hungama hai kyoN burpa, thori si jo pi lee hai

Born and raised in a Muslim family, you get to hate few things as you are told again and again that they are haram and bad and just AWFUL !! Sharab, jua , pork etc etc were one of them. Sharab appeared so bad to me that I always imagined it as dark greenish brown in color and fumes coming out of it and it being somewhat very similar to Dettol. The smell and fumes were similar to cholrine gas which we made in our chemistry class.

My first encounter with sharab was with Waheed Murad. Or maybe it was Nadeem , or Mohammad Ali or Shahid...or one them. He would come home late at night in one of the movies. His mother would still be waiting for him at midnight with dinner ready for him. He would enter the house swaying and slurring. His mother would start questioning him and then get closer to him and sniff the air around him and would say " too nay sharrab pi hai ???!!!" and he would say..." Haan Haan mai nai sharrab pi hai...koi jurm nahi kia ..." but his sentance would be interrupted in the middle with a zannatay daar thuppur from the old frail mother....and then threats about doodh naa bukhshnaa etc etc...

The other encounter I remember was when Babra Sharif got drunk as her diet coke was mixed with whiskey by the villain , and she went around singing:

" yeh aaj mujh ko kia hua lalalalalala
ajeeb saa suroor hai
badan nasahy mai choor hai
agar mai jaam chor doon
kisi pai hath chor doon
kaha sunna maira muaaf karna
yeh aaj mujh ko kia hua lalalalalala"

and I just cannot forget how she would slap the villain tarrakh tarakkah right and left in that song all along...

When I was in college I remember a guy collecting money on a Friday. One girl giggled and said its the weekend so he is collecting for a big bottle for boys's hostel. and I was like..." pur pur pur...sharab tau...", " haram hai ??" she completed the sentance for me , and I in sukta , nodded my head..., and she burst out laughing.
The same guy one other day , was going somewhere jhoomta jhamta , and I was told " is naai aaj churs pi hui hai"..
and I was like...lahul wala quat!
I was in New York city years later taking and exam and I saw the same chursee sharabee in the lunch break drinking beer. He told me he was finishing his cardiology fellowship soon. So I guess if his liver is still okay, he may be doing cardiac caths round the clock.

Khair I thought of all that , last night when I was doing my groceries and went into the budlight isle and was surrounded by all kinds of liquor and was like " oh where is the organic fruit isle ? "....

Hoping to winning the lotto has changed my concept about Jua but still never tasted sharab or ate pork. Maybe if the pig looked like a rabbit or duck or deer , it wouldnt have looked so haram..but that nose !! Yuk !! After Barabara Streissand , he defintely needs a nose job.