Raj: Who says that the situation in Pakistan is uncertain? No my dear it is not. You are absolutely wrong.

I: No, I am right.

Raj: Well you could be right a few years back, but not now! A complete sense of certainty prevails in our country.
There is nothing to panic about.

I: But can't you see and hear the alarms sounding somewhere?

Raj: No I don't. In any case; let the poor pieces rest in peace. They are so rusty and old that despite
flagrant provocation from thieves and decoits, not a single sound of protest comes out of them. Moreover,
when law enforcing agencies, who are supposed to be a better race, cannot hear, then how can you?

I: For God's sake, I am not talking about the alarm systems of banks and government treasuries! I was
referring to the panic and alarming situation due to uncertainty.

Raj: I see. So you were talking about uncertainty.

I: Yes, yes.

Raj: How? I never took you to be so naive! First of all you should be clear about the meanings and
interpretations of uncertainty.

I: I know it.

Raj: No you don't. What I know of you, you are still sticking to the original meanings of uncertainty. You
should employ the word as it suits you or fits in the present environment.

I: I am sorry, I don't understand you.

Raj: I know. It is not your fault. Majority of people do not understand me. But this doesn't mean that I
should stop saying what I want to say or quit. (looking at my confused face, he went on to say). To put you
at ease, let me give you some examples and you shall be clear about my meanings. You see, now when a decoit
plans to loot a bank in broad daylight and in busy hours, everyone, including police, are sure of his
success. Killers, kidnappers, swindlers and a host of other such characters have no uncertainty about their
success. Let me further explain my point. We are all certain that during extreme hot weather, water supply
will be disrupted. Similarly, all essential services are very certain of their failure at the hour of need.
Poor and downtrodden are certain about their state to remain as such. The policy makers are certain that
their plans and policies, including national budget, will be changed completely. Politicians are certain
about making monkeys out of the Awam. So my dear, if everyone is certain then where is the uncertainty?

(For a second, Raj's logic, though highly perverse, sounded very logical to me. Yet I dare say).

I: But, but you are talking about...

Raj: (interrupting) I knew you would say that I was talking about certainty and not uncertainty. Here lies the
difference. While you talk of negativity, I have a positive approach. The other day you were grudging about
the dissolution of assemblies, dismissal of an elected government and the executive-judiciary tussle!

I: Yes. I was about to say the same thing again.

Raj: So what if the assemblies are dissolved and elected government dismissed. It was just another experiment.
Does this mean that the country is doomed? Why should we be scared of doing experiments or trying new
things? How can we learn then? No, no, don't think that way. You are making an issue out of nothing. You
should be happy because we are heading towards recording some big scores. Haven't you heard of
automation?

I: I have. But what has that to do with this?

Raj: (With a crooked smile) It is a highly useful concept. Advanced countries invented automatically
functioning mechanisms decades ago. Their scientist and intellectuals did not invent this gadgetry overnight.
They had to put in a huge amount of money and innumerous work hours in experimentation. They however
limited their invention to machines only. (With a wink) But we have beaten them hollow.

I: What are you talking about?

Raj: Patience my dear, patience. We have automised human beings! A group of men!! Look at our history. Look
at the fetes. A parliamentary form of government without a prime minister, a senate with a non-member as its
leader or supreme court without chief justice! Elections or no elections, assemblies or no assemblies, prime
minister or no prime minister, the affairs of the country will run automatically. We have shown the world the
real meaning of "the show must go on". Don't you feel happy that we are earning a strong position for world
records? I for one will be very happy if the Guinness people include a few more records like the longest
serving COAS cum president of the third world, invention of martialised democracy, non-member leader of the
house and many more along with our Alam Channa. (He paused for a while and then said) Anyway this is nothing. Wait and see. We are going to get some real records in future. We are certain of success as long as
experiments go on.

I: But, for how long can we go on with experimentation? It has been half a century...!

Raj: So what? We have talent, time, money and above all a dedicated group of intellectuals who had been more
than willing to serve the nation selflessly.

I: Now wait a minute. I agree that we have a lot of time, talent, and dedicated team, but money? No! we are
poor people. Haven't you heard about our shattered economy and unbearable debts?

