longer realistic. This is how Bangladesh was born.

“Socialism is a fraud, a comedy, a phantom, a blackmail.� Benito Mussolini

The new leader Z A Bhutto, after riling up students in Pakistan, brought his Berklian vision of Hippie idealism combined with Social Justice, with a hollow howl of “Bread, Clothing, and Housing� and he terms it “Socialism�. It was anything but. In addition to nationalizing most of private owned industries, he viewed the Gulf Arab petroleum sector as a source of income for Pakistan, and opened the labor export sector to the max – a change from Ayub Khan’s strategy. That was a bad move according to development professionals, because exporting one skilled worker meant 10 unskilled workers in Pakistan will lose their livelihood. His greatest accomplishment was writing the final chapter on Islam, and he is credited with authenticating Islam the way it was never authenticated. Now there was a clear distinction between a Muslim and wannabe Muslims, and this will be noted on the identity papers of all Pakistanis. Some of his ways of conducting state business was getting under the Army’s skin and the Mullah brigade was also getting a little on his case for his admittance to drinking alcohol. He was arrested by his Army Chief under allegations of a political murder. A new star was emerging on the horizon, as sun was setting on Bhutto.

"Now is the winter of our discontent". - (Act I, Scene I). King Richard III, William Shakespeare

The new model to arrive is Zia ul Haq, a decorated soldier with a perpetual smirk on his face. He thinks of himself as the true representative of God on this earth. After keeping Z A Bhutto in jail for a few years, he decides that the time is ripe to hang the bastard. With the revolution in neighboring Iran in full swing, and the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, Zia will have his plate fuller than he can handle. He vows for stronger ties with the Arabian Gulf and he does his best to turn Pakistan into a servant quarters of Saudi Arabia, a country he considers his guiding star. The US Soviet Union war is getting nastier in Afghanistan, and Dictator Zia sees this as an opportunity to get even closer to his spiritual guide, and opens up 100s of religious schools with Saudi money along the border with Afghanistan. This was a two-prong strategy that would serve, first to spread Zia’s vision of Islam, and secondly supply holy warriors for the US Soviet conflict. In addition to tending to international affairs, he spares no effort to make life easy for the local population. In that endeavor, none of the rights afforded to citizens by the constitution of Pakistan are honored. New dictatorial amendments to the already ‘suspended’ constitution are crafted to humiliate the religious minorities, and an inherently foolish public is fooled further by being asked to choose between “Islam or no Islam�. Wonder who said “No�? “No one� according to the outcome of the referendum. He also introduces modern Hudood Ordinance that would be a source of pleasure to his Saudi masters and his madrassa undergraduate and graduate students, but a source of anguish for the women of Pakistan, mainly because women were not Saudis and were also not of the preferred gender. Dictator Zia can be credited with not only starting the Saudiization of the country, but seeing it incubate and prosper. Many new terms are introduced, e.g., Khuda Hafiz becomes Allah Hafiz, and Ramzan was now called Ramadhan, although the number of fasts remains consistent in both versions. Nimaz will now be Salah, and Burka will become Abbaya. Terms such as Ahlan-wa-Sahlan, Shukran, Shawarma, and Shurta will become part of local vocab. Movie industry of Lahore will be ostracized and will die during Zia. PTV female announcers will be made to cover their heads whether or not they wanted to, and there will be prayer breaks even during the live broadcast. Can you imagine a last over of an ODI against England and England only had to score 4 in 3 balls and there comes a prayer break? "Kill me to-morrow: let me live to-night!� Othello, William Shakespeare

“Every dog has his day.� An ancient Greek proverb

Without going into unnecessary details about how Zia’s tenure ended, there are two theories worth mentioning that have been floating around in various circles. One theory is that there were some defective mangoes left on his helicopter and upon eating them, he blow up and exploded, the second, a more plausible theory, is that his helicopter was intercepted by angel Gabriel and Zia was taken to Allah in the 7th havens. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. In any case, when he departed this world, he left behind a crony that he personally mentored. Nawaz Sharif was molded into a political deity of Pakistan by none other than Dictator Zia who forgot to slap a handful of hair on his receding hairline, but with the grace of Almighty on subsequent visits to Saudi Arabia, Sharif grew some hair but lacked growth elsewhere. However, it was not Sharif’s time, but time for the Daughter of the East to run with the baton. Sharif will come later and in fact for a period of time, Sharif and Bhutto (the woman) played seesaw.

"All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand." - (Act V, Scene I). Macbeth, William Shakespeare

Upon Zia’s death, Miss Bhutto is elected and rules the country for a couple of years, and nothing significant took place during these two years except her husband started to accumulate wealth in an unprecedented way and proved himself to be the top wealth accumulator in the history of Pakistan and the Indian Sub Continent. These two years flew by. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. She passes the baton on to Nawaz Sharif. Sharif rules for a couple of years, followed again by Bhutto for 3. They took turns to screw the nation.

“In a mad world, only the mad are sane.� - Akiro Kurosawa

As the country needed a savior in these tumultuous times, with wars on its border, and India flexing its muscles, Pakistanis bring their favorite clown to power once again. During this time, the country saw not only explosive inflation but experienced nuclear explosion as well. Relations with neighboring nations started to suffer because of the explosion (why do they call it a test? What is so testy about detonating a nuke? Oh well, let’s not get too political here, shall we.)

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him". - (Act III, Scene II, Mark Antony). Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare
While Sharif and Bhutto kept taking turns, it was during Sharif’s turn when yet another product of the Army, Musharraf, enters through the backdoor. His rule will last for some years. He will be Pakistan’s 9/11 even before 9/11 and a lot after it. Pakistan now was sliding more into becoming a little Saudi Arabia, but this time with a UAE flavor because Musharraf tried to introduce a new model that he called “lighted modulation�. Under this model, he will take credit for opening up the press and the internet and try to create problems himself and will later put himself in-charge of fixing them. He killed Bhutto (the woman). While he defied death several times, it was under his rule that thousands of Pakistanis were killed, kidnapped, and handed over to ‘friendly’ countries. He was made to take off his uniform by the USA and while the ceremony was not broadcast live, but those that were present tell that it was not a very nice view.

“Whatever you do will be very insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.� Mohandas K. Gandhi

Musharraf leaves under shameful circumstances, the national political machinery gets mobilized, a teenager is made co-Chairperson of a major party, considering that 50% of Pakistanis are below the age of 15, it was a good choice. His father is made President, and some Mausoleum keeper is elected as the Prime Minister of Pakistan (in keeping with Saudi Arabia where the Mausoleum keepers have been ruling for 80 years). To further our goal, there is a full fledged politically negotiated Saudi style Shariah in place in northern part of the country. Just as East drifted away, it appears that the North will too, so if you lose East and North, you are left with West and South. Is that the place we want to be? The question is, do we have a choice? Well who cares about the choice, when we have nukes?

This is how my friends you make Bakistan out of a perfectly fine country that you create out of nothing but with your dreams, hopes and aspirations, and if you leave it to clowns you turn it into a Bedouin community resembling 7th century Arabia.

God bless Pakistan, or whatever is left of it.

Ma Asalama!