re-think

in the taking a stand exercise, i am the one who stands out in the "confused" group. most often, i "dont know", am confused and absolutely in awe of the other two groups who can so confidently and clearly say that they agree strongly or disagree, with reasons in tow...

never been able to do that..

and then again today, when people ask are you sure seema? bas, i go into a rethink...

dont ask me if i am sure about this or that. for today, i know i am. tommorow the events of everyday life will decide whether i will continue to be sure...

so, it is the same for sur. my friend, is he? or is he the worst enemy that one has come across in life? or is he the catalyst - the action of whose moves me closer to where i want to go in life, what i want to be...? what has his presence meant? warm for years, cold and heartless often and then indifference...

somewhere in MA, i read... indifference is the worst state to be in... either to be met with or to mete out...

i struggle to understand that. and many other such incidents in my life. which happen. which threaten to pull me off from my roots... yet there is something stronger that ensures i dont die yet...

it would have been good friend, if we mattered to each other. that way, there would be one less event to sigh and mull over... and mope that we lost in life, once again...

should i say, anyway..?

no, this is life, as real as it gets. and saying "anyway" does not do away with years long of tears, sweat, pain, care, solidarity... comradeship...

nothing can take away that.

not even your "indifference".

so, while one continues to ask "WHY", there is a parallel process that opens up more avenues - different, exciting, scary, inviting...

i am already on my way. see if you can make it.

till then, live and let live.