Raj: (With a hearty laugh) Ha... ha... don't take such things to your heart. (Whisperingly) We are very rich
poors.

I: What?

Raj: You do not believe me. Just try to count the number of imported cars, palatial houses, over stuffed
with imported goods and...

I: But these things belong to the people and not to the government.

Raj: (Smilingly) So what? People belong to the government. (Looking at my blank face) Okay, let me tell you
something. Haven't you heard of a beggar who died heirless on one of the dirty streets, with sufficient
money to buy a latest model car and a house in any of the posh localities?

I: If he had the money how could he be a beggar?

Raj: Well the fact is that he had a lot of money yet he was a beggar. Now you can draw your conclusions.

I: All right I understand. So what were you saying?

Raj: (With a triumphant smile) I was talking about experiment and invention. You see, for any good invention,
there are two basic requirements; experimentation and patience. You wait and see. Be hopeful and pray to
Allah Almighty to bless you with life long enough to bear the financial, mental and physical burden of the
experimentation process till its natural culmination. (Suddenly raising his voice as if to impress through his
oratory) Nations cannot be made without sacrifices. Freedom was achieved through sacrifices. You must give
more sacrifices to maintain it. Awam, and particularly Muslim Awam are used to sacrifices, so they should
keep giving sacrifices without hesitation.

I: But why?

Raj: To get something better, that is why. Awam should be patient. Today if they face grave problems due to
soaring prices of daily commodities, don't blame the government, which in any case is doing its best to
provide the basic needs for living. Have you ever heard the government contemplating tax on the (polluted)
air, which is inhaled every day by the Awam? You people raise objections against price hike but never
uttered a single word of praise for providing air, free of cost!

I: (Protestingly) Now you are again talking...

Raj: (Interrupting) Don't interrupt me. Let me finish. Now if you feel insecure, due to murders, fratricides,
dacoities, kidnappings, corruption and host of other evils "in the game", don't lose your heart. Even Allama
Iqbal advised us not to give up hope -payvasta reh shajr say umeed e bahar rakh! (Stay with the tree and hope
for the spring time). If you don't listen to me at least listen to what our national poet said.

I: But this verse is ...

Raj: (Annoyingly) Please don't interrupt me. It stops the flow of my thoughts. If the verse referred to,
is out of context, just forget it. Why make another issue?

I: (Apologetically) I am sorry.

Raj: (Cleaning his specs with tissue paper) "Sit back and relax" is the best remedy. If you still do not get
satisfaction, then think of all good things happening to fellow beings, around the world. If you can't
think of good things, and most probably you wouldn't, as you never saw good things, then think of those;
Khawas, whom you very often see in your neighbourhood or on your TV set. They are the people who need pity.
Think about the agony and hardship they are going through by working day and night selflessly on the
experimentation to work out a solution for the well being of the Awam. Don't just look at their physical
comforts and tremendous other facilities. These facilities are nothing compared to the mental and physical
strain they are going through for you; the Awam.

I: Don't you think that the experiment might fail or instead of a new invention, the nation is given a
reconditioned machine?

Raj: (Smilingly) I know what you are hinting at. (little seriously) No. Experimentation cannot fail because
we have firm belief in a fool proof formula of "Hit an Trial". Regarding invention? It is going to be brand
new. From a small screw to the main work head, all new. Usage of old parts at the moment is only for the
experimentation purpose. Moreover, certain parts of the machine are made of very special metal. These parts
never wear out. In fact you and I should be grateful to our inventors for using omni-new, old parts thus
saving lot of finances on new ones. Anyway let us not waste our already depleted energy on these minor
things. We must have complete faith in our inventors. Changing of parts, employment or retrenchment of
labour for experimentation, should be left to them. All we should do is not be impatient. (Looking at his
watch). Now if you excuse me, I am getting late for my favourite TV programme. Bye.

Mr Raj walked away, stopping his talk as abruptly as he had began. I kept looking at him walking away with a
strange air of triumph, leaving me pondering upon what he said. "Sure", I said to myself. "We never can have
any problems as long as we have people like Mr Raj in our nation."