enough already

So, next time I start yapping about bullshit like “signs” – kick me. Yeah seriously, mail me a kick or two. Or just leave a little note somewhere on the iLog. Or better still, walk over to me, and personally deliver the violence. I’m up for it.

Life is twisted. And then I think someone up there has an even more twisted sense of humor.

I’m not going to get into the whole story (it’s not exciting) but basically, I’m sitting here and staring at a guy who believes, with every atom in his body, that Destiny just opened up its doors to him. In his head – he ‘waited’ eight years. In reality, there was no wait. In his head, upon his return to this city, him getting a job in the same building as the one I work in - is pure Fate. In reality, it’s just a frikkin' coincidence.

*gasp* Did I say ‘coincidence’? I, the fervent believer of Signs? Yeah yeah. I’m real now. Screw the ‘signs’. They mean jackshit. But I get where the fool is coming from. I would’ve thought the same thing: Fate, Destiny, meant-to-be bullshit. But it isn’t. He’s made me realize the whole signs philosophy means jack. Now I just need to figure out how to tell him that. First he landed up at my office claiming he saw my office details on some school database. My ass. I’m on no school database. I have stayed far and away from the OldwhateverSociety. They don’t know where I am, what I do and frankly, couldn’t care less. So I stand there at the reception and politely talk for a bit. I don’t ask him to come in. No way. But now that he’s in this building – I keep running into him.

He’s been asking around about my offspring too. OFFSRPING?? Do I look like I’d ever mother anything?? Jesus Christ. And now there’s emailing. I can’t stand this. “Is this your address?” Yes it is but there’s no reason, sense or point in you getting to know it or its recipient. Dammit. I mean, it’s not like I hate him or anything. Just that I’m not very fond of people who….stalk? Yeah that would be it. Stop following me around. Stop emailing me. Stop walking into my office. Stop walking up and down the stairs all day just so we can ‘accidentally’ bump into each other. Let coincidence happen, if it must. And bloody learn to differentiate between that (coincidence) and Fate. There is no Destiny crap. There are no signs.

I’m pissed off. It’s been a lousy few weeks. I have injuries that refuse to heal. I have work that refuses to finish. I have writer’s block. I have a cancelled vacation ticket. I have zero access to good music. I have insomnia. I have all the attention from bloody psychopaths and zero from those who would normally be considered ‘normal’. I have lost my faith in 'signs'. And I don’t have a life.

Yeah. So excuse me but I’m pissed off.


11/04/08; 1:03pm