Its five in the morning and I’ve just bid the last of my guests goodbye, tidied up the living room and washed the dishes. By rights I should be about ready to fall into bed – its been a long day and while I like my occasional bouts of cooking and more frequent bouts of entertaining, neither leaves me with a lot of energy at the end of the day. But I feel restless and so I’m doing what I always do in situations like these – surf, read and write. I’m such a creature of habit, its mildly disgusting. Why can’t I be one of those wildly unpredictable women out there? The ones that make the men shake their heads and mutter, “women”?

We put on Kurosawa’s Dreams and I didn’t know that Van Gogh was played by Martin Scorsese. That was a lovely episode though. I think my favorite one was the one in front of the tunnel where the commander’s dead soldiers come back to haunt him. That was frickin brilliant. I just wish he hadn’t made the commander explain so much. In my opinion, leaving things a little open to interpretation would have worked just as well. Or the scene in the fist short when the boy stops in front of the rainbow spanning the valley. I wish I’d been able to see it on the big screen. Some of it was dreary but mostly it was just frickin genius.

Notorious was so badly scratched, the disk stopped halfway thru. I’m so mad. Grrrrrrrr.

Anyhoo, R came over and I haven’t seen him in a very long time so it was nice to play catch up. I’d forgotten how much fun he could be. J didn’t make it but what’s new about that? Poor thing – prolly slept in.

It feels like one of those moments right now, on my couch in my pjs, when I should be casting about for something profound. Something that will justify these minutes – ten by the clock – spent not asleep. But I have nothing. Just one of those mornings when its good to be alive and full of memories of other mornings spent in company and alone and that queer, sweet feeling of nostalgia mixed with … I don’t know…. Longing maybe? But if so for what?

Good night.