Something is so wrong...

My head is buzzing right now… too many thoughts I can’t even explain. I can hear voices in my ears and can read words which never existed but somehow they are plastering my already shattered-by-exhaustion mind.

Why am I so stagnant all a sudden? And my mind racing so hard to reach the end of the world for answers? What’s going on? What’s wrong? What has disturbed my peace so awefully that I feel a bellowing cry inside my chest? Why is everything a mistake to me right now?? Why do I feel I just lost the dignity I was looking for?

I’m already too tired to put back the frail jigsaw puzzle of my thoughts, my unanswered questions… but the broken pieces remind me… “there’s something wrong Faiqah, you have damned something with your own hands”.

Do I run forward or do I turn back? Wow, this confusion can solemnly keep me in that same fixed position of mine. I feel the calamity arising, my instincts are telling me… and sadly they are never wrong. There’s something going to happen soon… too soon for my senses to pick up the thread, but too late for me to stop it.

I do fear… and I can’t face it. I am too strong for others but the weakest for myself.