Skins On Sale

It was a sizable crowd of enthusiastic buyers at the new store chain, Skins & Skins. It has outlets all over the country. In Karachi it is situated on the Khairunissa Street. The store chain, Skins & Skins, specializes in the procurement and sale of skins of all kinds, and all breeds. It provides ample opportunity to a customer to choose a skin of his choice he prefers to put on for concealing his identity.

Adam, a scared man in his millennium, hesitantly entered the shop, and stood alienated from the buyers. He was wrapped in a white cotton sheet that made him conspicuous. He watched the sale of skins with curiosity.

The smart salesman had mesmerized customers with his articulation and body language. He displayed a lion’s skin, and said, “No matter how coward you are, if you put on a lion’s skin you will scare hell out of other people around you, including your wife.”

A timid person bought the lion’s skin, and left the store. A young man asked, “What kind of a skin would you suggest for an unemployed person?”

The salesman held a lion’s skin in one hand, and a burly bear’s skin in other, and said, “Either of the two would serve your purpose.”

“Didn’t you sell a lion’s skin to a timid person a little while ago?” The unemployed youth said, “I am neither a coward, nor have I a wife. I am an unemployed computer engineer.”

“An unemployed MBA bought a bear’s skin last week, and was immediately hired. He now roams in a bear’s pit in the Zoo,” the salesman said. “Unlucky Unani Circus is looking for an intelligent lion who could get whipped, and indulge in acrobatics on ringmaster’s commands. You put on a lion’s skin. They will employ you on a suitable remuneration.”

The unemployed computer engineer purchased the lion’s skin, put it on, and headed for Unlucky Unani Circus.

The salesman then showed a snow-white skin to the buyers, and said, “This is a sheep’s skin.”

No one expressed interest in the sheep’s skin. The salesman waved the skin, and said, “Do not underestimate a sheep’s skins. It is wolves’ favourite skin.”

The buyers remained unmoved. “Perhaps you don’t believe me.” The salesman said, “After getting under a sheep’s skin a wolf mingles with the herd, and devours as many sheep as suits him. What is amazing is that a wolf under a sheep’s skin is never caught.” A number of buyers purchased sheepskins, and slipped away from the store without being recognized.

The salesman displayed a monkey’s skin, and said, “If you desire to impress your boss, and show him how quick and sprightly are you in your work, then you should wear a monkey’s skin.” A sizable number of section officers and deputy secretaries bought monkeys’ skins, and departed from the store. Monkey business proved rewarding for the store, and soon the salesman ran short of monkeys’ skins and sheepskins.

The salesman then showed a feathered skin to the remaining buyers, and said, “I do not want to leave you guessing. This is an owl’s skin. “

“Oh!” The buyers murmured.

“Not everyone deems owl a symbol of wisdom.” The salesman said, “For some an owl is a sign of curse and evil influences. They abhor owls.”

A bespectacled man smilingly bought the owl’s skin. The puzzled salesman asked, “What would you do with an owl’s skin?”

“I would put it on and leave for the West.” The buyer said, “I intend to deliver lectures at American and European universities on cash-crop topics.”

The salesman asked, “What do you mean by cash-crop topics?” The buyer smiled, and said, “Karo-kari, violence against women, and child abuse are our cash-crop topics for the Western World.” The bespectacled buyer left the shop. A diminutive pulpy person approached the salesman, and asked, “Can I have an owl’s skin?” “I am sorry sir.” The salesman said, “That was the last piece I had.”

The pulpy person looked disappointed. He stepped aback. The salesman talked to him, and said, “Sir, look at this feathered skin. It is a Cholistani falcon’s skin.”

The pulpy person said, “I am not interested.”

“It was known by the name of ‘flying cheetah of Cholistan’.” The salesman said, “After getting under Cholistani falcon’s skin you will perch on the forearm of an Arab prince. You will be pampered all the time. You will live a luxurious life beyond your expectations. Your only job will be to kill.”

The pulpy person bought the falcon’s skin.

The salesman spotted Adam, and asked, “What kind of a skin would you like to buy?”

Adam said “A man’ s skin.”

“You are a man!” The salesman asked, “Why do you want a man’s skin?”

“I don’t have one of my own.” Adam removed the cotton sheet, and uncovered his body. It was flesh and blood. Adam said, “Every time an attempt is made on a VVIP I am caught. During the interrogation they peel off my skin. This has been going on since 1947.”

“I am sorry, sir.” The salesman said, “We do not deal in man’s skin. It doesn’t sell. Everyone prefers to get under an animal’s skin.”