A Long Awaited Break for Me and Some Trashy Stuff for You!

Almost every time I come to chowk, I type in some random stuff which I then simply trash. First, I have no talent for writing. Second, terrible writing, which is also unfair and prejudiced, can be almost as inexcusabA le as many of the articles we see on the front page.

But today I am going on a long break from Chowk! A weak excuse to inflict junk on friendly people who are yet to harm me except in their dreams, but I will still take it!

I had written the following post earlier in the day. It’s full of prejudices. It’s unfair. Overall, not in good taste. But when did I write anything better? The context and the names will remain hidden, at least formally. C ya guys and gals until I get a chance to learn from all of you again. Take care, buds.


Scene:

A thousand-year old, oily-haired, sufi is seen in the company of a young, aggressive Muslim lad. The two are earnestly engaged in their mutual Great religious obligation of ijtihad. For over a millenium have they thus busied themselves, with already miles upon miles of groundbreaking, crackling new wisdom to show for their holy efforts.

A little under the influence of the green subcontinental leaf - which is not tea, the Sufi makes a sufiana statement:


**my prophet muhammad (saw) was a human being...not an infallible angel...maybe we read different qur’ans...maybe we believe in different Allahs...naoozobillah!**

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To which the Muslim lad quickly offers a pristine Islamic response

help me with the 2 + 2 my enlightened pseudo gora sarkar:

1. If you believe in Allah, then you must believe in everything He says: T or F
2. If you believe in everything He says, you must believe in the Quran: T or F
3. If the previous 2 are , then you must believe in Jibraeel (as)’s infallibility: T or F
4. If you’ve read the Quran, then you must have read that Allah assures us therein that Jibraeel (as) conveyed everything to the Prophet (pbuh) unaltered: T or F
5. Also, you must have read that Allah vouches for the Prophet (pbuh)’s honesty & trustworthiness in the Quran as well: T or F
6. Allah, Quran, and Jibraeel (as): all being true, Allah wouldn’t need to send His message through His trusted Jibraeel to an man who would mess it up: T or F

Do you really believe (m’az Allah) Allah he will commit such a blunder to send such a pristine book full of divine message to a man who could alter it?

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Then, as in children’s game of Xs and Os, the Sufi cruelly demolishes the hapless lad with unquestionably saintly pearls. Speaking from high above, in his perch in the elevated state of consciousness, the Sufi naturally spoke in very profound riddles. I will help the uninitiated reader along by including brief explanatory notes.


"(am in a rush so I will be brief)"
* Sufi’s opening salvo. Sufis in general always find themselves in a tearing hurry, or have to urgently leave for unheard of places occupied by more awaiting heathens, whenever they are asked questions that they can’t confront.


"this is what I said (emphasis added)"
Emphasis added means - you fool, those words have all the wisdom, if only you had eyes to see them. It’s not my responsibility to clarify what I mean.


"most of your questions are not relevant here…"
* As usual, no need for me to answer questions, since I never had a clue.


"however re: #6..who said anything about messing the message?... "
The Sufi probably agrees with ntsyed (not surprising, really, since his sufianahood is but a thin layer of paint), but too ashamed to admit it openly.


"are you really stupid or you feign stupidness? Or are you devious?"
* Hello? These can’t be words of a Sufi!


"Or blind to Allah’s truth?..."
* No, no! It can’t be the Great Sufi. Is it ntsyed speaking? No???


"don’t answer…may Allah guide you"
* This MUST be ntsyed. Or, is it still the Sufi? The Sufi it is, ladies and gentlemen! :(


"i reiterate for you and others to ponder:"
* I AM THE GREAT MAN of wisdom beyond your reach. My words are my sole evidence. Ponder much and ponder long. Once you have pondered as ponderously as I ponder, you will ponder your way to my views. If you still don’t believe what I say, ponder more. Repeat the ponderous process until your mind see’s nothing except what my mind sees (which, some uncharitable heathens claim, is very little).

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Flying away hurriedly and ponderously on his Arabic carpet, chewing rapidly and nervously on subcontinental green, heathen stuff, the Sufi for a moment ponders the most scary imponderable: Do I have a clue, or am I just.....?!!

You folks too ponder. Keep pondering until you agree with me. If all your native intelligence rebels against you, ponder on like a brave soul. Then start pondering a few times a day. Still doesn’t work? Fast through the days, and ponder through the nights.

Ultimately, PERFECT KNOWELDGE will dawn upon you.

As you relish that perfect knowledge, I, the Sutradhar, will take a break, and wonder what on fukcing earth happened to our people!