Flight and Fashion

As I walk into the plane, am greeted by a desi aunty, and i think to my self, this has got incident written all over. Maybe not fair to call her aunty, for all I know, I probably have a few years on her. But it’s the look; you know how some women are aunties at 22. A dear friends rule is if she has shat a kid out, she is one. Age has nothing to do with it.

So have had a long week and in no mood for any talk at all, so hoping for an isle all to myself. Settle down. Lucked out. Or did I. Agay bacha, peechay Bacha, Catty-Corner Bacha. BC Easter weekend, of course its family travel time. Should have taken the last flight out. Only consolation, across the isle fresh spring choozy.

Choozy is wearing Khussaz. They are all made of those shiny little dots, the kind you find on kurtas and abundance of which make you look like a minibus. Am thinking those are cool. Our fashions are talking over. Time for us to give something back to western fashion. I wander. You know she would be realy hot in a trendy shalwar kamez. Nothing sexier than a slender bachi in a stylish SK. Except for maybe a suit with a tie, or a skirt with tall fukme boots, or any outfit that has a pole to go with it.

My name is Shnaaz and I have Heidi with me, brings me back to the flight. Shnaaz has a heavy punjabi accent. And no it’s not the PIA ka fake accent, so I cant expect the ending with a “shukryaaah”. Our flayt taym to Chacago will be 2 hrs tenty fav minits. I can’t help wondering why is Heidi Ho not making the announcement. Uskee to ungrezy bhee achee hay. Anyway this is better, do not discriminate.

I am gonna ask for a rooh afza or doodh patti. No you cant. You will be acting like the people they are trained to avoid on PIA flights. An Image of some lahory uncles from earlier days came to mind. They had their Chivas and were happy to share it with anyone on a flight from London to Karachi. And did they bug the hell out of the Shnaaaz on duty then. But Shnaaz did handle them very well; actually I think she was enjoying it. Something about Paki bacheez. They do like chichoray.

So as if she could detect something, present day Shnaaaz totally skips me and I wonder maybe Main Heidi kay hissay ka hun. No big deal, they are busy. She does come back and asks. She does tell me that the coffee is very hot and she has doubled the cup, and I shouldn’t really have it black. I wanted to ask, kyun kya mera rung kala ho jae ga?

Anyway the rest of the flight was uneventful. No sports talk, no whining about someone getting divorced. Except BC bachay screaming and Daddy in the back seat giving lessons to his chutya brat. This is when I wish I were on a PIA flight. Would have loved to see some aunty Chamaat the hell out of one of these brats.

Shnaaz once again on the PA, We at United thank you for flying with us, we know you have a Chaice of careers. Your luggage will be at caroo saaal fav.

If only she had started with velcome velcome ;) this could have a much better piece.