fair is beautiful - yes i've said it!

am i personally to blame for this inferiority complex? is it down to natural selection and therefore inbred in our genes? or is it one of many out-dated and warped views on life that sub-continental society still obsesses with in order to control society, along with subjugation of women, castes or braadris and dowry/jaheiz? I personally think that it's all three. The desire to be fairer skinned and look middle-eastern, italian or even caucasian is something all pakistani women aspire to.....it's a ticket to priveleges, better treatment, compliments, popularity and ultimately better marriage opportunities. I (unfortunately and unusually for a northern punjabi) am of wheatish complexion and don't have the typical sharp features of pakistani punjabis who I am the first to say are some of the most beautiful women in the world. i consider my self to be good looking but more 'indian' in my looks and quite happy with myself generally, but i know i am judged to be a bit diffeent from the norm, and that some pakistanis i meet are eager to check my origin: am i indian? or then i must be a bihari from karachi? But i am actually from punjab, and my family have been punjabi for generations (since they moved from indian about 200 years ago) but even amongst pakistani society colour is an issue, and it's the first thing people judge you by. for example my inlaws who are pukhtoons, are classically goodlooking pakistanis (i know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but i make this judgement based on what I believe pakistani society and its media has set as the standard beauty), some have blond hair and blue eyes, brown hair, black hair and all are fair: i know some in the family are a bit dismayed secretly to see their blood being blotted, what colour would the children be was the big question? would they also have brown eyes and brown hair or would they take after their mother. The comments were distressing, but i secretly found myself wanting my children to be fair as well - why is that i ask myself? I suppose i want society to accept them and to adore them, rather than question whether they are immigrants or of a lower caste. women of fair complexion do not even need to try - they are instantly a magnet (generally, yes there are exceptions) unless their personality eventually lets them down, wheatish women on the other hand, do not attract that attention and instead they have to sweeten their language, be 'nice' and overly respectable to get any appreciation from society. fair women can get away with rudeness and haughtiness up to a limit, but a wheatish women is branded ugly unless she can compensate by being overly sugary or can prove her worth by becoming an intellectual professional independent woman who is doing well for herself. A brown woman cannot just be, she has to prove her worth to society. This is my observation on our society and although I know it's wrong, i secretly know there would generally have been benefits of being fairer with my own personality intact of course.