The Loser In Me

He was sitting on the couch opposite mine, in the university’s cafe.I was chatting to S, who was keen on reading her brief in record time before class.I secretly observed him.

He was tall, blonde,thin and had brown eyes.He stood with his knees together, and his talls lanky legs apart, making a triangle without a base.:) What amused me was the huge lunchbox on his lap.Inside the lunch box were four bananas, a fruit yogurt pack,a chocolate bar. a sandwich and some grapes. i sat quite amused, watching him finish his sandwich and his chocolate.He then took out a small shiny silver spoon ( wow! he comes prepared), and scooped the fruit yogurt out of the unsealed pack.Needless to say, the bananas were not spared. When all but just one of the bananas were devoured, he noticed my attention.I guess, he got quite uncomfortable then.He closed his lunchbox, neatly placed it in his backpack and sat twirling the last banana in his hand.I spared him the agony and averted my gaze, but the damage was done.He walked away with the last banana still twirling in his fingers.

I told S how i would like to get to know him and that i didn;t like the fact that he was sitting alone and had no friends.he reminded me of the losers shown in teenage movies.S just giggled.

this reminded me of statement made by a close friend a few months back.She asked me why i always attracted attention of the loserly, the weird, and the ones to whom no one talks to and wants to avoid?

"Maybe they see the Loser in me which i try desperately to hide!", i answered back.


I won’t be immodest enough to call myself full to the brim of unflinching humanity, but i must concede that i find it almost inhumane when certain people are singled out and not spoken to ie. generally alienated , simply owing to the fact that they are different.I’d like to talk to them, get to know them, make them smile, make them feel, that they do belong.I don’t know if they ever have belonged anywhere, or if my attempts generally failed, but i am content knowing that i just may have ( secret hope) made them feel better and nicer.A nice conversation or simply an acknowlegement can’t be that bad.


it has back fired at times.For instance once a freak tutor developed hots for me and totally freaked and grossed me out.That was never my intention.I was only nice to him because other students made fun of him.


This is totally beyond the point though. The point is:

The guy with the big lunch box should have friends!