a contrast to Farzana Versey’s kachay dhaagay...

"So, it has ended. Whatever was it that existed between you and me: I thought it was a cherished friendship; I don’t know about you.

It’s over a year now and the ugly, hideous, repulsive feeling is overwhelming. I’ve always thought, and very convincingly so, that minute details like me always calling someone up for a time to meet, to play, to meet, are small and irrelevant. It should not bother a relationship. I was wrong. These might be minute, but not insignificant. I have been taking appointments of your time.

For a year I have felt that I was not needed, felt that I am not important, but I have lived with it. I thought that in you I have found a friend with whom I could share myself. And I did share myself. I sincerely believed that there will come a time when I will not have to take appointments, when I would be important enough. I was wrong.

In this process of misconceived mutual trust, I realize that I have ended up giving too much of myself to someone who neither desires it nor is in need for it. And what hurts me is that wasted part of myself that I have cherished and prized for a year now. I had worn it like a gold badge and flaunted it.

So why write all this now?

I am writing, in a feeble attempt, to rid myself of your fondness, to get rid of my misery of ignoring you; my misery of not coming to talk to you; my misery of not being able to share myself with you. For you, I understand, indifferently going past me was a routine.

I am writing this to get rid of ridiculous expectation: that after a year of closeness and sharing myself with someone, that someone cares enough to ask me once why I have quit talking.

I am writing to assuredly seal off this burden-relation, so that you can ignore me more comfortably and can focus yourself on all that’s more meaningful to you.

This moment, I understand, I am ending what has been a year of false expectations. Ending a relationship that was for you, unneeded, unwanted and uncalled for.

This moment, I understand what wrecked pride is, how it feels to have your trust pillaged by the trustee’s naiveté, how it feels when you find your honor lying forgotten, somewhere. "


*What do you do when someone admits his error and is willing to make amends*

I am glad that I didn’t let ego deprive me of one of my most valued relationships. I am glad I had a dialogue, with somewhat an open mind.

I am glad we are together again-- in a stronger way.

This further affirms and reinforces my belief: relationships grow by sharing misunderstandings.

Life is bright and brilliant once again. The light has returned.

:)