Him

He loves her more than himself that is something beyond doubt now but should she keep on loving him? He is impulsive, short tempered, ill mannered sometimes, abusive in his expression of passion sometimes, jealous to the extent of being obsessive. He wants her to think of him 24/7 but is unable to do the same smtimes, he wants her to leave all her aquaintances and friends for him but will get up to leave at the first call of his friend.

He is obsessive when it comes to anything related to her. He can’t stand anything hurting her, she can’t eat hot bread he’d blow on each pc of bread she eats to make sure she doesn’t burn her fingers. He doesn’t move a brow even if she sprays his clean clothes with gravy by mistake but just a mention of another man in her life doesn’t matter who he is brother, cousin, father, friends he hates them all.

His temprament is another thing which sets him apart from others, somedays he can’t stay away from her, he would call her, see her, touch her with different excuses, wouldn’t let her get off phone, wouldn’t let her leave, would talk to her about their life together and then there are days when he will just scream and not talk to her at all, pretend he is the busiest person in the world.

Then there are days when he wants to leave her and have nothing to do with her at all, somedays when he promises to talk to her parents he just flips, forgets how she cares about him, how she starts fretting at the slightest sign of displeasure in his eyes, how she wants to make him smile every second, how she wants to desperately spend every second of her life caring for him and his children. All those things don’t matter at that point, all that matters to him then is that he cannot make up his mind.

She thought alot about why he is the way, spoke to him alot about his life. His biggest greivance in life was his time spent at the hostel, he was a unattached at home and spoilt by relatives. This made him selfish and abusive towards others a bit manupilative too. But is he a person to spend her life with?

She thought alot about leaving him and living a safer future life with someone carrying less emotional baggage, she left him for 2 years, he begged to listen to her voice, for her glimpse, for her touch and with every denial he degraded himself to a new level of torture from self abuse to alcohol to drugs.

She tried everything in the book to forget him, too much work, a busy social life, a new hobby, a new person but nothing worked. Everytime she had a significant problem she went crying back to him, when she broke her leg, when she felt there were no good men in the world she always went back to him and he was always there with his arms wide open.

Then after 4 years she saw him, he’s aged, he’s going bald, his eyes stay red all the time. In 4 years it was the first time she saw him in flesh. He was so close to her, close enough to touch him and he won’t disappear. He looked so stunned, so shocked to see her in front of him. Everything about him seemed different to her. He was no more the brash looking hot headed boy she fell in love with. He has softer hands now, he is always clothed in suits.

She is scared more than she used to be earlier though, scared cuz she likes this nicer version of her lover boy more. Losing a hot tempered selfish spoiled brat tore her in half years ago. Losing him again will kill her almost certainly.

Everytime he screams at her for someone else she dies a silent scared death and her fear of losing him goes a bit deeper. Is it better to give love a chance and take life as it comes ? or would it be better to break a relationship getting deeper in fear of being hurt deeply in future?