consultants are like psychologists...

you trust in them, hand over your inner secrets to them, in the hopes of becoming a better and competitive being someday. but then consultants/psychologists use this information to find your deepest insecurities and make you realize how ill prepared you are for real life. and so you begin to trust them and depend on their daily advice.

They tell you of the problems you never thought you had. And some days you feel that the problems they solved were the ones that they had created in the first place. One day you look in horror as your psychologist tells you that your current problems stem from the repressed memories of childhood abuse. "But I never had an abusive childhood!", you scream. "Oh yes you did!", shouts back your psychologist. You have similar shouting match over your consultant's "findings" regarding your company too.

To prove their point, they walk you through the analysis that they had conducted in PowerPoint. They show you diagrams of your shortcomings. There are some slides where they had you benchmarked against what normal human beings / companies should look like. You notice that the bar charts of your performance appear to be bhindis when put in comparison with bar charts of normal people/companies.

5 years go by in a jiffy. But, uneasily enough, you still find yourself a fukking loser AND bleeding cash through your ass. And so one day in a fit of anger and self-dependency, you fire your consultant/psychologist

only to hire another one a short time later...cuz now you are hooked for life