lead edit mh/04jul05

http://www.sakalherald.com/Letter.asp?PageNo=22

Carrying the White man’s burden
The Indians’ over reaction to a teeny weeny BPO leak is unwarranted
By Veeresh Malik
THE speed in India, lately, with which the holy grail of our political, administrative and police machinery, with able support from their hand-maidens in the English media, react to every small incident abroad pertaining to the infotech industry related problems in India, is ample proof that not only is Her Majesty the Queen still our reigning deity, but that the durbars of yore are still doing very well too, thank you. Trumpets and nagada drum players borne on elephants have, no doubt, been replaced by television and newspapers, but the message from Buckingham Palace, Westminster and Oxbridge remains the same. “The natives are getting too smart (read unruly), bring on the dragoons and native cavalry.”
At least they had Gunga Din, the justified bhisti, who then died. The reward he got from Kipling was . . . “By the livin’ Gawd that made you, you’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!” He had to die for his stomach and his loyalty to regiment and foreign flag, and the ultimate validation was a poem about him. So we still talk about him today, too. Do note, there aren’t too many poems we know about Mangal Pandey, though.
But what glory in death, poetry, fine food and raiment that we do not lack in modern-day independent India drives our modern day bhistis, the tale-carriers? Could it be the 15 seconds of fame on television or the 15 column cm in the media that pushes our opinion makers and leaders to make such absolute idiots of themselves in public whenever there is some teeny weeny crime with international implications?
Or is it because Fleet Street does not do the job anymore?
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Reminds me of a true episode from the days when I used to work as the Operations Manager in India for what was, then, the biggest American Shipping company in the world. Later on, an even smarter man in Singapore bought this company, the birth of out-sourcing in a primeval way. Never mind.
Exports from India were still not the big ticket item they are now, and most of the cargo moving out was from the traditional handicrafts, leather, garments and other similarly attractive sectors. Attractive to being pilfered en route, that is. So, invariably, there would be a short-landing at destination. Sometimes, of course, full containers would also vanish. In short, this had become an accepted fact of life.
Well, everything was usually insured, so settling claims used to be a fairly routine and mundane affair. However, what used to really make me wonder was the ease with which indicating that the likely place of theft/pilferage was “unknown Indian port in transit” became a practice that had sort of standardised itself. We were all almost conditioned to not just continue with this, but also believe this. Despite our best efforts and all sorts of multiple one time locks, even to the extent of tack-welding container doors shut when loaded with expensive cargo, these thefts would continue. And we all would happily believe that India, Indians, we were responsible.
(But hush, don’t talk too loudly, what will they think? I mean, serving chief ministers and semi-un-resigned IAS officers can jointly pilfer hundreds of crores of flood relief money, but we don’t see the police jumping up with the same alacrity, do we?)
Till I visited Oakland, California, where this company’s headquarters were then located. And saw recognisable shoes, leather jackets, garments and handicrafts from India being sold openly on the pavements right outside the docks, where the fancy redeveloped Jack London Square stands now. Very simple investigations revealed and proved the visible truths.
The simple truth is that theft and crime, of all sorts, is seldom location specific. But no, as Indians, we carry the can all the time.
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Which is also all very fine, well said, and can probably also be understood. Perception beats fact, and we need to go about correcting perception first, right? Thefts and crimes against other countries need to be taken seriously, but what about thefts by other countries against India?
So here is my first very brief list of thefts and crimes committed against properties belonging to Indians and India, now being reported by me in the Indian media, and can I expect the rest of the Indian and foreign media as well as the police forces of India to prevail on Scotland Yard to resolve at the very earliest? I am also providing helpful hints on current location to aid recovery.
One, the British Indian Ocean Territories, also known as Chagos Archipelago and lately as Diego Garcia, located in the Indian Ocean, were stolen from India at the time of Independence. Of these, some islands were further handed over to the Government of the United States, some were left vacant for future usage and at least one of them, known during the Second World War as “Gan”, has simply vanished off the maps! (Though it exists, I purposely sailed a merchant ship very close to this unmarked island in the early ’80s based on its last known latitude and longitude, and know that it is still there, loaded with airplanes and helicopters. Current Location: Indian Ocean).
Two, the Kohinoor Diamond was originally from the Godavari Basin, about 4,000 years ago. From there, its identity remained the same, but tenancy rights changed frequently. Malwa/Hindus, Babar/Mughals, Nadir Shah/Persians, Ranjit Singh /Sikhs, East India Company/Christian, and now with Windsor/ (almost became Arabs). So, in the name of secularism and Godavari Basin and justice and halwa, we would need to get it back. As it is, this diamond is unlucky for all except women, and how long will their current one last? More so, we have one in the wings? (Current Location: Tower of London).
Three, the secret behind making of gunpowder was first borrowed from innocent Tamilians by Sir Elijah Yale, then Governor of Madras. He then decided to take this to England, but a wardrobe malfunction -- change of flag -- saw that he landed up in the US instead, where he founded a great university that bears his name, as well as a company called Du-Pont. We, as Indians, therefore lay claim to all existing assets as well as intellectual property derived by direct benefit from Yale University as well as Du-Pont. (Current Location: Worldwide, but there is a factory in Goa with a great view where we can start.)
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What, then, are a few credit card records in the face of these greater thefts?
There is a logic in this which I hope you, gentle reader, have understood. And it is very simple: “Aap chor, kotwal ko daante”. Or, in English, the pot calling the kettle black. Payback time.