God found her papers

When a person comes into your life, you are blessed with many new relations. When a dear one passes aways, centuries old bonds seem to scatter in the river of time. They are like the knot that held your universe together. The silent knot no one notices till it becomes undone, and all falls apart.

They were the common roots to your aunts, uncles, cousins and the relatives you have never seen - only heard about in the conversations.

Then the unexpected dreaded time comes, they are gone - your roots. Its too late - you want to turn back the clock for that one thing you could’ve done or one more conversation you could’ve had.

The new joys can never dull the pain. The memories come back in torrents and haunt you.

They live thru you or you see them in new borns, yet, they cannot be replaced.

The only precious gifts in life you remember and miss are the moments you spent with them. Their kind and soothing words, warmth, gentleness, large hearts, and their brave and noble souls.

They never let you see their tears, they never let you listen to their sighs, they never let you feel the pain in their hearts.

You could never say the last SS Akal. In innocence, you never want to, you expect and hope for their immortality. You try to find them among the stars at night. You try to hear their footsteps in the lanes they walked. You try to find their shadows in the homes and doorways. All that is left is emptiness and void.

I lost my Nani earlier this month. She used to joke that God had lost her papers [to the next world]. He hadn’t lost them, I wish he had. She was frank, " I don’t want to leave this world either - its too colorful".

She will always live in every moment of my existence.